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He's Fast... you know what I mean and I need some tips on what to do
He always "went" quickly. To me this has always meant that I am THAT good.
- 2 years ago - M broke down in tears over a bottle of wine and told me that he needed help. He said that he was letting me down every time we got in the sack/closet/shower/car. And never had very much confidence in himself bc he has always been a quickie. I told him that I was not distraught over his "quickness", however I would support him in anything that he does. So, he made an appointment to a urologist and I went along for the ride. The doctor ended up telling him that he is completely healthy in his man region and the real issue would be fixed in therapy.
- Today - He has not gone to therapy. We haven't had sex in over a month. It's been once a month since around the time of his visit to the doctor. I do oral favors 3-4 times a week. I just don't want to get all dirty in bed/closet/shower/car/hotel and have to shower, when I know that I am not going to get off.
I need your help.
Re: He's Fast... you know what I mean and I need some tips on what to do
No more oral 3-4 times a week. He's sexual satisfied so to speak and has no motivation to do anything to change something that isn't broken.
You guys could try delay creams, condoms, c-rings, etc.
Get "Time in a Bottle". Perhaps the quickness is not all mental? I've never heard of being fast as a mental problem. You can also get him close then stop doing what you're doing. And do this multiple times.
If he doesn't want to go to therapy then it won't help him anyway because he doesn't want to put the effort into it. KWIM?
If you are giving him oral that often, then he should do the same for you. Have you tried getting him off and having sex? Let him get a quick one out and then let him work on you.
I agree, "Time in a Bottle" works really well. We had this problem in the beginning. During sex he would stop for a little bit, and start again. It got a lot better as he kept doing this...after awhile he didn't have settle down as often. Not a great method, but it worked for us.
Ditto the PP who stated that you should stop satisfying him until he is satisfying you. He can touch you manually and orally or use toys to give you orgasms.
You need to make it clear that he needs to address this imbalance in your relationship. He needs to make your pleasure a priority.
this.
No more oral for him until he fixes the problem.
Tell him to practice getting close and backing off while masturbating. This should help him recognize the build up and learn to slow down in time to avoid ejaculating too early.
If he won't do this for you, he's a selfish pr!ck and not worth your time/love/affection.
This for sure! I NEVER O via intercourse, but also NEVER have sex without being satisfied in the end. It is very important to DH, who is also a quickie, that I am, and he is very good with hands and mouth!