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My sister :( Update and a vent.
I hope you guys never have to go through watching someone lose their partner in this way. Oddly enough I was just going to bed at 12:45am when the phone rang and it was my sister sobbing hysterically to the point where she could barely get out that she needed me to get to her now. I'm usually in bed by 10pm and asleep no later than 11pm if I'm reading. God works in mysterious ways and I was meant to be awake tonight to hear the phone.
She finally cracked and it was tonight after hearing the final news of what was really happening to BIL. His brain tumor is 5 times bigger than before and has tentacles in all parts of his brain. She knew they weren't telling her something and it was for his benefit because his plate is full. Pretty much that is why he has been slowly disintegrating and losing function and abilities. In the last week alone she said he has given up and gone downhill in so many ways it could only be a month before we lose him if not sooner.
I can't tell you how heart wrenching it is to see her. To watch her sob and talk about losing the one, her soul mate, the person that completes her. There is nothing I can do but just be there and hug her. I can't fix her problems, I can't make him better, I can't even help him go in a easier way so he doesn't suffer. We all have to suffer with him during these last few weeks, his family and my sister so much more than the rest of us. Words can not express how hard and horrible this is.
I feel so helpless. I feel so awful. I hate watching her suffer and knowing he is suffering. Not being able to say goodbye to him or give him one last hug. All the regrets of not going over to see him more when I had the time and he was healthier and bored out of his mind. I even knew I was detaching myself by not seeing him when I could because some part of me knew he was going to die and I was only looking out for me and not spending time with him the way I could have and should have.
I really really hate this.
Re: My sister :( Update and a vent.
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I'm sorry D- your sister and family is going through this. Just continue to hug her and be there for her- it's all you can do...
::hugs::
I'm so very sorry. You're doing the right thing by being there for your sister, hang in there.
Oh God D, I am so sorry for all of you. I still don't understand why it is that such terrible things happen to such good people - I guess it will never make sense. Call me if you need to vent.
I know it's not enough, especially for your sister, but I don't know what else to say - but I'm sorry. It just really doesn't seem fair.
And please don't beat yourself up over it. Please.
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I am sorry to hear this. Having been in your sister's position I wish I had better advice for you but I don't. Just be there for her if she needs you. Be her buffer from other people. Be her mental punching bag if she needs one.
Just be there for her, when everyone else has gone home and the activities die down. Be there for her when it seems like she is handling things well, Don't let her good days fool anyone. Also allow her to be alone if she wants to be. I have realized I have an active mind nowadays and can keep myself occupied with my thoughts alone, if that makes sense.
Should the time come, I have a message board that might interest your sister, when the time is right. I also have a great book recommendation, again, when the time is right. Follow her lead.
My heart goes out to her and your family. Her life is being pulled out from under her. She will be lost. So so lost. Try to help her stay grounded but also support her in her decisions. I find myself looking at life in a completely different way now. I am trying to focus on quality of life not quantity and that has lead me down several paths of thought, not all of them sane lol.
Again, I am so so sorry to hear of this news. If you have any questions, feel free to PM me, just page me here to let me know, as I don't get the emails when people PM me until months later for some reason.
Good luck to you and your family. ((big hugs))
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