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May I haz an e-hug please?

I need one.  I just dropped Hunter off this morning and talked to the daycare ladies about his napping - or lack thereof.  He naps at home pretty good but its because we can let him nap in the swing or in my arms (I'm totally guilty of still snuggling my almost 20 lb baby for naps, but he's just so snuggle-able).  At daycare he used to nap in his crib very good - they'd put him down drowsy but awake and he'd drift off on his own, or sometimes holding on to his lovey.

Well, now he won't.  Now he fusses and cries and fights his nap like they are the devil and the infant lead teacher said she doesn't know what to do.  They'd love to hold and snuggle the babies (and do when their count is low) but when they have other babies that need attention, they can't do that.  And I respect that, I knew going in to this daycare that it was going to the huge downfall of a great daycare - the lack of 1:1 because there's more than one infant at a time.  Anyways, we agreed to let him do a cry it out (CIO) for nap times now that he's (almost) 6 months.  He can have his loveys and they will soothe him after a few minutes but its still crying it out.  Which I HATE.  I am so anti CIO - the thought of my sweet little boy crying in his crib just wanting to cuddle literally is making me tear up again and again.  I had to pull over on the way to work because my eyes kept going blurry from tearing up.  But, at 6 months, a modified CIO is approved by peditricians.  Babies "get it" by then. 

Logically I know this will teach him great sleep in the future and will save me tons of work when he is 18 months old and won't nap.  But, I hate it.  And I'm also so relieved that I don't have to be the one that lets him CIO.  I guess this is why I pay them? 

Thanks for letting me vent.  I know this seems silly but I am just shook up at him alone in his crib crying for me and me being miles away. 

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Re: May I haz an e-hug please?

  • I am right there with you on this.  Myka will barely get through one little cry before she is in our arms.  CIO will not work for me since I will be the one crying right along with her.  Will they let him fall asleep in a swing then transfer him to his crib?  I give you BIG BIG HUGS this is a tough one.
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  • Big hugs!  That must be really hard.

    For what it's worth from someone who isn't quite a mom yet, I don't think you're doing anything wrong by letting him CIO for a nap. 

    Lilypie Third Birthday tickers
  • imageMrs.KaityJane:
    I am right there with you on this.  Myka will barely get through one little cry before she is in our arms.  CIO will not work for me since I will be the one crying right along with her.  Will they let him fall asleep in a swing then transfer him to his crib?  I give you BIG BIG HUGS this is a tough one.
    Typically this is what they'd do and he'd wake a little and go back down... Now he wakes and wants to play instead. If the lead is gone they let him nap in the swing but she is strict about state regs... She almost didn't let him have the lovey bc it's considered a blanket. Thanks for the support.
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  • Big hugs!  I can imagine it must be very hard to let your little one CIO.  But, I've also witnessed the opposite....friends of ours have a 21mo old who is now reverting and NOT sleeping or napping or allowing anyone to put her down ever.  Now that she's older she knows that if she stays up Mommy will stay with her...they're even reaching the point where my pg w/#2 friend is planning on getting a daybed for her to sleep on to put in the 21mo old's room in the hopes that that will help so that Mommy's always there (and that's probably one of the worst things they can do IMO).  They're terrified to try CIO, but I hope they try something to establish a sleeping routine because it's only going to get worse.  I see the struggle they're going through.  IMO better to nip this in the bud now than when they're older.  I hope things work out with Hunter!  Lots of luck with whatever you try!   
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • Most definitely what pp say! 

    Wow...I'm sure it's hard, but it might make it easier later on.  Esp. if you have a second one. 

    We're at the point when we're tired, we go to bed and tell the kids to not stay up too late-they're 11 now.  They don't like being in the living room w/out an adult so they wind up coming up in 10-15 min, anyway.  Funny!

  • Aw. Poor Hunter and mommy. I wish I could help but I have zero baby knowledge! I'm sure you're getting all sorts of good advice though.
  • Lots of hugs, sweetie! For you and Hunter both!
  • I'm sorry this is so hard. 

    In a way it is good that the daycare ladies get to be the "bad guys" and he won't connect youto making him CIO.  He'll learn the self-soothe and will do great!

    image

    Lilypie Third Birthday tickers Lilypie First Birthday tickers
    TTC #1 13 cycles, CP 6/09, TTC #2 1 cycle
    CDing, EP'd for 13 months for #1, BFing for #2
    Pregnancy Hypertension - inductions at 39w, I grow big babies: DD was 9 pounds 1 ounce 22 inches, DS was 11 pounds even 22 inches - both vaginal deliveries
  • imagesoftskate31:

    I'm sorry this is so hard. 

    In a way it is good that the daycare ladies get to be the "bad guys" and he won't connect youto making him CIO.  He'll learn the self-soothe and will do great!

    image

     

    Aww the kitty hug = adorable.  Thanks for all the support ladies! 

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  • That sucks . . . I know its hard.  I know our daycare lady puts Bebe in the crib and lets her CIO.  It broke my heart for a while, but I just had to figure it is out of my control.  I took comfort in knowing that she knows I would NEVER leave her to cry in her crib . . . I still rock her to sleep  . . . and at least thats better than most moms of 8 month olds.

    Stay strong, this is just a phase.  He is totally ok and nothing bad is going to happen to him from this.  We are here if you need more e-hugs!

  • imageveruca5839:
    Big hugs!  I can imagine it must be very hard to let your little one CIO.  But, I've also witnessed the opposite....friends of ours have a 21mo old who is now reverting and NOT sleeping or napping or allowing anyone to put her down ever.  Now that she's older she knows that if she stays up Mommy will stay with her...they're even reaching the point where my pg w/#2 friend is planning on getting a daybed for her to sleep on to put in the 21mo old's room in the hopes that that will help so that Mommy's always there (and that's probably one of the worst things they can do IMO).  They're terrified to try CIO, but I hope they try something to establish a sleeping routine because it's only going to get worse.  I see the struggle they're going through.  IMO better to nip this in the bud now than when they're older.  I hope things work out with Hunter!  Lots of luck with whatever you try!   

     

    I am going to try to say this without being snarky or b1chy becuase I do not mean to be.  Under 6 months there is no reason to let a baby cry for extended periods of time.  They just dont understand yet and have not mastered self soothing techniques.  This is the time when they learn that their needs will be met and the only way to communicate them is to cry.  A 21 month old can understand that they are a seperate person than mommy and should at that time be able to put themself to sleep.  There are ways to sleep train a baby (older than 6 months) without using CIO.

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