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MrsZiz
Hey - Just read your BFing post on your blog. I wanted to chime in that I completely 100% agree with you! We are now at 7 months and still BFing. It has not been without challenges, but I am glad that we've continued.
That said... I have a similar hospital story. When Alexa was only 2 days old (so, obviously, my milk had NOT come in yet) a nurse told me (a tired, freaked out new mom) that my baby was starving and that I needed to give her formula because she was hungry. I was pressured into it.
The nurse gave her a little bit of formula, in front of me, and then took her to the nursery so I could sleep. I told her not to give her any more and that she was to eat in my presence only. The next day, i checked the chart and the nurse had fed her more behind my back.
Needless to say, Alexa slept most of the next day and refused to nurse. I very easily could have lost out on BFing right then and there, before I had even begun. But somewhere in the depths of myself I became a mom and decided I knew best.
So when the nurse came back that night and offered to take Alexa to the nursery and give her some formula so she could sleep.. I said no. She said my baby was starving. I told her no, she's not, she's fine. I kept her with me in my room that night, away from that nurse!
On the last day, my milk came in. But before it did, Alexa's last weigh-in showed that she'd lost more than 10 percent of her birth weight, so another nurse told me that a lactation consultant would come by and talk to me about supplementing with formula.
I told the nurse (a good one) that my milk had just come in and I was sure Alexa had been drinking a lot of it and was gaining weight. The nurse suggested we weigh her, then I feed her, then weigh her again and see if she's eating. So we did. And.. She WAS! Not only that, but she was already gaining weight back, so they called off plans to have someone talk to me about supplementing.
Anyway... TWO examples of things that happened to me in the hospital where if it were up to the nurses, I would be feeding formula or supplementing. It gets me heated every time I think about it too.
A close friend of mine was pressured into supplementing and she never did get her full supply. She now thinks that if she had known then to refuse it, she might have been able to bf but she just didn't know what to do at the time.
So, anyway...... I agree. The medical profession should be ASHAMED of themselves for not only not encouraging breastfeeding and for actually DISCOURAGING it. Seriously. What a shame.
Re: MrsZiz
:::crashing thread as I nurse my LO:::
I also read your post Sarah and said "brava" to you! Thanks for the link to The Feminist Breeder too.
I was adamant that Libby not be supplemented....she latched on within 2 minutes of birth...but due to my GD she had to be tested for her glucose levels and they were a tad low...so they gave her some sugar water via tube. That was the first and last time she had anything but my milk.
My milk came in on day 5 and she had gone from 8 lbs 4 oz to 7 lbs 6 oz and was being watched for jaundice. The pedi did the same as for Malia...weighed her, let us nurse for 10 min. and weighrd her again...she was up an oz. after 10 minutes so they said just keep at it. We did (she cluster fed Days 6-8) and at her 2 week appt. she was 9 lbs. 2 oz.! We've never looked back...
Despite our challenges (over-supply, forceful let-down, foremilk/hindmilk imbalance, excess lipase and recently her flat-out refusal of the bottle so we have to cup feed) I am committed to BFing for at least a year. It's so amazing to know that my body produces everything she needs to grow and be healthy (not just while she was in utero, but now too)! I am sorry for mother's who never try or who are bullied by nurses, doctors or even family members to give up before they get started.
This pretty much sums up how I feel about it:
Of course then people say ?It?s her CHOICE to formula-feed ? leave her alone!? But I don?t believe that most women are making this ?choice.? The CDC shows that 3/4 of women are initiating breastfeeding in the hospital, but only 13.6% of women are still exclusively breastfeeding at 6 months. What this tells me is that somewhere along the way, they gave up on themselves, and the reason I hear most often is, ?But, I tried! I just couldn?t make any milk!?
Here is the cold hard truth ladies: You have been lied to.
If only 13.6% of us could make enough milk, the human race would never have survived. And it?s not your fault. It?s the fault of this system that completely fails mothers and babies, and sabotages a mother?s good intentions. Somewhere along the line, some one told you that you couldn?t make milk, and you believed them because we?ve all grown up in a culture that tells women their bodies aren?t good enough for much of anything except being toys for men. Is it easy to make this milk? No, not always ? but neither was bringing that baby into the world and your body did a fine job of that. Think about that. Think hard. Your body created an entire human being inside from nothing more than the joining of two single cells. Your body is a miracle worker. So what leads you to believe that, after creating a whole person with organs and tissue and a beating heart, that your body would call it quits when it came time to feeding this thing? The major problem here is that someone in your life probably put their own ignorance ahead of the short and long term health of you and your baby, and you believed them because women are used to feeling shamed.
TTC/PG Blog | Mommy Blog
Wow... pressure on both sides.
Not to scare other moms out there, but do what is right for your baby. I had to do both, bf and formula feed only for 3 months after he was born. It was hard as Ben got teeth very early and it hurt me so much. I was in tears every day for months ladies. And I was freaked out by pumping. Formula is not evil and it ended up being a good decision for both of us.
I felt VERY pressured in to exclusively breastfeeding, even by our male neighbour. Grosses me out every time I think how he asked me how that was going. Being a mom comes with so much judgement from others. It SUCKS.
Do what is right for you. If you bf = great! If you formula feed = great! If you do both = great! Happy mommy = happy baby. Stand up for what you feel is best and don't let others judge or make you feel different.
TTC/PG Blog | Mommy Blog
I ABSOLUTELY agree with this too!!
Nothing against formula or against those who use it. Happy Momma = Happy Baby. I don't even think that every mom should give BFing a try. If a mom decides not to even try BFing and goes straight to formula, that is totally OK!! And if she tries it but it doesn't work, that's OK too!!
My point was that for those who WANT to BF, it's really discouraging to be undermined by medical professionals who should be supporting it.
Malia & Dave & Alexa
Happily married since 2-17-08! Three since 9-9-09!
Baby Blog
Wow I posted a long reply and it disappeared into thin air! WTF?!
The point of my blog wasn't to make people feed bad for not breastfeeding. It was to say that IF a mother wants to, the medical field should give her all the help, encouragement and support that she needs to get her going and KEEP her going. It's the mother's choice and I feel bad that MY profession doesn't 100% support mom's like me. I even said that to my dr, that I was "sad that you (meaning B's pedi) aren't offering me encouragement and are telling me to supplement when my milk is already in". Needless to say, she said "oh no, I wasn't telling you you had too, I was telling you that you COULD"... really? I could? Like she was giving me permission. It's my kid lady and I'll do what I want, I don't permission!
The other point of my blog was that there are TONS of resources for help. Your LC, the LLL hotline, your local LLL, chat boards, me, etc. I think sometimes women don't know what to do or who to call when they want to BF but aren't getting the help that they need....
It's unfortunate that people judge other people too (like MauMary's neighbor), really? I mean how the hell does it effect your neighbor if you BF or FF? Are they going to come over at 4am to help or something? Bring dinner when you've been BF for hours on end? Doubtful!
I'm supportive of the mom's choice, whatever that is! But for me, FF wasn't an option, I felt VERY strong about BF and especially because Bella was a preemie I felt like she needed that from me. I felt like I owed her at least 5 weeks since my body couldn't keep her inside for those last 5 weeks... like it was my duty or something.
My SIL has a one year old and a 6 week old and she had issues BF the first one so she stopped. She really wanted to BF her but didn't have the support of her medical team (pedi or OB) and in the end, I felt bad that I wasn't around more to offer my advice and support. So this time, she wanted to give it a go, so I helped her as much as I could. I also told her the truth, it's hard work! Now, she's doing both and the other day, she said "i just can't keep up with the S (the baby) and take care of L (the one yr old) so I'm doing both now". I smiled and said "good for you for figuring out what works for you all. I'm happy for her that she's found a balance that makes life easier for her and her family. It makes no difference to me what she does, in the end, I just want her to know that if she needs me for BF or anything else, I'm here and support her in whatever she choses. She even said "If I go back and want to do it more can you help me later". I said "yeah if or when you decide that just let me know and I'll see what I can do"... in the end we as women need to be supportive of eachother because God knows sometimes the MD's don't know their a$$ from a hole in the ground!
Sarah... Amen! Thank you for such a thoughtful reply. Your sister is very lucky to have your help! Similarly, I am helping a good friend of mine who is preparing to deliver.... How early was Bella? Born at Week 35?
My friend is 33 weeks now and will find out tomorrow if they will do a c-section this weekend to deliver her baby. My friend has high blood pressure and so the baby is not growing well. She went from 30th percentile to 10th percentile in the last few weeks.
Anyway, she really wants to BF but knows that it'll be an uphill battle with a preemie... Any advice or tips I can pass on to her? If the baby is in NICU (which is at a different hospital, which sucks) then she knows she will have to pump... I have offered to come sit with her at the hospital if her DH is with the baby and to help her....
My email is mrulon at yahoo
Thanks! Bella is growing so fast! So adorable! Still floored about your surprise BFP!
Malia & Dave & Alexa
Happily married since 2-17-08! Three since 9-9-09!
Baby Blog
I'm still floored about my surprise BFP!! Let me tell you! I think why the heck am I exhausted? Oh yeah I'm growing 2 babies! Bella since I'm still BF and this new babes! CRAZY!!!
Bella was 35 weeks and 2 days. I was lucky and she didn't have to go to the NICU. If her baby does NOT go to the NICU, have her BF ASAP!! I BF within the first hour. I also would recommend telling them not to give her a paci right away, NICU nurses are quick to give pacis, which I understand but if there's anyway they can avoid it, it would be better for her in the end. I also think it's key to tell everyone that her plan is to BF no matter what! That way they know she's serious
You know my profession, sometimes we want to take the easy way out and just formula feed the baby so they don't have to teach the mom to BF... it's SO frustrating to me!
If baby does go to the NICU, have her pump within 3 hours of giving birth and be diligent about pumping every 2 hours during the day and 3 hours at night to get her breasts stimulated to start making milk! Bella was an amazing BF but I still pumped while I was in the hospital to stimulate my body to "RUSH" deliver the milk
The nurses also said "oh preemies never latch right away" but Bella did! I would tell her NOT to get in her head that her LO won't BF. Tell her to be positive about it and get as much help from the LC as she can. One LC recommended a nipple shield because she said it keeps preemies latched on longer so they won't tucker out. Bella refused it but it's something to have her keep in mind!
Good luck to her and way to go for you for being so supportive of her!