Hawaii Nesties
inamra
member
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Err...not sure if I want to eat at this restaurant...
Has anyone ever heard of anyone doing this? This is definitely a first for me...
http://www.nypost.com/p/news/local/manhattan/nurse_made_JQlMRBr5ZgO6iD07AX83MJ
Makes my stomach turn...
Sept 2008 Wedding | May 2010 & Mar 2012 Babies
Re: Err...not sure if I want to eat at this restaurant...
Cerclage placed @ 21w6d due to CI (IC)
See, now this doesn't bother me, I suppose because the milk is going into the type of person (a baby) that it was meant for. I'm not saying that breast milk is so superior to formula that you should use donated milk instead of formula if you can't BF, but I actually don't find it that weird of a concept...maybe because wet nurses have been around for thousands of years, and at least with donated milk the kid isn't actually attached to someone else's boob. Then again, I didn't think it was weird or wrong when Salma Hayek breastfed that baby either. *shrug*
Yeah, that's how I feel about it too. Breast milk is for babies, IMO. Not for my cheese.
LOL I bet this is something you never thought you'd have to say.
HA! That's hilarious
I swear, the conversation we have on these boards 
I agree w/ the Selma Hyack thing, but that baby was starving. I think it was just a foreign concept to me to have my LO drink another womans milk, I mean, it never occured to me that there would ever be a situation where it would even be an issue. I thought that once you have a baby, your milk comes in, I really thought it was that easy.
At the same time, if someone else told me that they used "donated" milk, I probably wouldn't have thought twice about it, but when it became MY child, all of a sudden it seemed weird. I know, it doesn't make sence...
Cerclage placed @ 21w6d due to CI (IC)
p.s. i think I'll make a bumper sticker that says:
"BOOBIE MILK IS FO' BABY! NOT FO' CHEESE!"
Cerclage placed @ 21w6d due to CI (IC)
SUCH a good point! I think that unless you talk to other moms a lot - as we do on this board - it's really easy to think that's what happens. I mean, even in most baby books, it doesn't really cover the topic except in a vague, "OK so your child has been born, they'll need to feed every 2 hours" kind of way.
I have a friend who didn't know that BFing was painful at first, and for some bizarre reason the nurses at her hospital kept telling her that if she was doing it right it wouldn't hurt (WTF????). She ended up quitting after 3 days or so, I think, and going to formula because she thought it would hurt that badly forever. She's told me since then that she wishes she knew that it hurts for EVERYONE but that it gets better, but no one told her that and she simply didn't know.
I think there's just SO much that we don't know about when it comes to childbirth, I think the books either scare you to death or make it seem like its a walk in the park. Remember the convo we had a few weeks back about recovery from birth and how many people said, I had NO idea how hard it would be, vag'ly or C. I think there's alot that woman don't say for fear of being judged, it's hard for me to say that I formula fed E since she was a week old, REALLY hard, but I talk about it openly just incase another woman has to deal with thinking she's the only mom who "can't" breast feed so hopefully she doesn't feel like a faliure as I did.
Cerclage placed @ 21w6d due to CI (IC)
I think it's great that you're willing to be open about it...honestly, I think it's a bit bizarre that we (as a society) are so appallingly judgy about BFing. There's this massive stigma associated with not BFing, but it's simply one of those things that not everyone can do, and I'm glad we live in times where there is the option of using formula - can you imagine living back in the day when being unable to breastfeed may have meant your child suffering severe malnutrition or even dying? And yet you're somehow a bad person for putting your baby first and doing what you need to do (for whatever reason you need to do it) to keep them healthy.
It was SO interesting when I was in the hospital because they sent in LC after LC and they just manhandled me like I was supposed to be totally comfortable by the time the FORTH stranger came in to feel me up! Finally, a nurse in her mid 60's (who I just wanted to adopt as my grandma) came in and watched me just crumbling because E wouldn't latch and my milk wasn't coming in, she said to me as I was holding my baby, "She's doing the best she can." And it hit me that I was forcing E to suck on a dry boob! And at that point I realized that I was making it more about ME and my need to feel like a "good" mom than about putting my babies health first. It took me another week and for E to lose 10% of her body weight AND my dr. saying, it's OK to let this go, that I finally relented. But it wasn't easy. Every time E sneezes I think, OMG! It's becasue I didn't BF!
Cerclage placed @ 21w6d due to CI (IC)
Awww! (((hugs)))
But look at her now - she's a sweet, adorable little girl (loving that siggy pic, btw), and perfectly healthy. She's not malnourished and hasn't suffered from needing formula, and I absolutely think you did the right thing by her.
I was reading one of the Bump boards yesterday, and there was a poll about how long everyone was planning to BF. Every single person who responded said at least 12 months and anything less than that is just terrible, and I felt SOOO guilty.
Assuming I don't have any supply issues, I have zero intention of BFing past 6 months. This is because at 6 months it will be allergy season here again, and I cannot - simply cannot - go another year without being able to take my medication. I just can't do it.There is no way I will be able to cope with caring for twins, starting back at work, and having to go through what I did last season (gasping to breathe, unable to sleep at night, barely able to function during the day...I don't just get mild sniffles or some congestion - it was torture).
And then I thought to myself: why do I feel guilty about this? 6 months is still good. 6 months still gives them plenty of nutrition. They will not suffer if I stop at 6 months, and I think that having a happy mother will be much more beneficial to them than trying to BF when I'm incredibly stressed and out of my mind with severe allergies.
Oy vey! You're already feeling guilty and the pirates aren't even born yet! Welcome to motherhood sister!
For as far as we've come as women in our society, we still can be our own worst enemies w/ the whole guilt/judgement thing. Rob looks at me absolutly sideways with some of the things I worry about, like where do you even come UP with this stuff??
I think if there were a way to let go of that garbage, we'd be so much better off. We worry about if our bodies measure up, we worry about if we measure up as mothers, it's all just insanity. And we have the power to stop it...and yet, we don't.
Even now, anytime someone mentions anything about how chubby E's thighs are, it just makes me cringe. The second she understands what that means, fat/chubby/pudgy are all words that I'll start throwing punches if someone uses in relation to my daughter.
Cerclage placed @ 21w6d due to CI (IC)
Amen to that.
Sometimes it's so ridiculous, the things I worry about or feel guilty about...and yet I can come up with things without even trying.
Ugh, about the chubby thing - I used to know a guy who had a 13 year old daughter. She was a bit overweight - not obese or anything, just had what I would genuinely consider puppy fat. Sweet girl, and definitely self conscious and very aware of her body. One day, the dad told me in idle conversation that he told his daughter "yet again" that she's fat and needed to shed some pounds. I was shocked and told him that he shouldn't say things like that to her - first because she was young and growing/developing, and second because she was certainly aware of her weight without his criticism. His response was, "Yeah but I'm her dad, so it will mean more coming from me than it will from anyone else."
**HEADSMACK** I used to get stuff like that all the time, my family is really great about the whole "teasing" thing, i.e. saying something REALLY mean, following it up with "Just Kidding" and thinking it takes the sting away. Idiots.
**alright off to bed for this horrible mom who obviously doesn't love her child enough to BF, might as well just put her crib in the back yard
Cerclage placed @ 21w6d due to CI (IC)
(sorry to hijack this thread - i do think the whole cheese thing is gross)
but Lisa and Kristen - you guys hits on so many points i agree with... i think there is so much no one talks about... the LCs kept telling me how it's not supposed to hurt if you're doing it right too...no one told me it hurts for everyone the first few weeks and then it doesn't hurt if you're doing it right... but of course my nipples were already damaged from the get go anyway from a bad latch so i couldn't tell the difference... and i've been meaning to post my BFing woes...err, i mean BFing experience
for a while now but haven't had the chance...but we actually used donated milk for miss A for two feedings... it was really important to us that she get milk and not formula for reasons i'll go into later (nothing against those who use formula)... but I really didn't know anything about BFing before going into it and just assumed i would BF for at least a year... now my goal is 6 months and i will reassess at that point if i will continue... i just always assumed it would be easy and i have learned the hard way that it isn't.
Jaime & Brent
Oahu, Hawaii | Sept. 9, 2005
My Food Blog - Good Eats 'n Sweet Treats
Why on earth do they tell people this?!? I just don't get it. Honestly, if I didn't have ladies like the ones on this board to talk to, I would probably start BFing and think something was terribly wrong with me because it was hurting. The ONLY reason I know that it's painful for everyone is because of what I've heard from other moms. I actually think it's quite irresponsible of LCs to tell women that it shouldn't hurt right away...
TTC/PG Blog | Mommy Blog
The first 10 days my nips killed! Thank goodness for Ms. Ziz's recommendation to get some Gel Soothies...total life saver! I was confused too about "it's not supposed to hurt" thing...but common sense took over...to have someone sucking on any body part, let alone a sensitive one like nipples, has got to hurt just a little in the beginning, before they get used to it. And that's what happened. I did check and re-check her latch because I was SO paranoid that it was incorrect and causing the pain. Thankfully, Libby has been a great nurser from the get-go and has basically taught me how to breastfeed.
TTC/PG Blog | Mommy Blog
YUCK on the boob cheese!
sad that peeps give the side eye if you formula feed...do you guys think it's more of a nest/bump thing? you know it was kind of like that when we wedding planned and everything had to be a certain way or it was the devil...haha.
i never knew their was such pressure to breast feed until the nest.
i was never breast fed and i'm uber healthy
oh and i was one of those that thought you just put the baby on the boob and it was good to go
i like how the office episode really highlighted the difficulties of breast feeding.
Unfortunately no, not just a Bump thing. In the state where I live (New South Wales), the official stated position of the medical community is "breast is best." In hospitals, nurses and LCs are discouraged from discussing formula feeding (even in cases where the mother is clearly struggling with BFing), and all of the handouts that you get are strictly about breastfeeding. Personally, I think the pendulum has swung too far in that direction - although I'm 100% supportive of BFing and intend to do it myself, I think that they need to be more flexible.
I was really surprised by that episode of The Office - BFing was sooo not a topic I expected to see on that show, but I agree, it was nice to see it actually discussed!
I think The Nest certainly reinforces unattainable expectations. Just TK did w/ wedding planning. The sideways glances really bothered me until by the time E was 3 weeks old, she would only get up once a night and started sleeping through the night completely at 8 weeks. And since we formula fed, my H was just as responsible for feeding & her care as I was, it's been 50/50 since day 1 (or day 7 for that matter
So I really got off the hook with alot of the BF'ing frustrations that some moms have to go through.
I think the sensitivity around BF'ing in this decade is similar to the sensitivity around daycare in the 80's. Today, if you're not BF'ing your baby, you're considered to be setting them up for a lifetime of illness, and if you DO BF, your child will be immuno-intellectually superior. Back then, if you talked about daycare, you were basically saying your child was going to be neglected for it's entire childhood.
I think parenting these days is SO "by the book" and in some cases can make things more difficult than thy need to be.
Cerclage placed @ 21w6d due to CI (IC)