Sex & Romance
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loose after 2 kids???
OK so I just had my second son in January. After my first son on 2006 it was still nice and tight down there. We had sex for the first time yesterday (son number two is 9 weeks), I waited so long b/c I thought it would hurt like after my first son. Well, the pain wasn't bad at all ... because I couldn't feel it!!! I mean, of course I could feel it ... but barely and of course hubby noticed it too. He pretended that it was good but I'm not sure how it could be and I sure didn't enjoy it. I am so down about this, I am only 27 and too young for my sex life to go down the drain. Anyone have this problem? Any suggestions to fix or make it better? Kegals, walking ... anything else? First son was 7 pounds 6 oz and second was 8 pounds 2 ounces so nothing out of the ordinary. HELP!
Re: loose after 2 kids???
Try kegals.
There is also a surgical alternative you can look into but do so as a very last resort. GL.
How do you know he noticed???? Did he say something?
Ditto everyone else. Kegels and be patient. Like the others have said you are 2 months PP, give it a bit of time.
Oh and DS was 8lbs 11.5 oz, and I am fine...however the first couple of times after his birth I seemed not as tight but DH never let on that anything was different.
This. DS was 8lbs 12oz, and I had no problems.
I think you should calm down, you just had a human come through there give yourself sometime. It takes atleast 12-18 months for a womans body to heal and even then, you are never the same. I deal with another issue,my children are 10 and almost 4. Before I had them I had breast to kill for, after breastfeeding the both of them for 9 months, it did number on them. It still drives me crazy when I get dressed, when DH and I are having our moments. He doesn't treat me or them any different but I know he notices. I mean it bothers me but at the end of the day I know that I did the right thing by breastfeeding them so...
I think you should calm down, you just had a human come through there give yourself sometime. It takes atleast 12-18 months for a womans body to heal and even then, you are never the same. I deal with another issue,my children are 10 and almost 4. Before I had them I had breast to kill for, after breastfeeding the both of them for 9 months, it did number on them. It still drives me crazy when I get dressed, when DH and I are having our moments. He doesn't treat me or them any different but I know he notices. I mean it bothers me but at the end of the day I know that I did the right thing by breastfeeding them so...
I'm not a mom, so I don't have personal experience to draw from, but I think you need to give it a year to see what happenes. I don't think you need to calm down or accept that you will never be the same.
I would wait a year (with kegals) and if you are still unhappy, go in for a surgical consult.
Okay, I'm going to be honest with you. I've delivered three children, and things weren't too bad until the last one was born. He's almost 2 years old, and I've done my Kegels every day, but things will never be the same again unless I'm willing to have surgery--which I'm not. Kegels only tone one isolated ring-shaped muscle at the base of your vag, but childbirth affects the whole birth canal. I'm sure you know what I mean.
It's not the end of the world or anything; we still enjoy sex, but no, it's not the same as before three human beings passed through me. Oh well.
Let me ask yu a question- did you honestly think that it would be the same?
Let me ask yu a question- did you honestly think that it would be the same?
**Nestie Besties with Deutschefairy**
Diagnosed PCOS '03, TTC #1 Since March '09
BFP - 10/20/10, M/C - 10/29/10
June 2011 - 50mg Clomid = No O
Dieted and exercised my butt off for PCOS = BFP 5/7/2012
Due 12/29/2012
Initial breastfeeding causes the uterus to contract, which can bring it back to its normal size slightly faster. Is that what you're referring to?
Breast feeding has nothing to do with your vagina. It helps contract the uterus to help it go back it it's normal size quicker.
**Nestie Besties with Deutschefairy**
Diagnosed PCOS '03, TTC #1 Since March '09
BFP - 10/20/10, M/C - 10/29/10
June 2011 - 50mg Clomid = No O
Dieted and exercised my butt off for PCOS = BFP 5/7/2012
Due 12/29/2012
actually, i did. after my first it was the same so i figured why not be the same after two!
yeah, this would definitely be one of the things not to believe. it bfeeding affects the contractions of the UTERUS...not the vagina.
I agree with the others.
#1 Don't worry or panic yourself into a dither. #2 Your body just delivered a child.#3 Do kegals and wait a year or two to recover.
Is there something " exotic and out of the ordinary" you could plan that would divert DH's attention IF he did notice ?
Ok! Here goes girls starting at about the ages of 18, 19 still virgin?s getting married are going to be very tight the first time their husband?s have intercourse with them. It is going to hurt something awful. Even a women still a virgin at any age will be tight that first time with it hurting badly. As sexual intercourse continues their vaginas will stretch as does a rubber band because of the elasticity in it. This makes intercourse with a partner much more enjoyable. In all ? their partner will never notice it?s not as tight as it was that first time ? this just happens. She too will not remember him being any different either. He will just feel the same without it hurting quite as much.
Here is something you can try as an example: take a rubber band (new) from its package ? measure it then stretch it around something so that it is stretched about an inch. Leave it on whatever you put it on for a day or so. Now take it off and re-measure it. Surprise! It did not return to the exact same size as before it was stretched even if it only changed by a millimeter or so ? it stretched. Right! So it is with the vagina also. It did not and will not ever return to the exact same size ? never.
Now when you have your baby you?ll never be that tight again ? no matter what you do. Now with that stated. Most women return to a state of tightness and never really notice any difference ? it is however somewhat larger due to the passage of that baby. Kegals exercises can and do help as stated by all those so kindly above; but, they do only affect that muscle in the lower area of the vagina as stated by taylormillgirl. It is highly possible that your husband?s never ever notice any change(s) in your vaginas. This is not uncommon ? men are only interested in being able to have intercourse with you. Possibly giving you pleasure during intercourse to the point of you?re getting an orgasm. Be thankful ? satisfied this is the way they are.
Also your age at child birth, number of children you give birth to, their size, weight, physical characteristic of any new born all effect the return of your vagina to somewhat a tighter state all play a roll/part in this overall picture. I?d be willing to bet that to your hubby ? nothing in you has changed. After all he?s probably been without intercourse for what 10 to l2 weeks or so. He?s just glad to be back in you ? what do you think?
On that part about having surgery to reduce the vagina so it?s real tight again ? well honey I?d think hard and long on this one. Inquire on this one from girl friends ? women who you know (personally) for what happened with the outcome of theirs. In other words ? I think you can get back to a good sexual relationship with your hubby without it. OK!!!
It?s going to get to feeling good, tight again ? just don?t worry. Now to the posting from Hollylb3 what you stated was in many medical papers, text books until the late 70?s and is possibility even there today ? it has been revised somewhat now to some more current information as basically stated by both taylormillgirl and kmlluvnmh it does help the problem on tightness to some degree.
I?ve given birth to 5 children ? being 25 when our first was born, 27 second, 29 third, 31 forth and 44 for the fifth. When I got pregnant with my first I was in wonderful shape that being long blonde hair, blue eyes as well as a figure that?s 38-23-37 I?ve not seen the 23? waist since ? it came back but at a 24? staying between 24? and 26 until that pregnancy then delivery of number 5 when it returned to just under 29. As for my bust of 38 I?ve seen these several times; but, not nearly as firm due to breastfeeding. Hips however stayed at 39 to 42 after the first birth. So you can see the body as well as the vagina changes with each birth and age. Just enjoy what God has given you ? take care of those little ones. All of you just love you?re husbands. I bet your hubby?s don?t look at you as a model in one of those magazines anyway. They see you as that girl (woman) they married ? whenever!!!!
As for me ladies I?ve been married almost 49 years ? love that man I married so long ago more each day of our lives? together. He and I both still see each other as we looked on our wedding day. This will never change for us ? What God?s joined together stays together for life.
Ladies here?s a little something extra for all of you to ponder remember ? hubby sees you ? THE WAY YOU LOOKED ON THAT SPECIAL DAY WHEN HE MARRIED YOU ? that?s the way it should be!!!
Also he has changed too ? but doesn?t ? HE ALSO LOOK (in your eyes that is) THE WAY HE LOOKED WHEN YOU SAID THOSE WORDS ? ?I DO? be truthful now. Think about it.
~~Emily~~
