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Friday Poll- BFFs
After catching up on my DVR last with 3 episodes of Housewives of OC/NY, it got me to thinking about my current state of friendships in general.
I can honestly say that I have lots of friends, but I just don't have one very close girlfriend. I rarely talk to one friend more than a few times a month. This sometimes makes me sad, but then again, I have my DH who is my true best friend, so why should I feel bad that I don't have a super close girlfriend? I've had a few throughout the years and they always end up f*ing me over. I've watched my mother get trampled by her girlfriends her whole life (always giving, never receiving), and I just refuse to do it. Anyways, wondering if I'm the only freak that doesn't dig the female drama enough to keep close girlfriends.
So, what's your take on this? Do you ladies have one, true BFF? If so, do you ever fight?
Re: Friday Poll- BFFs
I do have a BFF we do share a lot of things, but at the same time there are so many things that we can't relate! My BFF is someone I can truly count on her when I need her, but I since we come from different backgrounds we are very different in so many ways. She doesn't get my addiction to high fashion, I don't get her being so submissive to her husband and can't spend a penny without her husband actually seeing the item, ...
In short there are times that I do miss having a friend that we could go shopping with.
I have had BFFs that we shared everything together, my high school BFFs, the only reason we are not in each others lives is becuase of the distance.
I strongly believe the friendships you make as adults are based on how much is advantageous to each of you.
Aside from my DH and my sister (who I talk to everday day) I do have one best friend but she's a plane flight away. We were very good friends in high school but at college we became best friends (even though were at different schools). We've known each other for 12 years now and been through a whole range of things. I only get to see her 3 or so times a year but we talk every week.
We have never had a big fight except for when she thought I was going after her ex in hs which I was not. Since we became much closer we have always been long distance so I think it's harder to fight. We also have similar values and similar life experiences so there are too many major things to argue about. Plus when you don't see them every day you can't get annoyed.
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I have known my closest five friends since elementary/middle/ and/or high school.
Three of them live in Austin, but I only see them about once, maybe twice, a month. (They are all married with one or two kids each.) I email fairly regularly with two of them, though, and usually don't feel like we're distant. I almost never argue with these gals, and if we ever have a disagreement, I feel like we're able to work it out quickly.
Two of my gals live outside of Austin. One is about a 3-hour drive away, but I only see her maybe twice a year. We email fairly frequently, though. I can't even remember the last time we argued/disagreed.
The other friend who lives outside of Austin lives several states away. I see her once a year, if I'm lucky. Unfortunately, she almost never returns emails or phone calls. (She is married, but so far child-free.) On a rare occasion, I'll hear from her on FB. I feel like I should try harder to keep up communication with her, but it's difficult when I don't usually get much response. (And she's not just this way with me; I hear from the other gals in our "group" that they receive the same treatment.) However, when we do see each other in person, it's almost always like we've never been apart. Weird, right?
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My sister's are my closest BFFs. We are each a year apart (on my birthday we'll be 28, 29 and 30) so we grew up incredibly close.
After that I have two BFFs that kind of wax and wane. Robert is going to grad school in London right now and Christina is in a different place in her life, but I still talk to both sporadically.
I think I've always had a hard time establishing and maintaining friendships. I haven't had a "circle of friends" since HS (I don't know that I should have called that group friends anyways).
I guess my point is I have a few close people around me, but there's not much beyond that.
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Unless you count my mother, I don't have a real "BFF" girlfriend. I've had a couple of girls I'd consider my best friend at the time, in that we spend the most time together, I call her with gossip and first on the weekend, etc. However, I've never had a friend I'd call in an emergency, or cry on their shoulder. I've never had a girlfriend who I felt completely comfortable with.
I don't feel like I'm missing anything. My mother is the woman who I call when I need help, or someone to cry to, and that I'm completely comfortable around. I talk to her every day.
As adults (teenage and child years clearly excluded from this), we've never really had a fight. We've snapped at each other, and there have been times we get on each other's nerves and take some time ... but no real fights.
My BFF and I have known each other since we were 14. We have been as thick as thieves ever since. Since she moved a couple of years ago, out of state, we don't talk as much as we used to, but when we do talk, it's like we'd never left the conversation. I consider her a sister. We had fights when we were teenagers, but I think that was due more to age than anything else.
I think I can safely say there are 8 women in my life (including my sister) who I feel I could go to for anything, be it advice on serious issues, someone to celebrate with, someone to just have girl time with, or whatever. We disagree on things, we sometimes bicker, but we don't fight and we always support one another.
IMHO, the women on RHOC and RHNYC don't strike me as the kind of women who are secure enought with themselves to create and maintain sincere friendships.
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