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WHAT PETS WRITE IN THEIR DIARIES

A friend of mine sent this to me and I thought all you dog and cat lovers would enjoy.....

WHAT PETS WRITE IN THEIR DIARIES
Excerpts from a Dog's Diary.....
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8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
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5:00 pm - Milk Bones! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

Excerpts from a Cat's Daily Diary...
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Day 983 of my captivity...

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets.
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Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.

The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a 'good little hunter' I am. Bastards.

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of 'allergies.' I must learn what this means and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.

The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now ....

Lilypie Pregnancy tickers image Heather and Mark | Lanikuhonua 8-14-08

Re: WHAT PETS WRITE IN THEIR DIARIES

  • Cute!
    Arrived 4.5 weeks early due to PROM
    image
    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
    Cerclage placed @ 21w6d due to CI (IC)
  • LMAO!!! I so cannot show this to the hubby! I've been trying to convince him to let me have a cat( and I am so close) and he doesn't like them in the least because "they are sneaky and coniving and will plot to kill me." This will def give him some affirmation on his whacked out theory. LOL
  • I have gotten this email and I totally think it's so true! :) funny how they're so different huh?
  • hilarious!  i shared this with my co-workers who have dogs and/or cats.  it is so true!  when i read the dog diary, i totally thought of my Miller.  i've never had a cat, but based on the stories i've heard from cat owners, i can totally imagine that too!
    image
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