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Juju!
I posted this on my local a couple of days ago, and thought I could use some A08' juju too...
I had a lump removed from my neck a week ago, and I still have not heard back on it yet. The Dr said that he was 100% sure that it was benign but there is a slight chance that it might be NF (my mom has this and it causes tumors all over her nerve endings), and I am just hoping it is not this.
In the good news front, DH and I have decided that it is time to TTC. I am finishing my last pack of pills next week, and then we are going to let nature take its course for a couple of months, and see what we get out of it. I have been scared to tell you all because of the whole bankruptcy thing, but doing that and paying off the cars will now allow us to save, and get a house faster then if we tried to pay everything off, and it will pay a WAY better finical head on our shoulders. Wish us luck girls!!!!! We could use it!
2004 Dx PCOS
500mg Metformin (not right dosage)
04/11 - Clomid 50mg - anovulation
06/11 - Clomid 100mg - anovulation
1500mg Metformin (Right dosage!!!)
07/11 - Wait for Metformin
07/29/11 - DH SA - Normal
07/28/11 - Femara 5mg - anovulation
08/22/2011 - Femara 5mg (CD 3-7) + Menopur 150ml (CD 8-14) + IUI #1 (9/7/2011) = BFP 09/21/2011
Beta #1 (16dpiui) 117 - Beta #2 (20dpiui) 830
Re: Juju!
sending you tons of juju for the lump! I hope you hear good news soon!!
good luck TTC. Depending on how long you've been on the pill it could take almost a year for it to completely get out of your system and for you to actually ovulate. Although, there are those people that go back to "normal" right away but don't get discouraged if it takes you a little longer than a few months to get PG
I hope the lump is nothing serious and easily fixable.
As for the TTC, all I can muster is a
considering your circumstances. No puppies and rainbows from me.
And that is okay.... Thank you
2004 Dx PCOS
500mg Metformin (not right dosage)
04/11 - Clomid 50mg - anovulation
06/11 - Clomid 100mg - anovulation
1500mg Metformin (Right dosage!!!)
07/11 - Wait for Metformin
07/29/11 - DH SA - Normal
07/28/11 - Femara 5mg - anovulation
08/22/2011 - Femara 5mg (CD 3-7) + Menopur 150ml (CD 8-14) + IUI #1 (9/7/2011) = BFP 09/21/2011
Beta #1 (16dpiui) 117 - Beta #2 (20dpiui) 830
Hope the lump is nothing serious.
As far as bankruptcy goes, doesn't it stay on your record for 7-10 years? Are there ways to get a home loan with filing sooner than that? I just know that the mortgage companies are being very strict these days and it's hard for a lot of us who haven't filed bankruptcy even refinance without jumping through hoops.
It does stay on there for awhile, yes, It most cases if you do the things that need to be done after the bankruptcy, you can better build your credit faster. About a year after my parents filed they were approved for a home loan. I understand that every situation is different, and that might not be an answer for us, and I am not counting my chickens before they hatch.
I wish 100% that would could avoid this whole thing right now, and you have to understand that this is VERY, hard for me. I am so ashamed that we are in this situation, but the more I talk to our lawyer, and the more I think about it, this is the only way out for us. We simply just can't pay our bills, we can't get caught up, we are not just keeping our heads above water, we are drowning
2004 Dx PCOS
500mg Metformin (not right dosage)
04/11 - Clomid 50mg - anovulation
06/11 - Clomid 100mg - anovulation
1500mg Metformin (Right dosage!!!)
07/11 - Wait for Metformin
07/29/11 - DH SA - Normal
07/28/11 - Femara 5mg - anovulation
08/22/2011 - Femara 5mg (CD 3-7) + Menopur 150ml (CD 8-14) + IUI #1 (9/7/2011) = BFP 09/21/2011
Beta #1 (16dpiui) 117 - Beta #2 (20dpiui) 830
Good thoughts for you on that lump... I hope it's nothing.
The bankruptcy thing will be an obstacle to overcome. DH filed exactly 5 years ago (he had high hospital bills from a car accident and no med insurance), and he worked hard to get his credit back to a good state. We had a little bit of an issue when we were getting my truck financed, but got it (thank goodness that's all paid for now though, ridiculous loan rate). The house thing was difficult with it, but we got it (3.5 years after he filed). However, when he was getting his motorcycle last year, he was denied, and then they wanted to use me on the loan (I was ok with it), and it turned out it was only me that could be on the loan to be approved - his name couldn't be on the loan at all because of his bankruptcy.
So it is an obstacle, but just focus on rebuilding your credit for the both of you, that should be your priority right now. Good luck, it is possible.
Sorry to hear about the lump Jami, I hope you find the results that you are looking for.
But I have to look out for your well-being with the bankruptcy, and wanting to TTC and buying a house all at the same time. I don't think it's the best possible time given if you were just treated for the lump, and trying to pay off credit card bills and buying a house. It's like jumping through hoops to do everything all at once. It's a very difficult path & journey for first-time homebuyers, given with the opportunity to cash in on the tax credit as well, but it's not always a smart choice if you're not ready.
Buying a house was one of the most difficult times that I've ever gone through, but adding TTC, without clearing your name...it's kinda jumping the gun right? You said that you can't pay your bills, can't get caught up? just drowning? How does a baby fit here? Wouldn't the baby add extra costs as well? Medicine, doctor visits, baby clothes aren't cheap...paying off your bills and clearing your credit should be your number one goal right now. I don't about you, but I couldn't see myself putting my baby through the same heartache that you're going through...it just wouldn't be fair. Being a homeowner is hard as well, paying your mortgage or having enough money to cover it might seem reasonable...but then add extra costs of bills...it truly does add up and so does having a baby.
It might add more stress to yourself than you think trying to juggle everything at once. If you think otherwise, that's great...more power to you. I just have to tell you the truth and my opinion, because I hate to see you go through more hoops. Let's focus on you getting better, paying off bills, clearing your name from bankruptcy, saving money for buying the house and then TTC? What do you think?
I hear you 100%, and I don't know all the things that we are about to go through, and I don't have all the answers, and this is so hard. In my mind and in my heart I am SO ready for a baby, I am SO ready to be a mom.
Let me see if I can play this out for you. I now have anextra $800.00 a month that can be used to pay bills, put into savings, etc. Pay paying off the cars, and getting a raise we can now accomplish that. We are filing on CC debt, and the extra money we have every month will be going to catching up on my student loans.
I wash just so excited, and now I don't even know anymore....
2004 Dx PCOS
500mg Metformin (not right dosage)
04/11 - Clomid 50mg - anovulation
06/11 - Clomid 100mg - anovulation
1500mg Metformin (Right dosage!!!)
07/11 - Wait for Metformin
07/29/11 - DH SA - Normal
07/28/11 - Femara 5mg - anovulation
08/22/2011 - Femara 5mg (CD 3-7) + Menopur 150ml (CD 8-14) + IUI #1 (9/7/2011) = BFP 09/21/2011
Beta #1 (16dpiui) 117 - Beta #2 (20dpiui) 830
Jami, you are 24 yrs old. You have a while before your eggs shrivel up and die.
An an extra $800 a month is good. But once you save some, pay your student loans off, pay bills, there isn't much left for a baby. And babies suck money out of you like you would not believe.
Take 5 or so years to save. Really really really save. And work out a budget so you can see what you are spending. If you don't fix what went wrong before you filed bankruptcy, you will most likely spiral down the same path again. Just because you have some extra money does not mean it must be spent. In the words of Andrea, "compounding interest is great!".
I can understand you wanting a baby now. I want a lot of things too. We all do. But just because we want them, does not mean we should get them. It's a give and take that requires sacrifice.
I'm not meaning to jump all over you, but it is the instant gratification attitude that probably started this whole fiasco in the first place. And unless you fix that, history will repeat itself.
I feel ya Jami on the so ready for a baby part. I've been SO ready for at least a year now. But our restraint was because of the position. DH doesn't want to work all day and evening to support a baby he'll never get to see. Strangely, we're in a closer position than a year ago, even with my job situation, but we're not in the "buckle down and get pg" phase at the moment. Money is stress, which is not good for a family.
My SIL was SO ready to have a baby, SO ready to be a mom. And they had a baby, in their one bedroom apartment, where they slept in their walk-in closet. And then another one came along a year later, and then 2 more in the next 4 years.They dug themselves deep in a hole, and now are really struggling. I'm not saying you're going to have 4 in a row. They were in deep when my first nephew came along, and it created problems for them early on. My brother is really down because he wasn't able to give his kids what he wanted to, and has said a time or two that he wished they would have waited a little bit before having kids.
Are you able to give your baby everything you want to give them, while still feeding yourself, putting gas in your car and keeping the lights on? All we're saying, is maybe focus on your financial situation for a while, put all your effort into that. It'll make getting pg a whole lot easier once your financial situation isn't so stressful.
We all just want you to do well, which is why we're discussing this with you. But you can still be excited about a baby without actively TTC, we're not shooting down your baby fever, just want to help you sort things out.
I know that you ladies are all right, every single word that you have said is so right on, I am just sad, and my heart hurts.
Don't think that I am not hearing everything that you are saying, I even just text Chris, and asked him if he thought we were crazy.
I am so torn between what my heart wants, and what my head says....
2004 Dx PCOS
500mg Metformin (not right dosage)
04/11 - Clomid 50mg - anovulation
06/11 - Clomid 100mg - anovulation
1500mg Metformin (Right dosage!!!)
07/11 - Wait for Metformin
07/29/11 - DH SA - Normal
07/28/11 - Femara 5mg - anovulation
08/22/2011 - Femara 5mg (CD 3-7) + Menopur 150ml (CD 8-14) + IUI #1 (9/7/2011) = BFP 09/21/2011
Beta #1 (16dpiui) 117 - Beta #2 (20dpiui) 830
Jami...I'm 31 years old, and I feel almost ready to be a mother as well. But I'm not jumping the gun to be one at all. I'm focusing on my marriage, my house, and me. I want to enjoy me, before I can be a mother, because your life will change dramatically when you do become one. You're only 24 years old, let's focus on you. Take it from me, because I've seen it through the eyes of my three younger sisters, who all had babies way too young, they were forced to grow up fast, never really enjoy their teens, 20s, and deal with raising kids while they were still one themselves. I'm not saying these kids are problems, but it did make things alot difficult for my 3 sisters. I love my nieces and nephews, but I see the pain and hardship and the joy that they bring my sisters, too.
An extra $800 does not seem significant to me, I've been working on paying off my student loan since 2003. I'll be paying one off this month, and I plan on finishing paying off the other one by next year. I've been out of college for 7 years, and still paying for it. I've been focusing on paying down the principal and paying more than the requested amount..it's taken awhile but I did it. I'm really proud of myself. I see the extra money interest that they collected as money that I could have kept for myself. School loan is low enough at 2% or 3%, but it's still money I could have kept in my pocket. The money that I took as loan should remain at the same amount, and not more than I took out.
Do you have a financial planner spreadsheet? Lay out all your debt, figure how much money you need to pay off your bills. Calculate it, figure out if that $800 would help you? Will it? Or would you be able to pay off your bills without all that extra interest? I would start paying off those cc bills, with everything going on with them changing rates...it might benefit you to pay them in full.
I'm only looking out for your best interest Jami..that's all. I'm sure you'd be a great mother, but let's focus on you.
I wish I could've posted earlier, but thankfully a lot of good was said in this post.
You need to focus on your finances right now. Bankruptcy is huge, you need to figure out WHY and HOW you got there before you even begin to think of buying a house, and waaaayyy before you think of having a baby. Make a budget, figure out how to pay all your bills and save. You can't keep on living your life the same way it is now after a bankruptcy, and adding extra stresses, especially financial ones is just asking for diaster.
I'm just saying, think, and think hard about this. If you couldn't afford, responsibly to take care of yourself and your husband, how would adding a child add to that situation?
I'm 28. I have no intention of starting a family until I'm secure in everything I feel I should be. You are so young, focus on your marriage, your budget, your job and your savings right now .Then move on.
Baby fever, is tough, but we aren't 16 year olds anymore, we have to not act on everything we WANT NOW, and start acting like the adults we need to be.
I don't want to be harsh, but logically, this makes absolutely no sense to me. I think you know that deep down.
P.S. I hope you are 100% healthy and that everything goes ok with your tests.
Firstly, I just want to commend you Jami on your maturity in taking these comments to heart. A lesser person would be defensive or angry at some of the things that have been said. Kudos to you for facing these opinions.
In saying that, ooooohhhh honey. You have always been one of my favorite girls on this board. It is with pure love that I say please don't rush into a baby when you have quite a burden to bear right now. Having a baby is so stressful and so, so hard. I was 32 when I got pregnant and I never in a million years could have imagined how hard this was going to be. I thought I knew what I was getting myself in to. Nope, I had no idea. And my baby is so well behaved and healthy. If I was also in the midst of trying to deal with a major financial obstable, I think I would lose my mind. THe financial burden of a baby is a lot even when finances are in order. I think we paid out roughly $15,000 on Dexter related expenses last year alone. If you think about your take home pay and reduce it by that much, I don't care how much you make, that hurts. A lot.
Daycare alone is $230/week. Maybe daycare is a little cheaper in your area or maybe you have someone to help you or maybe you are thinking of SAHM. But know that if any of those options don't work out for whatever reason, daycare could be necessary. Diapers, formula, clothes, medical copays, diapers, food, toys and more diapers. Not to mention a college fund.
I hope that you aren't feeling bullied and I hope that anyone else thinking of TTC is taking this to heart as well. I have heard the arguement of "you are never ready for a baby" and that's true but give yourself the best possible shot at being happy. A baby is enough to drive a wedge into a marriage, add finanicial stress onto it and I hate to say it but I fear it wouldn't stand a chance.
Seeing as your parents also filed for bankruptcy, can I suggest a counselor or someone to help you work out some possible triggers or spending issues that could be inherent and the root of the problem? Spending can be just as much of an addiction as drugs, alcohol or anything else. You may want to nip any bad habits before history repeats itself. I hate to be critical but if you like to shop and I know you have a great fashion sense it would be pretty hard to resist over spending for cute baby clothes. Everything is irresistable.
I wish you the absolute best of luck but I do hope that you can take a deep breath and maybe put those baby plans on the back burner and focus on YOU. When you are feeling strong and powerful and at peace with your life a baby is going to make life sooooo happy for you. When there's stress in your life a baby is a GIGANTIC magnifying glass.
As for the lump in your neck. I am sure I don't have to say how hopeful I am that it is nothing. All of my prayers are with you on that.
Thank you Gerrie, these were very kind words. We have to see a financial counselor it is something that we already have in the works, and you have to take a couple classes before, and after you file.
I am thinking about all of the things that everyone has said, and I had a good cry in the car on the way home. I do really appreciate everything. I think that we REALLY need to sit down and talk this out, can we really do this, is getting a home right now more important, or can we find something to rent to a little while......
You have all posed some awesome questions for me and DH, and we really need to think about them. For now I am just going to concentrate on getting all of our paper work done, and then revisit in a month or two.
2004 Dx PCOS
500mg Metformin (not right dosage)
04/11 - Clomid 50mg - anovulation
06/11 - Clomid 100mg - anovulation
1500mg Metformin (Right dosage!!!)
07/11 - Wait for Metformin
07/29/11 - DH SA - Normal
07/28/11 - Femara 5mg - anovulation
08/22/2011 - Femara 5mg (CD 3-7) + Menopur 150ml (CD 8-14) + IUI #1 (9/7/2011) = BFP 09/21/2011
Beta #1 (16dpiui) 117 - Beta #2 (20dpiui) 830
I will also add that a house and moving can also do this. It's tough to balance a house and all that comes with it. Things break down that you don't expect, we had to spend $300 to repair our furnace out of the blue, lord knows our AC needs to be fixed too, we had to replace our dishwasher our first year even though it was semi-new. Then there's just everything that you don't think of that you need. A house can easily eat into any safety money you have (ask Mel about her tree and roof). I don't even want to think about how much we've spent on little house stuff each year and it continues to grow just to live in it. Or your car breaks down or you get a flat tire and have to replace them all. These are all things that happen and you have to take care of and a house is a lot more responsibility than just renting. Yes, it's nice to have a house but if you're not financially ready for it then it will hurt you and your marriage.
Money is the number 1 cause for divorce and add the compound of struggling more and adding a baby into the mix would make things really tough. We don't want you to set yourself up for failure or get back into the same position you are now.