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Anyone else? (a lil long)
My FI and I are close to our wedding day. We have been together for a little over 5.5 years. A few years ago he gained a lot of weight and we would go anywhere from 2 weeks - 1.5 months without having sex. He lost weight and the problem disappeared, or so I thought.
Within the last 8 months we have started going 2-3 weeks without having sex. He started a new job and works 12 hour days but he also has a lot of days off. It has gotten to the point that even when he wants to go for it I can't get worked up and don't get to "O." We have talked about it but he is happy with our sex life. He says he doesn't have a big "sex drive." It has gotten to the point that if I say anything else he gets mad because i'm "making him feel bad."
Anyone else have this kind of problem? If so, any suggestions? I feel so alone in this.
Re: Anyone else? (a lil long)
Work it out now if you can. I had an ex that was the same way. He had no sex drive and it made me feel so insecure. I tried everything! We didn't work out but are still great friends.
Maybe he has a medical problem. Or try slipping him some viagra lol
Can't wait to meet my baby boy!
So you used to have more sex, then he gained weight and you guys had less sex. He lost the weight, the frequency went up but now has returned to infrequency.
He needs a checkup because this might be a medical issue. Then if everything is ok on the physical front, you guys need to sit down and decide what to do about your sex lives. Sounds like your lack of interest is based on his lack of interest. This will create a negative feedback loop until you guys aren't having sex at all.
There is nothing wrong with a couple who chooses to have a low sex relationship, but if you just angrily/discontentedly/sulkily drift into one -- one of you will cheat. One of you will meet someone who really revs your engines and that person will feel deprived and bitter and repressed and will want out of the stultifying marriage.
So talk about it, get therapy about it and work on it now before it creates a huge problem in your relationship.
You obviously didn't read did you? She said she doesn't orgasm so obviously the quality isn't good. And just because she DOES have a good one every once in awhile doesn't make the wanting to have it more often go away or any less valid a problem.
Would eating only one really awesome meal on Monday make you any less hungry the other 6 of the week? No, you want food every day.
The quality over quantity argument is really stupid.
Yes, that quality over quantity line is just dumb.
Is he willing to try and work at it, get in the mood more? Or is he being complacent about it and accepting that this is just the way he is? Could it possibly be a medical issue?
I hope you guys sort it out before the wedding, but keep in mind that if you don't this will not miraculously change once you sign the papers and put the ring on the finger. Know that. If you accept that that is the way he is, you will be signing up for a marriage full of unsatisfactory intimacy. And yes, this is a good enough reason not to get married, if sex is something that is important to you.
GL.
Shocker. She's 19.
Ducky - Never post your age on here. People never forget. You automatically get singled out from having feelings, brain, etc. Just what I've noticed.
Young and in Love.
11.07.09
Huh? I never said my age. I said she (the girl I quoted) was 19. Not me