Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Embarrassing Question: Inexperienced Area
Husband and I have been married about 10 mos. We had been dating for 8 years before. During that time, we had been having sex. At first, I was on BC. I went off of it due to weight gain. We haven't used anything but condoms since(he also pulls out just in case).
Since we have been married, sex has been starting to drop off. History- We have had our high points and low points in our sex life. No relationship problems, I just have a hard time to get aroused. Some months we would have sex 2-3 times a week, others times months would go by. I found it better once I went off BC.
I want to have more sex. I know husband does too. One thing I noticed that usually holds me back is that we will start to get going and then we have to run upstairs to get a condom, the lube, and then get back into the mood. It completely ruins it for me, and like I mentioned I tend to be hard to get aroused. I just want to be able to have sex without the condom and not worry about getting pregnant. I have never had sex without a condom, but I hate condoms, they smell or squeak and I have tried a lot of the different brands that ladies on here have mentioned.
There is absolutely no way that we want a baby right now. I am willing to go back on BC, but I am scared that I will end up preggers because it isn't strong enough or it will decrease my drive even more. Silly, but true.
Anyone have any suggestions to get our sex life back up and running again? Or can anyone relate so I don't feel so alone on this one.
Re: Embarrassing Question: Inexperienced Area
I highly recommend fertility awareness, if not as your primary birth control, then as a tool to assist - check out Taking Charge Of Your Fertility, you can borrow the book at your library. By understanding how reproduction occurs (beyond the boy meets girl part) and how your particular cycle is progressing as it's happening (since each is different), you can avoid sex or use additional protection when needed to avoid pregnancy and enjoy barrier free sex when you're outside your fertile window.
What I'm talking about is not rhythm method - you can not base future fertility on past.
If you want to talk to some people doing the same check out tcoyf.com. There's forums with a whole section for women TTA. Even if you decide to go another route I would still recommend you read the book - it's amazing to actually know what the heck is going on with your body.
BFP 11.8.12 * EDD 7.17.13 * MC 12.20.12
Whiskey Tango Foxtrot, over!
I second all of this. Every girl should be given a copy of that book!
I'd go back on BC but talk to your doctor about any problems or concerns you've had in the past (sex drive) and let him know of your fear that it won't work, maybe him telling you about the effectiveness of BC will ease your mind more.
also...about the condoms leaking....how and where is this happening? If a condoms leaking I wouldn't think it's working and it might be because you're putting it on wrong or something....
Thanks Ladies, I think that I am going to make an appointment and talk with my doctor.
As for the IUD, I originally was going this route until I talked to a few lady friends. Those conversations put me off. Several said that sisters or girlfriends that used it ended up having problems. Examples: Hysterectomies, discomfort, tubelar pregnancies, etc. They all said that it may not be my best route because I have not had children and it can be worse for me. Does any of the above hold true for you women that have the IUDs?
Agreed. My husband and I use this because BC was really hard on my body, and condoms are not our favorite. The fertility awareness method works great, and my body feels normal again! This will be our 5th month on it, and we are still baby-free.