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Infiltrating the "in" crowd - how?
I may delete this later as I already feel like I'm outing myself as a big loser, but here goes...
I joined a professional organization about a year ago in hopes of networking and making some friends that do what I do. I've been to every official event always try to talk to the people sitting around me. I've signed up to be a volunteer, and when nothing came of it, I followed up and got a "oh, we don't need any help right now, thanks" reply.
The thing is, while the group membership is large, there's a group of people that are actively involved in the organization. They stick pretty close to each other at meetings, they end up on org committees together, and when we have special events, they usually host pre-party happy hours and cocktail parties with the special guest. I don't think they're trying to be exclusive, per se, but they aren't very welcoming.
Anyway, I'm kind of at a loss and looking for tips and suggestions about how to get a foot in the door with this crowd so I can be more involved in the organization. Any suggestions?
Re: Infiltrating the "in" crowd - how?
That is a tough situation! I often have trouble with circumstances like you describe, because I tend to be much more on the introverted side than the outgoing/mingling side.
Is there anyone in the "in" crowd who seems nicer or more receptive to being friendly? Maybe trying to befriend one person at a time would be easier than breaking into the herd mentality?
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Yeah, to say I'm introverted is probably the understatement of the year. I'm full on shy.
That's a good idea about finding the one person to befriend. Before I officially joined, I met one person and found her really easy to talk to, but failed to follow through after I joined up. I'll try to target a few more.
Geez, is it totally lame that I have to devise a strategy for meeting and talking to people? I feel like I'm missing something that is totally second nature to everyone else.Not at all! I think making friends (especially other women) can be harder than dating. Or perhaps I'm just an anti-social nerd.
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12 dpo: HCG = 184 Progesterone = 34
14 dpo: HCG = 529 Progesterone = 24.6
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It's kind of funny that you guys have assumed the crowd consists mostly of women. You're right, actually. There are a couple of men in it and they're no more welcoming than the women, but I'd say the crowd is 90% women. My feminist mind is intrigued...
I'm not sure which big networking group you're talking about - but I'm part of YWA! I found that going to the big events was pretty hard to meet new people unless you really be assertive and start introducing yourself. I met some of my good friends by walking up to a table full of girls with a few extra seats and asking if I could sit with them. Since its a networking org, most girls there have been in your boat at one time or another - I havent ever had anyone be mean to me by doing that.
Does your group have a buddy program? We have buddies that you can attend with to an event so you dont feel like you're by yourself, which helped me build some confidence at first.
I ended up joining a smaller committee so I could make friends more easily (and attend all of the networking mixers!).
Another pointer - always have your business card with you .. .. so when you strike up a casual conversation sitting next to someone at a meeting - you can throw out your business card/email (and they' might do the same), and say something like "hey - i enjoyed chatting with you - do you want to do lunch or HH sometime"? Its like dating to find friends . . . LOL.
sorry - dup post - the nest freaked out on me.
Aw... thanks y'all. I don't want to give too many details about the nature of the group, but it's a pretty specialized organization and I'm pretty sure there are no Nesties there. I wish there were, though.
I have business cards, I'll keep some close at hand for the trade. Thanks for the tips!