One-sided Friendship(s)?

Divallyn · March 2010

Just wondering if any of you feel that your in a friendship that is completely one-sided. Every time you get together its at your suggestion? You put in the effort and don't really get it back? If so, how do you handle it? Do you accept it?

Melozia · March 2010

I definitely have had friendships like that in the past. I used to think it was a reflection of how little I knew how to be a friend. Now, after ctting alot of those people ot of my life, I realize it was an indicator of how GOOD a friend I am! I have to say, though, there is so much less stress now that I know I don't have to carry around the worries that come with bad friendships like that. Plus, now I can invest that energy in the other relationships I have in my life.

ring_pop · March 2010

I did. Well, she and I both used to call each other up, but then I noticed that every time we made a date, she rescheduled me 3-4 times before it actually happened because something always came up. I realized that I was pretty low on her priority list, so I started avoiding her.

Finally, she called me out on it and I basically broke up with her - I told her that I was sick of being a low priority for her. She didn't take it well and didn't really see my point, but in any case, we don't see each other anymore.

It felt like a messy breakup, and it's still super awkward when we see each other sometimes at mutual friends' GTGs. But I have to agree with Mel - cutting out that stress of dealing with her otherwise was worth it.

Kriz_b · March 2010

I had one. We went to highschool together so I never noticed the onesided-ness. After highschool I moved an hour away. In the 9 years since I left highschool I can honestly say she's only made the trip to see me 3, maybe 4 times. (one of those times she came and spent the night because she was taking the bus home from toronto and there wasn't a connecting bus from here to her place that late.) I have lost count how many time's I've been to her house. It slowly became a once every 3 months, now maybe twice a year that I go see her and her family.

She stopped even contacting me around my wedding. Every time we would make plans she would back out at the last minute or not even keep me informed of stuff. She honestly thought she would be my MOH, or at least in the wedding. Well, I needed someone who was a bit more reliable to be in my wedding and who would make an effort. So she wasn't asked. And now she doesn't email/call or text me. I know I should give up and not bother, but I know her mom loves when I come to visit. Whatever, it's only twice a year.

CBL · March 2010

For sure. I have a friend who was bringing me dinner three times when I was on bed rest and canceled. That meant my husband was already at work and I had no dinner that night! She lives 10-15 minutes away and visited me once during three months of bed rest and has yet to meet Gavin - he's 10 weeks! She always send emails saying she wants to come and I just tell her when I'm free and never hear back.

Time to cut her loose!

Jen&Joe06 · March 2010

Like Amy I have a friend who has yet to meet Ben. Not just a random friend either, someone I would consider to be a very good friend. I was pissed for awhile about it but I am not anymore. I realize that we are both busy in life right now and that this is just a blip in the radar. So I continue to be the one to email her and whatnot....I will re-evaluate if things don't go back to normal when things settle down for her.

happy_un-bride · March 2010

Not really... I don't have a lot of friends... probably becasue we're all to lazy to be the initiator in a one sided friendship.

FemmeNat01 · March 2010

I have had a bunch of these "friendships".

One girl, we are no longer friends. I was fed up with her. I gave up, she never tried, and eventually, it all died down.

I never accept it. When it happens, I talk to them. I tell them straight up what is going on and how I feel. They can either choose to change or not.

chanteltbarrett · March 2010

Absolutely. I have just stopped asking her to get together. If she makes an effort to call me (which might be once every six months), I'll do something. I was sick of putting in all the effort.

One-sided Friendship(s)?

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