October 2009 Weddings
2dBride
member
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
One of the things I'm grateful for right now...
One of the things I'm grateful for right now is the tradition in my family of how to handle children's weddings. What my parents did with my first wedding was to give me a large, and early, cash wedding present. I was then free to elope and keep it all, have a moderate wedding and use some of it for other things, or blow it all on a more lavish wedding.
That meant two things. First, there wasn't the sexist assumption that the wedding is just for the bride. (My brother got the same amount as my sister and me.) Second, it meant that there really weren't any battles along the way. I could have whatever type of wedding I wanted, but the financial consequences of my decisions would not affect them.
Having seen on these boards all the brides who feel like they are being pulled six directions at once by their families and the groom's family, I am very happy to have such an easy out. I'll be happy to help my son and his fiancee with tips if they want them. (And heaven knows I did a lot of research in the course of planning my own wedding!) However, if they want to run off to Vegas and get married by Elvis, or have a nude wedding, or have a wedding much more extravagant than I could afford, that's their decision, and I just don't have to worry about it.
Re: One of the things I'm grateful for right now...
That is a wonderful way to handle things! I am putting that in my memory reserve for my future children.
My parents handled things similarly, in that they told us from the get-go that they would handle the catering, since that would likely be one of our biggest expenses. Everything else we wanted was up to us to pay for. It made budgeting really easy, and we really appreciated having such a huge chunk of our wedding costs covered. I think the key to peaceful wedding planning is having everything laid out before any money is spent so there aren't any hurt feelings/arguments later on.
pinterest
We did much the same...paid the catering bill and everything that had to do with Heather's outfit for the day. As a gift, we gave them a week to trade with our timeshare on RCI. We also gave them the money with no opinions
They picked the caterer, menu, everything. I was along for the tasting...and loved everything, so it was easy.
We also offered her the lump sum in cash if they wanted to go a different way...Vegas, courthouse, although I'm not sure about the nudie
That is a great way to do things, and definitely sounds like it will reduce the stress on both the couple and the family. I am thankful my parents did something similar and were very upfront from the beginning, so we had no money disagreements later on.
Congrats to your son and his FI!