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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
BR: mamas - thoughts?
I just read this thread, and I think it's full of a lot of good advice (not that I know from experience yet lol). Is there anything there that you'd agree with/disagree with/add to? I'd love to hear your advice!
Re: BR: mamas - thoughts?
I'm crying my eyes out right now reading that post. I feel so much better knowing that I'm not the only one who feels all of these things and the fact that I'm not feeling much joy right now doesn't mean that I won't ever. you hear all of this before u give birth but reading this while ur going through it is golden. Pregnant girls SAVE THIS POST!
Thanks for the link Lisa
I wholeheartedly agree with that thread... esp the part about the baby blues. I always thought that baby blues = PPD but did not realize that they are different...and that most women get the baby blues. i had a very bad case of the baby blues and thought it might be PPD until i talked to someone who had PPD. but i was tired, stressed, and overwhelmed and to top it off i was crying every day until just before I hit 3 wks post partum... even little thing set me off... DH would make some kind of joke at me and i would start crying!! and then one day i just felt normal again, it was so weird.
hang in there, Julie! it DOES get better
but those first few weeks are soooooo hard, you are really just in survival mode. you'll turn a corner soon 
Jaime & Brent
Oahu, Hawaii | Sept. 9, 2005
My Food Blog - Good Eats 'n Sweet Treats
I totally agree! Even though our babies aren't here yet, I'm TERRIFIED that I won't be one of those happy, in love moms for the first few weeks. I know I don't deal well with sleep deprivation, I'm not a natural with children, and even now I sometimes think to myself, "OMG...what have we done..." I can only imagine that this will get worse after they're born, and I know I'll probably break down into tears more often than I'd like to think.
It makes me feel SO much better to know that I'm not alone. It seems like people only talk about how wonderful life is, how much they love their child, etc. - and although I know that these things are totally true, at the same time I really appreciate it when people are honest about the challenges (especially emotional) that they have to deal with as well.
I think as women we feel this immense pressure to be The Perfect Mom who is happy all the time. I know I never, EVER heard a single negative story from my mother about dealing with a newborn. Even now when she talks to me about it, she will only ever mention how in love she was with all of us from the very first second and how much she enjoyed having us as babies. And it's not that I disbelieve her (especially since she's a mega baby person), but I know that it can't have been all puppies and rainbows either...but she would never admit this because that would make her a "bad" mother.
This x1000!
And this...
The first three weeks are definitely the hardest. You will wonder why on earth you wanted to get pregnant and have kids in the first place. But then everything seems to fall into place. It really gets easier everyday.
Also, you will at times feel helpless, even if you have the best baby ever. He or she will cry and there will be times that you can't figure out why and you'll feel horrible.
TTC/PG Blog | Mommy Blog
TTC/PG Blog | Mommy Blog
I agree with so much of that post.
Another thing I would also add is that it's normal not to fall madly in love with your child the second you hold them. It's ok to be scared of them and be uncomfortable holding them.
One of my good friends warned me that when your milk comes in you will have a flood of hormones. Our friends call it the "5 Day Cry". I remember sitting in Elyse's room sobbing wondering what we'd done. I'm so lucky that my mom and doula were there to hug me and tell me I was doing great.
Married Bio
it does...sort of
for me, in the beginning, time seemed to go by soooooo slow. i would dread the sun setting b/c i knew night time was upon is and i would have to deal with yet another night of struggling to get up, nurse, and get her back to sleep. i'd stress about going to sleep b/c i knew i'd barely be asleep before she would wake me. now that she is older and sleeping better, and doing more than just eating and going right back to sleep, the time is going by soooo fast. i feel like just yesterday i was snapping her 3 month pics and now she is already over 4 months!! so for me, it took a while for me to really feel like time was going by "so fast" like everyone says
so to all the new mamas, don't feel bad if you don't feel like things are going "so fast" at the beginning, either!
Jaime & Brent
Oahu, Hawaii | Sept. 9, 2005
My Food Blog - Good Eats 'n Sweet Treats
I totally agree. I'm grateful that I have experience with babies, but being a NICU nurse gave me the expectation that all babies wake up to eat and then go right back to sleep. Not mine! However, she has now been in her bouncer for ONE HOUR! She even woke up a couple times and went back to sleep. The heavens opened up and the angels are singing!
Also, accept any help you can get. When my BFF was here, I didn't wanna wake her up in the middle of the night to help me with the baby but I should have because I was so frustrated that I couldn't get Kaya to stop crying. And my BFF told me I should have gotten her up because she was there to help. When I was pregnant, I totally thought I wouldn't want help but now I really wish we had family and friends nearby.
This is totally me. I am so glad the sun is setting later now. I stress about getting her to sleep in the first place...I really want her to get to bed earlier and get up earlier but if we're up before noon, we're lucky.
I totally agree..especially on the lack of sleep. The first week I was running on adrenaline that I didn't realize the wall that was about to slap me in the face that 8th day!
Also, as you may or may not have noticed, I don't have time for anything that has to do with me. I lurk on here but don't post as often, I've put off getting my hair cut/highlighter for months, I check my email but often don't have time to respond. I think it has been harder since I don't have family here with me to help. Adam has been down and out since Friday with a sore back so I have been doing EVERYTHING!! Ahh..this is the first time in days that I've any me time....so my point of this long winded answer...help! I thought I would want to do this all by myself, but I really want help some days from my mommy
Yes... Me too. The teacher in my mommy/baby yoga class a few weeks back asked what we mommies do for ourselves... I said, does it count that I take a shower every day? I seriously feel like my DAILY SHOWER is the only time I really have to myself. Love my showers. :-)
Malia & Dave & Alexa
Happily married since 2-17-08! Three since 9-9-09!
Baby Blog
This was me too. I would be in a near panic as the sun would set since I knew the hardest part of the day was ahead AND I was already ass-dragging by 6 pm from the night before. It lasted about 5 weeks...the worst was at 4 weeks when I was SO exhausted and emotionally spent I dropped Libby at 2 am. Ugh.
TTC/PG Blog | Mommy Blog
Oh yeah, I remember that! I'd just be looking at Libby and tears would stream down my face. I don't remember feeling sad, just overwhelmed and not always in a bad way...sometimes I was overwhelmed with joy....or love...and others it was...fear...worry...exhaustion...frustration. Whatever emotion I was feeling, it was overwhelming...good, bad and ugly. It lasted about 10 days.
TTC/PG Blog | Mommy Blog