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Invitation tackiness?

So we just got an invite to the 1st birthday party for the daughter of our friends (they are the first set of friends in our circle to have a child)... but this is what was paper clipped to the invite:

"Our daughter is fortunate enough to have a house overflowing with toys and drawers bursting with clothes. Therefore we respectfully request that for her first birthday, any generosity shown towards her as a birthday gift be in the form of a contribution towards her college education. You can never start saving too early! Thank you ad we look forward to celebrating with you!"

 Now we werent going to be able to go to the party because we are on vacation the week of the party... but jeez $$$ fishing? Really? Its a fist birthday, and while I like to buys clothes and toys for little kids (fills my mommy needs), I would normally only spend $25-$30. But to just give a savings bond for that amount.... i feel cheap! 

 

What do you ladies think?

Re: Invitation tackiness?

  • yeah, I would never do that... super tacky IMO.

  • Yes I would never ask or assume people will bring gifts for my child.

    My friends kids have tons of toys and crap. Last year her and her son thought it would be cool to ask his guests to come and celebrate but bring dog food so they could donate it to local shelters since he loves dogs so much. It worked out very well.

    Took 2 years & 8 months to make our baby! Lilypie First Birthday tickers
  • Why does there need to be an alternative given at all? Why not just say, "Our child is fortunate to have plenty of toys. All we request is the pleasure of your company"

    I think donating dog food is a neat idea, it still creates the assumption that people need to spend money to join in the party.

  • yeah- I dont like that...I dont mind the donation of dog food- dont know why since I see the point that it's assuming someone would bring a gift- but it doesnt bother me as much
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  • wow, talk about tacky.

    i would totally buy the loudest most annoying toy ever and give that as a gift- but that's just me lol

    we've talked about michael's big 1st b-day party coming up and we are agreed that we will note on the invites: The only gift we request is the gift of your presence to celebrate Michaels special day!

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  • Yea - to me, it assumes that attendees are going to give a large sum of money, or spend a ton of money of gifts... Like I said, I think a $25 present of toys/clothes is a LOT different than a $25 savings bond.... you know what I mean?
  • I was just invited to a birthday where the parents simply said they didn't have the room for any more presents and that the best present would be to just show up and celebrate.  I think that would have been more appropriate than asking for a savings bond for college. 
  • I can see where the family is coming from...who goes to a birthday party empty handed?
  • imageSeptemberBride'08:

    Yes I would never ask or assume people will bring gifts for my child.

    My friends kids have tons of toys and crap. Last year her and her son thought it would be cool to ask his guests to come and celebrate but bring dog food so they could donate it to local shelters since he loves dogs so much. It worked out very well.

    My sister started doing this for my nephew.  Two years ago she asked everyone to bring a book to donate and then last year she did the dog food thing.  They took a picture of Z with all the food before it was donated and it was amazing how much was collected. 

  • WOW.. that is super tacky. I'd send a $5 bill
    Melissa & Jeff 5-27-06
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  • Wow. Just don't write anything or just write how you prefer no gifts, but don't put another gift option in there for cripes sake.
  • Okay - So now that Ive gotten allof your agreement that its pretty tacky... What should I do for a gift?

     

    I can't go to the party because Ill be on vacation,  but these are good friends of ours. Do I:

    1: Since I'm not going, give nothing? 

    2: Send a card and no gift?

    3: Send a card and savings bond? (no cash -  I dont want parents to spend it)

    If option 3, how much money do I put in as a gift for the husband and I? 

    a. $25

    b. $50

  • I would do a card and a savings bond for 25, especially if that's all you were planning to spend on a gift.  I wouldn't sweat it too much...  they were the ones who were super tacky about it!
  • I'm terrible about gift giving especially since I prefer to spend money on myself and not other people, so.... I'd skip sending anything at all if I weren't super duper close to the family (a one year old doesn't care about cards, yanno??).  BUT, I think the preferred Nestie response would be to send a card.  $50 is insane, IMHO, I think $25 is really, really, really generous.  If this kids closets are overflowing as much as they say they are, then it won't hurt the family or the kid to just get $25 (really, in my family $20 from 1 years old to 18 years old is customary for bday and Christmas).
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