Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
WWYD?
Backstory: I'm 23 and I graduated with my Master's last May. I've been working full time ever since my freshman year of college and I've always taken the sensible route - work, make money, move forward, buy a house, etc. I missed an opportunity to study abroad and it bums me out.
WWYD?
Say you have $3500 extra to play with.
Would you: Apply to a summer program in Montreal (because Europe is not affordable at this point - want to do something smaller scale) - take classes & live in a studio apartment for 7 weeks. It's 6 hours from home, husband can come up and visit whenever he wants. In the meantime, I get to fulfill what I wanted to do on a smaller scale, and since I'm a teacher I have that paid time off during the summer to do what I want.
OR:
Take that $3500, use $1200 of it toward painting the downstairs of our house, leaving $2300, and take a tropical vacation for 5 days? Then sit on my ass for the rest of my summer vacation and do nothing. (Because either way, I have no intention of working during the summer for the first time ever!)
Dx: MFI, unexplained recurrent miscarriages
IVF w/ICSI #1 (December 2010): m/c at 6w4d
IVF w/ICSI #2 (April 2011): c/p
FET #1 (July 2011): m/c at 7w3d
IVF w/ICSI #3 (October 2011- new clinic): BFP.
Lainey was born on June 13, 2012 via c-section at 37w3d!
Re: WWYD?
That's a toughie. Honestly if it were me, I would do Option #2, but that's just because I did study abroad and I want to go on a tropical vacation pretty much more than anything right now.
Coming from your perspective though, it sounds like an awesome opportunity. It kind of reminds me of Pam moving to NY for a few months. I guess there are a bunch of things to consider though: Will you be lonely? Is it worth being away from C for that long? Would he drive up or would he have to fly? Personally, I just wouldn't want to be away from home for that long by myself. But if you think that taking classes there would fulfill your dream of studying abroad and you'd regret it if you didn't go, then I say go for it.
I don't think I'd be lonely. I have a friend who will also be there for the summer, and I'd like to think that I'm pretty good at making new friends. The class I want to take is M-F, 9-4 so I'd have little downtime during the week. C could drive up whenever he wants. It's a pretty easy drive from where we are. Plus I have one weekend I'd have to come home for a bridal shower anyway We spend every waking second together that we can as it is right now, it might be good for us, I think.
I've never been away from home that long but I just kind of feel like I'm spinning my wheels lately and I have that itch to go do something spontaneous and new before it gets too late.
BTW, I never got to congratulate you and T on his placement!
Dx: MFI, unexplained recurrent miscarriages
IVF w/ICSI #1 (December 2010): m/c at 6w4d
IVF w/ICSI #2 (April 2011): c/p
FET #1 (July 2011): m/c at 7w3d
IVF w/ICSI #3 (October 2011- new clinic): BFP.
Lainey was born on June 13, 2012 via c-section at 37w3d!
I totally understand - especially before you start popping out those babies
. It sounds like you'd have plenty to do there, and if you even have a friend there that would definitely make it easier. And I have no doubt that you'd make friends and you'd have a great time and learn a lot too. It sounds like a great opportunity.
Thanks about T - we're both definitely more relaxed and less on-edge now. The past few weeks were rough, so it's nice to have more of an idea where we'll be and what we'll be able to do in the next few years. Also I saw you're having surgery soon - I'm glad you're okay. Good luck and I hope you have a speedy recovery!!
I say option #1, only because I feel like the chance for option #2 will come along more times in the future than you realize, but option #1 seems like it's a passing opportunity.
Plus, I think you'll regret once again missing the "study abroad" opportunity that you missed in college, but you won't regret not painting downstairs.
My Bio (wedding pics added 7/6)
My 101
Option 1 for 5 reasons:
1) You already seem like you regret not studying abroad. This would hopefully alleviate that regret.
2) Montreal is fun. I enjoyed it a lot when I was in my early 20s. Plus if you're living there for a while you'd get to see the historical parts and such too. And you could learn French (if you don't already know it) and say "ay" and stuff.
3) Its totally possible to have a strong marriage even with distance. Communication is key and it seems like you have that with your H. Plus you said he can come visit you sometimes. Sweet!
4) I absolutely hate painting the home. Loathe it. If you'd be hiring it out I may have a slightly different opinion, lol.
5) You'll have the rest of your life to take a 5 day tropical vacation. If you go the Canada route I would suggest taking a mini-vacation with the H though. If you're leaving it means all of the house stuff will fall on him, which can sometimes feel like a lot to bear.
BFP#2 2.5.11 (EDD 10.15.11) DS born 9.28.11 due to Pre-E
BFP#3 10.2.12 (EDD 6.12.13) MMC 11.24.12 @11.5w, had passed in 7th week
My Chart Recipe Blog
~All AL'ers welcome~
Sounds like you would rather do number 1 the way you typed.
I missed out on studying abroad as well. School and work. I wish that I would have done it but to be honest, I don't think i could anymore. If I didn't have to work summers then I would take that money and study abroad.
It sounds like you would do #1. And I do think it sounds like a great opportunity, especially since you have a friend doing the same program.
However, you asked "WWYD" and personally I think I would do the following:
1) Pass on Canada; wait until next year and do Europe
2) Take all $3500 and take a bigger/longer vacation with your H. $3500 could be 10 days in Costa Rica, etc.
3) Skip painting the house.
That is because my priorities are on travel and I could not care less about paint. I would take a better vacation with my husband, and then start saving pennies to do a summer in Europe next year.
It sounds like you're leaning towards option 1 but I would definitely do option 2. For me, I can't imagine spending that much time away from my husband. I don't really see either of us wanting to have such a major life experience like that without the other one. Granted I studied abroad in Spain one summer in college and it was amazing. But I wouldnt want to do it again now and I wouldnt want to do it in Canada. I feel like going to Canada isnt going to give you the true study abroad experience if what you want is Europe.
The fun of that trip was seeing tons of new places that I hadn't been, immersing myself in Spanish language and culture by living with a family there, travelling all over the place with new friends and partying every night. I gained so much independence on that trip because I had never been out of the country before and I went to Spain not knowing anyone. However, it was also hard and its not a situation I would want to put myself in again.
HomemadebyHolman
Follow me on Twitter
Become a Fan on Facebook
Married
I completely agree with Hawki, with the exception that I didn't get to do study abroad. I took 6 years of French and desperately wanted to do a semester in France but financially, it just wasn't an option. That said, I still wouldn't choose to spend a summer away from my husband and spend that kind of money purely on myself. It's just not me. I also don't think it would be really representative of the true "study abroad experience" to pick up and go at this point in my life even if I had the time.
That's a good point. I guess I should have mentioned that my husband is super supportive of me doing that. He's so laid back about money, and the thought of getting on an airplane to go on a vacation makes him want to vomit, so I think inside he is happy that he doesn't have to go on a plane for the rest of this year
I was surprised when he said, we can always paint the house another time - similar to what some of you guys said.
I do appreciate seeing all sides though. I think I'm leaning toward option #1. I've run it by some of my family members and some of my friends and they all think it's a good idea. I don't really see it as leaving my husband, so I don't really have that weighing on my conscience. I'm with him every single day, every free minute we have, so it will be a big adjustment for that short time period but it might be the best thing that happens to us! I love him so much for his limitless understanding and patience and support for me.
We'll see! I will keep you all posted... thank you for the insight, all of you!
Dx: MFI, unexplained recurrent miscarriages
IVF w/ICSI #1 (December 2010): m/c at 6w4d
IVF w/ICSI #2 (April 2011): c/p
FET #1 (July 2011): m/c at 7w3d
IVF w/ICSI #3 (October 2011- new clinic): BFP.
Lainey was born on June 13, 2012 via c-section at 37w3d!