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NER - lawyers...giving family and friends legal advice
My parents do not seem to understand that just because I graduated law school, I do not know everything there is to know about law.
How do you deal? I just had an immensely frustrating call with my mother where we went back and forth forever on her trying to get me to advise her and my grandfather on his will, and me repeating that I couldn't and he needed a lawyer barred in his state who was an expert in this field.
She just can't get my ethical requirements and the limitations of my knowledge through her head no matter how often I repeat them.
Last week, my dad called about landlord/lease issues my sister was having, and in August my sister called with a job/HR problem.
It's getting out of control and driving me up the wall.
Does anyone have any advice on how to deal with this? Or just want to share in my misery?
Re: NER - lawyers...giving family and friends legal advice
isn't there a difference though between wanting legal advice and wanting to just know how the law works? My guess is that thats what people usually want to know.
The Bar assoc. has a basic law book for non-law people that DH's dad gave us for Christmas one year. Maybe thats a good fix? I'll try to find the link.
I'm not a lawyer, but my family does this to me with regards to some of their health issues. It's just gotten to the point where I've actually just gone ahead and found them contact information for who they need to see.
If it helps, relate it to the medical field... they might understand that. You know, something along the lines of "you're not going to go see a cardiologist for skin cancer... sure they're both doctors, but they've specialized into areas of expertise. Lawyers do the same thing. Feel free to ask me about (whatever you might be able to give them a general picture about), but wills and leases are not my area of expertise."
Sorry, I know it sucks. Good luck dealing with them. Feel free to commiserate with me any time you like
I can share in the misery.
A month ago my mom's cousin tried to convince me that I should do legal research and "write a letter" on her behalf regarding a federal workers comp issue she was having.
(1) Worker's comp is incredibly convoluted. Federal worker's comp is even more so.
(2) I know nothing of workers comp law.
(3) It would be completely unethical and illegal to act as her lawyer...since I'm not licensed yet!
She didn't get any of this. When I told her that law students don't typically learn workers comp law in law school her response was "well what did you learn in law school?" She also tried to tell me that she wouldn't call me her lawyer and she wouldn't tell anyone that I was helping her. It was the most awkward conversation EVER!!!! So I know how you are feeling.
Edit: Why are some of my words in green and underlined?
I think I can understand what you're going through. ?Since DH is a CPA his whole family assumes that he can do their taxes. ?Somehow they don't seem to understand that auditors are not tax experts. ?We use?turbo tax.?
That's better wording.
I think this is the book:
http://www.abanet.org/abastore/index.cfm?fm=Product.AddToCart&pid=2350246
I actually helped my dad with something in the past, but it was something small that I could handle on my own. Now they ask me about EVERYTHING.
It's kind of like asking a radiologist to perform open-heart surgery.
I really like the medical analogy. I'm going to remember that. My dad constantly asks about things. It's so annoying. 1) I've only been a lawyer for a year. 2) I'm not admitted in his state. 3) I work for the court system, so while I can pontificate about the summary judgment standard and know random bits about the duty to defend, lien law and everything in between, I'm an expert in nothing! I usually just give him some general answer and tell him that if he wants to do anything, he needs to get a lawyer.
Thankfully, my mom gets it and never asks me anything. My stepdad is a contractor and is constantly asked by friends to fix something as a favor, so I think they understand why it's rude to ask someone to do work for free.
On the will issue, you can note that your giving advise could compromise the validity of the will, as you might stand to inherit under it. On the other matters, I couldn't add anything better than pps said.
I did work for a friend on some legal trouble he was having when I was fresh out of law school. He turned out to be the client from hell and I had to withdraw from representing him (not that I ever intended to represent him; I thought the extent of my help would be making a couple of phone calls.) Needless to say, we're not friends anymore. So in case you're wavering on helping friends and family, let my cautionary tale help you resist the urge to cave!
I am going to start using this analogy. Perfect. My mother works in a hospital, so I think I'll just start countering all the questions with, "if I cough into the phone, can you diagnose me?"
Maybe that will help.
My sister's landlord problems are only going to get worse, and she actually lives in CA, so if I pass the bar, the headaches for me are only going to get worse. Ughhhhhh.... I need to set an hourly rate.
I'll speak in generalities if it's an area I know about... meaning, criminal law, family law, or a tiny tiny bit about employment law or landlord/tenant. If my parents got sued and wanted to know what to do, I'd tell them how to find an attorney and/or the deadlines for filing an answer and generally how to proceed, but I wouldn't handle the matter for them. Likewise, if someone in my family were to get divorced, I'd be fine offering some general information, but not representing anyone.
When I first got licensed, my dad thought it was really cool to have a lawyer in the family and would just randomly call me up and say "tell me about X." The other day he called me and asked me if a personal representative of an estate had to notarize anything to become the personal rep. He seemed baffled I had no idea.