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How would you handle this
Easter has me really, really and I mean really upset.
As I have stressed before family and being with them on Holidays has always just been " the way it is ". It's a given you get together have a bbq, hang out and just have fun.
This being Lo's 2nd Easter but really 1st where she can walk, and find all the pretty colored eggs, just isn't going to happen with us being here.
It makes my heart because I want her to experience it and have fun and us to have those memories.
I have a picture of me when I was little with all my ugly curls, my pretty yellow easter dress, and lace socks with my easter basket.
I don't know how to express this to Joe without making him feel worse, but it makes me resent him so much more that he has blown smoke up my ass for a year and we're still here, where no one gives a *** about us.
Do I just need to get over it?
Help. Please.
Re: How would you handle this
I don't think this is something you can just get over. I'm a little more family oriented than Daniel mainly because my family was pretty close. His can be, but they don't seem to really go out of their way for each other. So, I kind of understand where you're coming from. We don't have kids yet, but when we do I know moving closer to our parents( well.. mainly mine.. lol) is going to be soooo important to me. I want our child(ren) to know their grandparents, aunts and uncles and their potential cousins. I just can't imagine it any other way.
As for how to approach this topic with him, I'm not sure. Daniel has finally gotten it into his head that we are likely to move back down south in the next few years, but that has been after me repeating that I want to be near our families when we have kids, etc. I'm sorry you have to deal with this.
I know it won't be the same, but maybe you can find a local easter egg hunt in the area. I know where we are there are a bunch and I'll be taking my friends and their daughter to experience it.
I know exactly what you mean, I could really share some stories with you of my ex-MIL!
The best thing I can tell you is to make your own memories. Yes, you still have your family and I hope and pray for you that you will get to be closer to them BUT you've got to make these holidays special for Lo too. For instance, our tradition is to go out for Brunch on Easter- not traditional I know- BUT it is our tradition now and my son (with my ex) is really looking forward to it. We did this 2 years ago and my mom will be joining us this time along with the baby of course. It is hard -- I am 250 miles away from family here too BUT I have to do it for me and them because a depressed mama isn't good for anyone
Thanks girls I'm really not trying to be a baby, but seeing how much fun Loela had with her cousins, her aunt (my sissy of course) and Granny just broke my heart getting back on the plane coming back here.
I literally sat on the plane 1/2 the time with tears in my eyes (and now) because I want more for her.
Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh and not to mention when we came back to work on Monday I talked to his aunt (the one that works with me)......She wanted to know why we weren't at the baby shower.
I have one of his cousins as a friend on FB. Well she had it posted every day about being back here in Corpus, getting things ready for a shower ( I put two and two together, this was for the shotgun wedding back in Sept). Kept my mouth shut didn't say anything to Joe because I didn't know for sure.
Anyway. Yep they had her Baby Shower - we were not invited.
Joe was PISSED !!!!!
Just another instance of us not being included in JACK.
Yeah I def agree with making your own memories.. start some tradition that you, dh and lo can do together,I am a girl that strongly believes in making special memories, traditions, etc around the holidays. Even if it's just the 3 of you!
Im so sorry =( I agree with making your own traditions too! Do you guys go to chuch out there? Do they have an easter egg hunt?
Why are you guys still there?
I can kind of relate to how you feel. My family makes a BIG deal out of EVERY holiday. Art's family doesn't do much. I get upset all the time because they are so lame. I want to live near my family. I miss having all the big holiday events.
I know once the kids come I will even get more upset. I think you should dye easter eggs with Lo, dress her up etc. Even if you can't be with your family make traditions with her. Do a little Easter egg hunt for her. It sucks being so far away from family, but try to make the best of it.
I hope you get to move near your family soon. I just wish my family would move near me...I have NO desire to live in the snow...but I would love to live close to them.
Aww honey I'm sorry
Holidays are important no matter who you are!
And family doesn't have to be blood relatives ya know?! I've got friends that are closer to me than my family and that's ok. I didn't have a lot of close cousins growing up because both my parents are the younger siblings and my cousins are waaay older except for 1 of my cousins on my moms side, she's about 5 years older than I am but we were always close - like sisters - I didn't have that with my other cousins cause a lot of them were almost teens when I was born - big age difference and sadly, my kids wont have close cousins cause of my jail-bird brother and lesbian SIL. But my friends are starting to have kids and they'll be closer to my kids age - well depending on when we get around to that - but that's probably who they'll end up close to. So they won't be actual cousins, but they'll be close enough ya know?
Maybe you guys can start your own traditions for the holidays where you can't be with your family so that it'll still be special for you guys.
And hey, there's always that option of having lots of kids so Lo won't be alone
This is what I was going to suggest. Most churches put on Easter egg hunts. The three of you should get dressed up and go to church and maybe out to bruch afterwards. I 'm sure it's really hard to be away from your family, but I think you need to make the best of it because you will never get these days back with Lo. If Joes family doesn't want to be apart of these specail times, their choice, too bad, real sad. I don't think the fact that they don't want to make a big deal out of the holiday shoud deter what the three of you do as a family.
I agree. It's hard to be away from family but you have to make your own memories. I'm going on 8 years away from family and this is my home now. We get together when we can and otherwise Paul and Dex and I create our own holidays.
I agree with the gals...make the holiday your own. Don't get angry about Lo missing out, just try to figure out ways for your family - you, Joe and Loela to spend the holidays. Just make Loela happy no matter what you do for your sake. ;-)
i'm sorry, i can't imagine how hard the holidays are for you being far from your family. my family is here, but is really, really small. TJ, on the other hand, has a huge family and i know he misses them and their holiday traditions.
i have some friends who have kids and they are like an extended family. i think that as our kids get older, we will do things like Easter egg hunts and all. can you befriend some of the families from Lo's daycare or other little ones in your neighborhood that you can do these things with?
I'm sorry that you're so frustrated with this. I have seen your posts about it but I'm not sure I understand. What is it that you and Joe will do with his family for Easter? Why isn't it possible for Lo to have the experience you want her to have AND spend time with his family? Are you sure you can't do both? You can give Lo the experience you want her to have anywhere. How willing are you to do things a little differently? It may not be near your family but you can still have a good experience for her, even if its on Saturday, not Easter Sunday. I'm sure there are local Easter egg hunts and something fun you and Joe can do with her. I'm not going to say that you should get over it but I think you can make the best out of the situation with some effort.
~~~MARRIED BIO~~~