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I reallly need cover letter HELP!

I am sooo bad at this kind of thing. 

I'm applying for a respiratory therapy externship at a local hospital.  I've been looking online trying to find a good sample cover letter I could generate mine from, but found nothing.  I have no experience in this field whatsoever. No healthcare related experience whatsoever.  So I have nothing like that to put in my cover letter.  I came up with this one myself (as in--I didn't use any samples or anything from the internet to help me) so I'm sure it's not very good.  But I don't know what to say!

If you have time, could you read this and give me some pointers!? What should I change? (and I know there's lots I can change I'm sure!) I know my second paragraph is definitely lacking..

 

 I was very excited to read about the Respiratory Therapy Extern position available at [hospital name].  I am just completing my first year as a Respiratory Therapy student at [college name] and am looking for a position that leverages my education and my ability to learn quickly and independently.  

 

I have an extensive background in customer service which has allowed me to gain excellent interpersonal and communication skills.  Working two part-time jobs while going to school full-time this semester has also proven my ability to multi-task and be organized.    

 

The long list of services provided by [hospital name], along with its solid reputation as being Wisconsin?s leading medical center makes it a great place to get hands-on experience in the healthcare industry.  This externship would provide me with the ideal opportunity to assist your organization and to expand my knowledge of the Respiratory Therapy field.  I look forward to speaking with you about this opportunity.

 

Sincerely,

 

Michelle

 

 

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Re: I reallly need cover letter HELP!

  • I'm not in health care...but it seems solid to me. :)
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  • I made a few edits Big Smile 

    I was very excited to read about the Respiratory Therapy Extern position available at [hospital name].  I am currently completing my first year as a Respiratory Therapy student at [college name] and looking for a position that leverages my education and ability to learn quickly and independently.  

     

    I have an extensive background in customer service through which I have developed excellent interpersonal and communication skills.  Working two part-time jobs while going to school full-time this semester has also proven my ability to multi-task and be organized.    

     

    The long list of services provided by [hospital name], along with its solid reputation as Wisconsin?s leading medical center makes it a great place to get hands-on experience in the healthcare industry.  This externship would provide me with the ideal opportunity to assist your organization and to expand my knowledge of the Respiratory Therapy field.  I look forward to speaking with you about this opportunity.

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  • jenthjenth member
    Looks good- I like how you addressed this particular hospital at the end, to show why you want to work there and that you are truly interested.  I think that's what you really want to do in a cover letter, just try to make yourself stand out.
  • I'm a recruiter and it is a solid letter :)
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