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Vent! Family Drama (long)
This is a very wedding-heavy post, so it's more suited to the Knot boards, but you ladies are nicer and less snarky over here. 
Ok so my family is definitely not the typical family, but we are very close. My uncle is only 6 years older than I am, so he's more like a big brother to me. (My younger brother is actually closer to eight years younger than myself- my uncle and brother are closer in age than my father and my uncle.) He and his girlfriend (who is younger than me) got together around the same time that FI and I did, and they have a small daughter. When FI and I got engaged, I of course wanted their daughter, my cousin (who will be nearly three at the time of the wedding), to be the flower girl. I didn't know her mother that well, but I liked her, and seeing as she was part of the family now, I asked her to be a bridesmaid in the wedding. Before we even had our engagement party, she decided to leave my uncle and take their daughter to live with her high school boyfriend. She called me and told me about it, and asked what I wanted to do about the wedding. I told her I wasn't going to kick her out of the wedding just because she and my uncle broke up, but it was a decision that she needed to make and be comfortable with. So she decided to remain a bridesmaid, and ordered her dress with a 50% deposit.
At the end of last summer, they got back together, and everything was great. Over the holidays, she talked about wanting another baby, but that she supposed it wasn't really the right time. My uncle has two sons from previous relationships, and is not interested in more children.
Valentine's day weekend, my uncle called me to tell me she left him, again. I talked him through it, gave him my sympathies, etc. My grandmother and I have been talking to him on a pretty regular basis, helping him deal with being dumped, taking care of 2 sick kids, and moving, all at the same time. About a week later, I got a phone call from my grandmother, telling me the girl is about 7 weeks pregnant. PREGNANT!!! She got an IUD after the baby was born... you tell me. She has stopped responding to phone calls, and will only text with my grandmother. When asked if she would still be in the wedding (the bridesmaid dresses have come in, but she hasn't paid the second half and picked up her dress yet), she texted back that it depended if she could fit into the dress. The wedding is in April- she'll only be about 3 months pregnant, the dress is empire waisted, and she ordered it too big anyways. She has YET to call, text, email, or FB message me to let me know what's going on, and whether she will even be in the wedding. She has not actually told anyone whether she still intends to be in the wedding, but her dress is still sitting at the shop, not paid for. My grandmother texted her again today, and she mentioned that she didn't think she would be able to fit into the dress. Personally, I don't think that she wants to pay for the dress and its alterations (my grandmother and I paid for her daughter's flower girl dress, AND she ordered her BM dress a full month after the other girls because of funding issues, even though she knew about it for six months ahead of time). Now I've got a size six bridesmaid dress sitting at the dress shop half paid for, and a bridesmaid that doesn't have the decency to inform me of the situation, or even come out and say she doesn't want to be in the wedding which is a month away... I actually posted on FB asking if anyone could fit into a size six dress and wanted to stand in on my wedding!
On top of it- I just found out that my great grandmother (who is about as old as dirt, bless her heart) is having problems with her dog and said she isn't coming to my wedding, and my half brother says his school schedule won't allow it! How much family crap can happen in a year?!!
Sorry for such a long post, but I had to vent somewhere, it's just too much.
Re: Vent! Family Drama (long)
What the...
Okay, your uncle's gf or whatever she is is totally unbalanced. Good riddance to her, a lamp post would serve you better as a BM. Just consider that a scratch. Don't worry about the dress or the details. Let your MOH worry about that.
So you're one person short in the bridal party. It's okay. Have 2 GM to 1 BM when they walk back down the aisle. No big deal.
Your grandmother probably is freaking out and ask your sister/mom/dad whomever to talk to her about the situation. And they need to address that situation with your half-brother too. That is totally unacceptable, IMO. He can make arrangements with his teachers and school to miss 1 day for your wedding.
I pretty much agree with everything Punky said. Write off your uncle's gf and just stop dealing with it. It's no big deal if you have an uneven number of attendants on each side. Don't stress yourself out about people that, frankly, just aren't worth it.
As for your family members--I agree, totally unacceptable. Neither excuse is valid IMO and someone (probably the people Punky suggested) needs to beat some sense into them.
Thanks for the reality check! I talked to my best friend from college, who was not asked to be a bridesmaid because she lived far away, and was super tight on money, and had enough of her own problems that I didn't want to burden her with all the wedding drama. At this point, the wedding is just waiting to happen, and she's had some major life changes (for the better, yay!). She has volunteered to step in, because the dress is her size, and she'll be here for everything anyways. We will split the remaining cost of the dress.
As for "baby momma" as I have decided to call her because that's all she deserves, I have washed my hands of her, I'm done. My grandmother asked if she should text the girl that I filled her spot, and I told her don't bother making an effort for her. If she asks you, obviously tell her, but there is no need for you to go out of your way when she can't even speak to you on the phone, or make contact with me in any way. I hope she doesn't call me and ask for her 50% dress deposit back (the money she originally paid so the dress would be ordered), because I don't think I am nice enough to say anything decent to her. The dress shop would not have refunded her the money, so why should I? (Is that too harsh?)
My grandmother is trying to get my great-grandmother (her mother) to come to the wedding anyways, but she lives in Pennsylvania, the wedding is in Georgia, and she's not a fan of travel to begin with. I think if all this with the dog blows over soon, she will end up coming. But my half brother lives in Texas, and I dunno that there is anyone who can persuade him. He is not close with my father (his father), and really doesn't even know the rest of my family. It's only he and I that are close. But maybe a phone call from my dad will make him see how much it means to me...
Again, thanks for the wake-up call! My stress level is already about half of what it was before.
As others have said no need to get too stressed out over things that are ultimately out of your control, and it seems like you're doing just that!
I understand your dilemma with family members though. FWIW, DH's grandma wasn't able to make it to our wedding and she was local, she was just having a "bad day", she's 94 and understandably has health problems. We were definitely disappointed, as she's the only living grandparent either of us have. If she would have come, she definitely would have been uncomfortable if not in pain which we didn't want.
Perhaps the "dog" is a front for something similar for your great-grandma?
LMAO at this.