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Dear MIL - a vent
Dear MIL - I realize that DH grew up an only child and that your extended family is really involved in eachothers' business. I get that and I am not arguing with your methods. It is what it is. However, just because DH grew up going to his cousins dance recitals, choir concerts, skating competitions, band concerts, soccer games, plays, swim meets, religious rites of passage, birthdays, etc. etc. etc doesn't mean that it can and will continue forever.
Hubby and I are happy to participate birthdays and milestone events. We are happy to emotionally support all the endeavors your family participates in. However, your extended family is crazy busy - so are we! I work 2 jobs, Hubby and I own a company so that technically makes it 3 jobs for me and 2 for DH. We're remodeling our house. Our dog shreds/eats full toilet paper rolls on the sly if we don't get her for a walk every other day at least and pay her oodles of attention the rest of the time. We accomplish in 3 evenings and 1 weekend day (if we're lucky) what most folks have a full week to do.
Please please please don't guilt DH into things because YOU want him to go. I can guarantee that his cousins won't even know if we're there or not, nor do they care. They're happy to see us if we're there and won't miss us if we're not. We will be there for things but please understand that you don't have a monopoly on your son's time anymore. You're trying to put the blame on "the family" when we all know it is really about your need to feel like you still have some sort of control in your son's life.
You make him feel like he's stuck between you and me and that isn't fair to him. You need to be prepared to hear "no" more often. I'm sorry if that makes you sad but there are new priorities for him (not just to me, but to other things he's commited to taking on) and you need to come to terms with that. Of course we'll attend family events as evenly as possible between my family and yours. Of course we'll still encourage and support the younger members of your extended family. But we need you to support us too.
Vent done. I feel better already.
Re: Dear MIL - a vent
Dear Wittys,
My DH is also an only child and his mother is a nut case. Even if your MIL is not a true nut case she is probably over bearing. I feel your pain.
Sincerly
Witchys