Sex & Romance
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Re: Does your SO watch porn without you?
I dont have the type of relationship where we "let" each other do things (this is indicated by your title "can" insinuating someone is allowing the other person to do something)
I would be iffy about it if he were just in the other room watching it (if I wanted to join or wasnt given the option). But if he is gone on business and watching it, NDB
I changed my name
Yeah. I guess I'm also looking to see how it works in other peoples relationships.
Long story short when we were first dating I was totally okay with it - didn't even give it a second thought. 5 years or so ago I moved temporarily to another city and we did long distance for a year. We made movies when together so that we could watch them when we missed each other's contact. One night he brought it up that he didn't watch porn anymore - that all he used and would ever use was our movies. I told him we didn't need to go there, it was okay - he didn't need to tell me anything like that or make any sort of promises. He INSISTED it was the truth.
I moved home 2 months later and within the first night saw recent porn on the computer (christ bud - delete the history! I found myfreepaysite when typing in myspace lol). I was more upset that he had just flat out lied about it. He again insisted he wouldn't watch it - while I told him again not to make such a promise.
Since then every so often I find it and every so often we have a fight about it. I've made him tell me that he won't promise not to watch it and just to keep it out of my view. I really don't think he does it that often only because we have the same schedule and the computers in our open livingroom.
I now go back and forth on the subject because part of me feels that it's natural and "whatever everybody does it." While the other part of me feels hurt because he's getting off to other women. Not to mention the things they can do - that I can't compete with! lol
Also, I should have stated the sub. to be "*Does* your SO watch porn without you?"
BFP on Jan. 18; EDD Oct. 1
I used to be a snooper and check my DH's internet history because I wanted to know what he was looking at all the time. It led to some major insecurities and on my part and I hated the way it made me feel, so for me, it is better to not know when he does it. I am satisfied knowing he's not into anything out of the ordinary that would concern me and I understand that men are visual creatures.
That being said, we have had discussions about it because I am fine with it as long as it doesn't affect our sex life together. If he gets some alone action before I get home from work and isn't interested in sex with me later that night, I don't think that's alright.
I had a friend go through the same thing. She was really hurt because he had a low sex drive with her. And he promised he never did. A couple months after marriage she found out and was so upset.
I don't think my H does it too much. I've never caught him or seen it on the computer. But he could just be smart about it...lol! He says he doesn't. I know a lot of guys do. Our pastor just spoke on porn last week. And they had guys tell their story about how it changed their life or some even led to adultery. Or just that they were no longer satisfied by their wife alone. I know those are extreme circumstances. I just would hope that my H can be satisfied by me alone and not need to look at other women. If he was looking at porn a lot I would wonder what was really going on in his head while we were having sex.
Yeah, I don't think your issue is that he watches porn. Your issue is he is a liar. Seriously, what was the point of him lying about that? Not that there is ever a justified reason to lie.
agree 100%
for me, as long as it doesn't affect OUR sex life, i say go for it!
Interesting...
Some of the PP mentioned *letting* their husbands etc...but you'd be surprised, for some women it's a total deal breaker! I wish more of the "no way!" ppl spoke up.
Do pp who are okay with it know when DH does it? I mean does he delete history etc?
and yeah it was definitely more that he had lied more than the porn. I think at the time he wanted it to be the truth - we were in a deep lovey dovey stage of our relationship.
Yeah. same here.
The lying part I would not like.
My H watches it. He likes porn and not just to satisfy himself. I do not mind. He drives a truck so he is gone a lot and I do not mind that he resorts to porn.
This is exactly how I feel.
I don't think DH watches porn but I am in a situation right now where is masturbates daily and does not seem to initiate sex much anymore.
It hurts that he takes care of himself when I am available.