Sex & Romance
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Getting him to be more aggressive in bed
My DH is wonderful in bed, so this is not a complaint against him, I just want to know how I can get him to be a little more aggressive and rough. I like being smacked around a little and I have told him what I like and even talked him through it during sex, but he never seems to get into it.
Anyone have any advise or going through this themselves?
Re: Getting him to be more aggressive in bed
Maybe it's just not his thing...
He could be having issue going from loving husband who treats you with respect to calling you whore and pulling your hair.
For example, my DH would never say the "f" verb as to describe what we do in the sack, even though we may be doing it like rabbits. I tried and he just won't do it. He even got mad over it on couple ocassions.
Try role playing. Maybe him being a principal, you being a naughty school girl. That should get him going.
He "never seems to get into it" because he loves you and feels an emotional connection with you, so slapping you around and using agression is about a very different kind of sex that he simply does not associate with the woman he loves.
Personally, I would be very upset if a woman I loved wanted me to slap her around in bed and would find it very difficult to please her like this.
My advice as a man is to be very careful with this because you are playing with a corrosive acid! Just try to get him to be more passionate and be much more physical,...but 'sell' it to him as an expression of his love and emotion.......
..........Hopefully you can get him to be more rampant and "agressive" once he gets used to his passion being aroused, but make sure he gets plenty of tender loving as well or you are going to wish you had never messed things up,...be warned!
Because, obviously, asking my DH to slap my ass and bite my neck a little TOTALLY gives him justification to give me a black eye when I burn his dinner. And I'll deserve it because I asked for it.
WTF?
I am so glad that I read this post. I need to tell my H that as much as I enjoy the ass slapping and hair pulling, he needs to stop. I didn't realize that I was sending him mixed signals. I thought he was smart enough to know the difference between aggressive sex and not being an abusive D-bag!
Me thinks some one is in need of some sort of therapy. If you as a man thinks being aggressive in bed will lead a man to become abusive, I am very happy I am not your wife. You sound like a loose cannon.
Aggressive like more in control or rough? I think they're two different things.
I think I understand what bugle was trying to say. Some guys just don't know how to turn it off once they start getting more aggressive. Not all guys but it does happen.
Madonna Whore much for ya there, Buddy?
I'm not asking for that kind of sex all the time, but occasionally I do want to be smacked around a little. Having tender loving all the time gets boring. I just want to spice things up a bit.
As far as it leading to further abuse...seriously? Again, I don't want it like that all the time! That's like saying that having a few pieces of chocolate is going to make you gain 100lbs! Its ridiculous!
I have a similar situation; my husband is the submissive one in the bedroom. And, to make matters worse, I had always been with domineering, very masculine men prior to meeting my DH, so I was a little unused to being in charge.
Now, I'm perfectly happy taking charge most of the time, but when I do want him to be a little rough, I make it a game. I'll be a little rough with him first, biting and, tickling to incite a wrestling match, then I'll "fight" back. It works like a charm for us. It seems to get his blood pumping and him in the mood for pinning me down and playing. I hope that helps; it's the only thing that has worked for me.