I hate keeping secrets!

MrsZiz · April 2010

I don't know why but with our BFP with Bella I basically shouted it from the rooftops, we were over the top excited. This time I feel exactly the same way but am still hesitant to shout it from the rooftops. I feel more afraid of miscarriage this time, I'm not sure why but I'm SUPER afraid for some crazy reason. I mean it's not like I think it's going to happen or anything, I'm just really afraid of it. I think now that's it's sunk in that we are pregnant (and my belly is looking more bloated), I'm SO excited and I want this baby more than ever. I would be completely devasted if anything happened (as would anyone I'm sure).

I am also a little afraid to tell my work since we did just have a baby 8 months ago! I know they will be supportive because I mean really, what can they say? There are tons of pregnant girls at work right now (most due this summer). I guess I just want the confirmation of hearing the heartbeat for the first time.

Last time we didn't wait at all and we told EVERYONE right away. We hear/see the heartbeat in 2 weeks but the wait it totally killing me. I want EVERYONE to know already but I don't understand what is holding me back...

Do you think what I'm feeling is normal? Would you wait to tell? Did you wait? Why? I need some encouragement that I'm normal and not just a non-sleeping, still breastfeeding, really exhausted, pregnant momma!

MrsIH · April 2010

I think it's completely 110% normal

I waited until 13 weeks to tell my co-workers and waited for our first ultrasound at 12 weeks to tell extended family. I was so worried too about something happening that I was too hesitant to tell a lot of people. I even waited to post it here but it was great to finally spread the word. I would probably wait to tell work but that's just me, you have to do whatever you are comfortable with. So happy and excited for you guys, I honestly can't wait to see what this bebe will be, a brother or a sister?! Hmm...

MrsZiz · April 2010

Thanks Tara! I just feel crazy waiting since we told everyone last time... like somehow this one is less special when really it's not at all, not even a tiny bit! I appreciate the reassurance that you felt the same way too!

MrsIH · April 2010

Oh I can only imagine, thinking why aren't we doing the same as we did with Bella. That is normal too and I can't say I can relate to it, not yet anyway

Like I said, when you feel ready and you feel strongly about it, just do it and tell everyone

When we told our close family at 4 weeks I thought, well, if anything were to go wrong we have so much support and that was comforting.

redshoegirl · April 2010

I think it's very normal! With the first pregnancy, you were probably so overwhelmed with the novelty of it all (I'm not saying this baby isn't just as special, but this WILL be a different experience for you) that you probably couldn't help but shout it out to everyone. Smile

With this pregnancy, we didn't tell anyone IRL until I hit the second trimester (aside from our parents, since we were waiting to tell them the first time around until the dating scan was done...and let me tell you, the only thing worse than telling your parents you miscarried is having to tell them that you used to be pregnant but aren't anymore). By then we'd already seen them on an ultrasound once and heard the heartbeats, but I just wanted the extra assurance that the second trimester brought. It didn't mean that they were any less special in our hearts or minds, just that we felt more cautious than we might have otherwise.

So I wouldn't worry about it - tell people when you're comfortable and don't feel beholden to a particular date or event!

mrs.winter · April 2010

Yes, I know how you feel. Since we did have a mc with our first I was really caution the 2nd time. We waited to tell everyone after I was 12 weeks along. We only told my parents/Adam's mom at about 8 weeks after we saw the heartbeat. It was hard to keep the secret but it was important that we did.

I think everyone is different so if you want to tell, then I would:-)

I am so happy for you!

mrspresley · April 2010

i agree, totally normal. i had to tell someone so i told you girls right away...we told our parents at about 6 wks and very close friends...but waited until i was in the third tri to tell the rest of the world. i was just too cautious and worried about something going wrong to tell everyone right away.

lelekay · April 2010

I think that' sounds very normal. I, too, wanted to shout it from the rooftops, but managed to hold on (mostly!) for quite a while. We did tell our parents right away (about a week after the BFP), but didn't tell anyone else until 9 weeks (after seeing the heartbeat). Even then, I didn't tell work until 13 weeks. As much as wanted to share with everyone, I'm glad we waited....it was worth it!

eacerna · April 2010

I completely agree with ppl. I was being very cautious especially hearing about other ppl's m/c's and what not. We did not tell family until we had our sonogram at 8 wks and saw the baby's heartbeat. We only told very close friends then. I am 11 wks now (12 wks on Sunday) and now feel a bit more comfortable talking about it. I plan to tell my co-workers after next week. We saw the baby again a couple of days ago when I had my NT scan so it was a huge sigh of relief to see everything is fine :-). DH wants to have a FB announcement when we find out the gender :-).

vanilla15 · April 2010

I completely understand you wanting to wait to tell everyone. We kept it a secret from everyone until about 10 weeks when we told immediate family. I didn't tell work until I was officially in my 2nd trimester. In part b/c we wanted to be cautious, but also b/c we are kind of private people & it just felt funny talking about me. (I know...probably ridiculous!) We have never posted it on fb & I actually turned off our walls so no one would write anything about it on there. (my mom is my friend & within 30 sec of telling her, she had already text her entire phone book! I knew she would go to town on fb!) I think it is more b/c alot of people who have "friend"ed me are just random friends of friends or former classmates, I just didn't feel comfortable sharing with (I know...completely ridiculous!)

Anywho...just trying to say, I think your hestitation & excitement to tell everyone is completely normal!

MauidAims · April 2010

Totally understand! We did exactly the same thing with #1 (Kai)-shouted from the rooftops. With #2 only a few people knew. #2 didnt make it. I can tell you from loosing #2 that it was hard, BUT I would have rather have it happen now than at delivery or be faced with some horrible decision later in the PG. It just wasnt meant to be and you always have to trust your body in that case. I am sure your PG is fine but I just wanted to share that you would get through it and it does make you appreciate your first baby and PG that much more (if thats even possible). I think you are feeling 100% normal because there is also a rational/realistic side to you too. Dont fret though, enjoy this PG!! Shout girl, shout!

I hate keeping secrets!

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