Last name weirdness

mamie329 · April 2010

An old coworker of mine got married last year. Her husband's last name is Boner. Kind of unfortunate, right? I saw for the past year she kept her FB name her maiden name. But now I see her name as Mary Bonner.

So... this is is strange, yes? I'm not sure how she can just alter her married name like that just because. Have you seen anything like this before?

ETA: in further stalking, someone commented "Official name change?" and she replied, "Yes! It took us six months, but it is finally official. Now, I'm sure there will be endless paperwork to get it changed on everything."

Junebug060609 · April 2010

A pair of co-workers were married years ago, but just this past year had their first kid. Before little A was born, they both changed their name. See, they wanted everyone to have the same LN, but dad came into the mix with the last name Dorken. The wife, understandably, refused to take the name. Neither of them wanted the kid to have the LN. They are now Doerkens. They are Canadian. I know the change involved lawyers and assorted paperwork.

mamie329 · April 2010

Ah yes. Like your family, this couple is expecting their first child very soon.

But still... so weird. If I was in her place, I wonder what I would do.

mrscdobs · April 2010

Because I'm 12 years old, I can't stop laughing at this, and I REALLY wish my last name was Boner.

SBS0628 · April 2010

I'm kinda surprised it didn't come up before the wedding...and why they waited so long to do something about it!

It's kinda weird to me. I mean, it's a family name, right? So wouldn't you just want to continue it in the family regardless? The dad lived with it his whole life. Is it just because kids are meaner now?

I would just think if you're going to go to all the trouble of changing it, why not make a bigger change? Or go back to a different family name? Or have the husband take the wife's name? Or become "The Pickles" or something awesome (or ridiculous, depending on how you look at it)?

ETA: The "go back to a different family name" is something I've actually heard of. My friends got married a few years ago, and he changed back to his mom's maiden name since there weren't going to be any left in their lineage.

mamie329 · April 2010

dobs, I can start calling you that if you wish.

SBS, Yeah, agreed. I wonder what the rest of his family thinks about it. And if I was her I'd have him take her last name, but maybe that's emasculating to some. The different family name would be kind of cool, too.

stephriz · April 2010

SBS0628:

Or become "The Pickles" or something awesome (or ridiculous, depending on how you look at it)?

I actually do know a girl with the maiden name Pickle. Her married name is now Day, so it was the Pickle-Day wedding.

hawkilady · April 2010

I think its super weird and I think DH and his family would have both been offended. I understand that there are some really bad names out there but I can't imagine actually going through changing it.

Junebug060609 · April 2010

I guess I think of it like I did with the name changes so many of us did when we got hitched. A really personal decision. In the case of my co-workers, I think the new spelling was a variation of his last name where his family is from (he's a Canadian of German decent). It works for them...though I'm still not used saying and writing it.

hopscotch. · April 2010

Confession...when I worked as a lifeguard in school, we would get bored and found a guy in the phonebook whose name was Harry Weiner. We pranked called him.

How could any mother seriously do that to her child?

just dandy. · April 2010

It isn't so weird to me because it reminds me of Jewish people changing their last names to avoid religious persecution or immediate stereotyping when they moved to the United States. My husband's family changed their last name because of the incessant tormenting that his grandfather got because of their really really ridiculously Jewish last name. So I can see that maybe the Boner guy was scarred for life from the tormenting he received as a kid and didn't want his kids to go through that. It was probably a big change at the time, but now it's just kind of a cool piece of family history.

Leigha12 · April 2010

Question, does the husband's FB page reflect a spelling change, too?

mamie329 · April 2010

Changing your name because of religious persecution - no side eye

Changing a name you married into because it's a slang word for an erection - side eye

stephriz · April 2010

mamie329:

Changing your name because of religious persecution - no side eye

Changing a name you married into because it's a slang word for an erection - side eye

I would do it. If DH had an awful name and had some traumatic experiences from it, I would seriously look into both of us taking my name or both of us assuming a new name.

Here's some names for which I would consider it:

Gay

***

Butts

ETA: See? Even the Nest hates the last name D ick

Leigha12 · April 2010

I agree with Steph. There are certain last names that I would not even have considered taking. I would have kept my own or we could have come to some sort of compromise. If they both made the decision to go with Bonner, I see no reason to judge.

mamie329 · April 2010

To clarify, I would not have taken my H's name in those scenarios. I'm just saying religious persecution =/= Boner.

just dandy. · April 2010

mamie329:
To clarify, I would not have taken my H's name in those scenarios. I'm just saying religious persecution =/= Boner.

Well in my husband's family's name it wasn't really religious persecution... it was like, "hahah! bergowitzenstein! what a jew! i'm going to throw pennies at this kid for the rest of his life!"

Which I think is equal to "hahah! Boner! Penis penis penis! I'm going to make fun of this kid's name for the rest of his life!"

mamie329 · April 2010

just dandy.:
mamie329:
To clarify, I would not have taken my H's name in those scenarios. I'm just saying religious persecution =/= Boner.

Well in my husband's family's name it wasn't really religious persecution... it was like, "hahah! bergowitzenstein! what a jew! i'm going to throw pennies at this kid for the rest of his life!"

Which I think is equal to "hahah! Boner! Penis penis penis! I'm going to make fun of this kid's name for the rest of his life!"

Well, still for religious/ethnic reasons. Granted, kids are mean as shiit. My friend dated a guy with the last name of Dicck - minus the extra "c" and I kept wondering what would happen if she married him.

Leigha - I don't think the husband has a FB page. But I did note that his family are still Boners.

ha, now I'm giggling like a 12-year-old.

Leigha12 · April 2010

mamie329:
Leigha - I don't think the husband has a FB page. But I did note that his family are still Boners.

ha, now I'm giggling like a 12-year-old.

And you're an adult. How can you blame them for saving a kid from the same thing?

mamie329 · April 2010

Haha. I don't want to make it sound like I don't UNDERSTAND the reason. Obvs I do. I would cringe every time I said my new married name! I just have questions as to what he thinks, the family thinks, if their kid will ask why Grandma Sue and Uncle Bob have a slightly different last name, etc.

It's just an unusual situation that has prompted me to post about it and get some outside thoughts.

Leigha12 · April 2010

I gotcha. If her and her DH are on the same page, then I wouldn't give a rat's behind what his parents thought, but my own feelings toward my ILs are probably severely influencing that for me. I have a feeling when the kid is like 7, he may be confused, but by the time he's 12, he will be forever grateful! lol

mamie329 · April 2010

What you just said, I can relate. To make a long story short, my H's last name is not the name he was born with. His stepdad adopted him when he was about 9. Now the stepdad and mom are divorced, bitterly, and MIL cannot understand why I was so amped to be Mrs. Last Name and thinks my H should have taken her maiden name at 30 years old! I told her that it meant a lot to me to take my H's name because that is HIM and doesn't reflect on her ex.

chrissyvcm · April 2010

This is awesome! I too am curious if Mr. Boner is now Mr. Bonner.

Funny coincidence, just the other day Bossman had to call an attorney by the last name of Boner. He felt embarrassed asking for Mr. Boner, so he intentionally mispronounced it and asked for Mr. Bonner. The receptionist promptly corrected him. Awkward!

Also, Mike changed our last name just because he wanted to. Well, he didn't really change it, but he un-capitalized a letter and changed the emphasis from the way the rest of the family pronounces it. I'm pretty sure he was just too lazy to sign his last name with an additional capital letter, and he thought the proper pronunciation was a bit too foofy. He changed it, and obviously, I followed suit. Since the spelling is still the same, there was no legal action on his part though, so I guess it's not technically the same. Our friends love to throw all sorts of emphasis in there whereever they feel like it. It comes out pretty interesting sometimes!

Leigha12 · April 2010

chrissyvcm:
This is awesome! I too am curious if Mr. Boner is now Mr. Bonner.

Funny coincidence, just the other day Bossman had to call an attorney by the last name of Boner. He felt embarrassed asking for Mr. Boner, so he intentionally mispronounced it and asked for Mr. Bonner. The receptionist promptly corrected him. Awkward!

Reminds me of the commercial with the guy in the interview calling the boss Mr. Dumbass, but the name was Dumas.

Last name weirdness

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