Sex & Romance
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Pain/Discomfort during "the deed"? (sort of long)

Ok, so we've been together for 6 years. I was with people before him but never had this problem. I have been to the doctor numerous time b/c I was afraid that maybe something was wrong medically, but everything comes back normal and my docs just say to use more lube....so we do, and it sometimes helps but usually it's always the same. While I truly enjoy being with my husband and "doing the deed", almost every time we get down to business, it hurts right at the beginning. After a few minutes it feels great and what not, but that initial "entering" is uncomfortable.

Also, I know its not totally common for couples to have sex more than once a day, but it does happen, so one more question...if we do it once, I'm usually done for the day because I will be too sore to want to try again. I swear this is so weird to me...we don't do anything extreme that should cause soreness, so why does this end up happening? Any thoughts or other people who had had this experience? Also, it has been like this basically since the first time we got together.

One more note, H is totally awesome about my issues and understanding. I just feel sort of guilty in the fact that I sort of limit or sex life because of this.

Pregnancy Ticker

Re: Pain/Discomfort during "the deed"? (sort of long)

  • I have been in the same boat. Well, sort of. My H is the only person I've ever "been" with and almost every time it hurts so bad when he enters. He feels WAAY too big. Now to be completely honest, my H is fairly average [I've never seen another actually in front of me, but we did measure his Embarrassed]. It always feels like I'm ripping! My docs have said the same thing "use more lube" or my favorite "maybe you're allergic to latex". I pay tons of money for tests and exams and I get crap answers from them.

    I, too, feel guilty sometimes. A lot of the time it just continues to be so painful I tell him we need to stop. He doesn't seem to mind. And I'm always super sore after too. So I guess what I'm saying is I understand and am looking forward to some answers that are actually helpful [as opposed to my rambling post haha].

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  • imagehuskies09:

    Also, I know its not totally common for couples to have sex more than once a day,

    And who told you this?

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  • Are your Hs being gentle when they enter?  This is important.  Are you getting enough foreplay?  Important as well.

    Also, why is "doing the deed" and "been" with in quotes?  Try saying sex.  Go ahead, try it. 

    Plenty of people have sex multiple times a day.  Fi and I are LDR (for a few more days, woo-hoo), and during visits we sometimes have sex 6 times a day.  The key is foreplay and starting slow. You are going to be sore if your H is jackhammering away before you are ready.

  • I've posted on this before. Sex shouldn't hurt! If you're experiencing constant discomfort have a look at the vaginismus.com website.Vaginismus is a common medical problem but is constantly misdiagnosed by doctors. Best of luck!
  • Foreplay: make sure you get an adequate amount. Some men just don't understand how much foreplay women need to get ready since they get hard in a matter of seconds.

    Lube: try different lubes. I've found that the lubes found at adult shops are a lot better than the ones at the drugstore. My favorite brand is Wet. We have the Wet Platinum (black bottle) and we love it. If your lube sucks using the whole bottle isn't going to make it feel any better. 

    Entering: Is he entering slowly and gently? Try woman on top so you can control the speed and angle of entrance. 

    imageimage
  • imagehuskies09:

    Also, I know its not totally common for couples to have sex more than once a day, but it does happen,

    this whole line is just weird. who told you this?

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  • No, DH doesn't simply shove it in with noe regard. He is quite careful and I am very fortunate in the sense that he is also very in tune to foreplay. That is why I wondered why I would have this probelm...thanks for the input, I'll try to put some of your suggestions to work :-)
    Pregnancy Ticker
  • Make sure you are using enough lube. I'd say to look into Endometrosis or secondary vaginismus. I hope you don't have either, b/c they are not fun. Research them and talk to your doctor. 
    Daisypath Next Aniversary Ticker
  • I have Endometriosis and have many of these side effects and problems. Hate to be nosy but are you periods abnormal?
    Daisypath Anniversary tickers
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