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(@) C&P from 1st Tri
http://www.thenestbaby.com/stages/stage.aspx?stage=trimester1&ForumID=420
DH has such a big mouth and wants to tell everyone we're PG. I'm so not
ready to yet and he understands and will follow through b/c its
important to me. So our parents know right now and no one else. That
said, my brother lives five hours away and will be in town this weekend
so we decided to tell him in person. So I told my dad I'd let him know
when he knew so he could talk to someone about it, he mentioned it to
his wife, who apparently had a tangent about what about her kids? (who
are 18 and 23 and barely say hello to me when I walk into the house --
and we've known them since they were 3 and 8). My husband's brothers
don't know either and won't know until the end first tri. I was just
like Dad, we want to tell people in person. We'll tell that side of the
family when we see them in November. My brother wouldn't know either if
he weren't coming in.
The family politics of three sides, remarriages, etc. are getting
absurd. I swear the amount of aggravation we're going through is
ridiculous. I cry constantly about nothing except these stupid
headaches and then call my mom or vent to you guys.
So I apologize for venting again but if anyone's been in my crazy
shoes, advice is appreciated. I really can't figure out if I'm totally
off base on this or what.
-------------------------------------------------
I guess I don't get why this is such a big thing to be crying over and whatnot. Why can't her own siblings know? I would 100% want to know what my own siblings are dealing with, and would think that mine would care enough about me to want to know too. And I come from a blended family and can't stand the whole "i don't want 'them' to know" mentality. What, do you have the golden uterus? Only the most awesome people can know what your uterus is doing when? And waiting til 12 weeks of all things to tell your own immediate family?
odd odd odd odd.
Re: (@) C&P from 1st Tri
So I told my dad I'd let him know when he knew so he could talk to someone about it, he mentioned it to his wife, who apparently had a tangent about what about her kids? (who are 18 and 23 and barely say hello to me when I walk into the house
It doesn't sound like she has a great relationship with her step-family so I don't see why she should feel obligated to tell them earlier. It sounds a little different than the relationship you have with your siblings. But at the end of the day if she wanted to save herself some aggravation she should just not tell anyone until the end of the first tri.
I think it is reasonable not to tell many people until late in your first trimester. I know too many women who have told everyone they knew early and had miscarriages. And then had to deal with telling everyone they lost their baby. A big PITA.
Could be a control issue for the OP but it is her choice in the end.
The problem is, once you start telling a few people, you're basically telling everyone (at least when it comes to family). I understand not wanting everybody to know, but it's almost impossible unless you have a family of CIA agents who can all keep secrets.
I also think the 'crying all the time' is totally overreacting, which could either be understandably the result of hormones or less understandably, the result of being a drama queen.
I guess that's my point though because I would want to know if my own sister had a m/c and visa versa, great relationship or not, kwim? I can't think of too many other "come to jesus", argument ending events than a m/c.
I 100% understand the whole thing about "everyone" knowing, but it sounds like the two stepbrothers live under the same roof as the parents. Thats not "everyone" - its immediate family.
I dunno, I agree with the girl. Having a miscarraige really sucks, and having to tell people about it sucks more.
And even without miscarriages, it's nice to have a secret between oneself and one's husband. I'd rather keep it just between us for as long as I can.
I wouldn't tell my immediate family until at least 10 weeks. We are very close, but I don't want to have to tell everyone if there is a miscarriage. It would make it even harder.
I am from a blended family so I get what you are saying but she said she isn't close to them It is a them vs us in her family. They aren't her siblings in her mind. Every family is different. Just because you are close to your half/step siblings doesn't mean everyone is.