October 2009 Weddings
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
i need better friends
Mike and I want to go out and do things with other couples but I feel like no one wants to put in the effort to get together except for us. It is sooo frustrating! We invite people to do things all the time and they say they will, but then the day comes and they are busy, even when we planned it! Mike and I always go to things that people invite us to, and we don't jump out last minute. I have some friends that will only hang out with us if we drive 45 minutes to see them, but if we ask them to come down to see us, they wont. They've only been to our house once in the past 3 yrs and we go to their house all the time. Its ridiculous. I need better friends and I dont know where to find them. SOO frustrating!!
Re: i need better friends
DH I and I have been having a similar problem. It seems to have started when we got engaged: no one even calls us to try to get together and barely returns our phone calls. I honestly believe they are happy to see us when they do and we all have a good time, but DH and I are making al the effort and I'm getting really sick of it. Unfortunately, I don't have a solution for you, since we are in the same boat...
Knitting Blog
Updated 3-12
@dvshaw: I know what you mean. I didn't grow up here and was already graduated high school when I got here and I found it extremely hard to make friends since I grew up in a small town and everyone was just kinda already friends. We hang out with a lot of The Mr's friends from high school which was odd at first but now since they have wifes and gf's etc i'm not the odd man out anymore. I'm finally fitting in with people i've met from work though and we hang out off and on.
But can't believe we're all in the same boat. It's to bad we didn't all live closer to each other. We've been having so much trouble getting people to do anything anymore. We hang out with this one single friend all the time since he's the only one that seems to want to do anything. We have a couple of married friends we used to hang out with fairly regularly but one couple just had a baby and the other are flakes. They are in on the plans until about an hour before and then they just bail. Like tonight for example we were all going to go swimming and they were all good about 3 hours before, then just as we were about to go the wife texts The Mr. and says sorry but we think we have food poisioning. Like, really...in the last 3 hours you've gotten food poisoning. It's so frustraiting. We don't even feel like calling them anymore.
We're completely in the same situation... wish we all lived in the same town!
Neither DH nor I grew up here... we went to college together in a town about a 45 minute drive from where we are now. Our college friends either stayed there or moved really far away. We don't have anybody nearby, so nothing can be spontaneous. We see some on "holidays" like the Super Bowl or weddings, but not regularly. I keep telling DH that we need friends but he says they're too much work.
Haha! Sometimes I wish we had friends, but I guess if it's meant to be, we would. We just joined a dog park, so I guess I'm a little hopeful that we might meet a nice couple there.
It's so akward to find friends. Especially for us, because we never do anything... we don't go out or go to bars or anywhere like that. The most we do is go to a movie once a month.
::Sigh:: Oh well.
My Blog!
In our 30 years, we have lived in 6 different states...so we moved a lot. In ur first home as newlyweds, we lived on a block in Chicago tha was very active. People sat out on their stoops every evening,the kids played in the street and they came over to get us and welcome us. That stuck with me. So, after that every time we moved, I took the initiative. I went out to people that lived around us. I met my best friend that way
When we had kids it was easier when they hit kindergarten. You meet ALL the parents through the kids! My closest friend here moved to Washington DC into a new neighborhood in November. She had a Christmas party and sent invites to everyone around her, even though she had not met them...just put invites in mailboxes. People were THRILLED because they were looking for the same thing and didn't have the gumption to do it.
It's worth a try!
I live in a DC suburb and I would be SO thrilled if I received in invite like this! People keep to themselves so much here, I had a hard time adjusting after moving here from my small town in Vermont!
DH and I totally lucked out when we moved into our current building. It is a small, 6 unit building and the two couples who live in the units upstairs from us are THE BEST and we have become very, very close to them. We hang out pretty much every weekend, have meals together regularly...it was SO great during the snowstorm we had.
Before moving here, the friends I met were through my first job, where everyone was young (that is where KatieintheCity and I met
), and made quite a few of my really good friends there. And I've gotten close to some of DH's friends, but I feel like they will always be "his friends." Luckily, I get along great with DH's family and his SIL and I are best friends.
It is definitely not as easy to find friends once you are out of school...and I had plenty of very lonely nights/weekends wishing I had people to hang out with. It took me awhile to build up my friend group, and I've had to drop a few along the way, but I think I've got some wonderful people around me. So stay strong!
pinterest
We're in the same situation too.
We tried doing stuff with my cousin and her husband back before the whole wedding mess but they were rediculously embarassing. My cousin actually made the hostes at the restaurant cry.
We were doing stuff with DH's friend, Ash, for a while but then he and his GF broke up and he got with a new girl that didn't want anything to do with us. He kept making plans with us then waiting till we had driven an hour out of our way and sat in the parking lot for 20 min waiting for them to call and say "oh... we can't come."
DH and I are in the same situation. The some of the friends that we do have also have 1 yr olds, but its really hard to get together with them. But as far as couples with out kids we dont have any and we really need other couples to hang out with. I have plenty of babysitters its just that no one wants to hang out or they are too busy. It SUCKS!!!!
Too bad we live 3 hrs away otherwise we could hangout.
I feel like we're kind of in the same situation as well. I love my friends, but I wish we had a few more, especially a little closer. I feel like it's so much harder to meet people than when in high school or college. Everyone is involved with their own lives, and definitely doesn't make as much of an effort. We have neighbors and co-workers we get along with, but it's so hard to take it from chatting at the office or out on the street to actually making plans.
And I love that idea! Maybe I'll grow the cajones to do that sometime
I am really really late posting but, I feel ya!! it sucks we do the same thing always go to friends but they never come see us:( not even family comes over.... makes me thing out place sinks or something, just kidding but seriously what is up with people?!?!