Sex & Romance
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Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
what if he won't...
go down on me because he doesn't like it, but wants me to go down on him? I have no problem doing so, I enjoy it, but sometimes I would like him to return the favor. I mentioned asked him to once, but he hesitated so much before doing so that I just told him to forget it, if he doesn't want to. Is there anything that I can say or do to help him see that it is important to me? We have been married for 2 yrs and he has done it maybe twice...
Re: what if he won't...
He sounds like a selfish, hung up and immature jerk.
I'd stop giving BJs until he starts going down. Case closed.
I guess it depends why he doesn't like it? Is it the taste? the look? Does he not know what to do? does he think it's wrong?
It might be something that has an easy fix.
Does he still do things with his hands though? or will he use a toy on you? If he really hates going down on you I don't see any point in forcing it, I just don't see how that would make it good for either of you. And really if you didn't want to go down on him I don't think it would be looked that well upon if he tried to force you. If you like going down on him though I don't see any reason to stop(as long as you like doing it!) but he should be somehow making sure that you are satisfied pre-sex as well!
As Dan Savage says, oral is standard.
Man, I don't think I've EVER dated someone like this - it's not hard to find a dude who loves doing it.
Did he do it before you were married??
I wouldn't have married any man who had this double-standard issue. With sex, money, etc.
What's good for the goose...
I know some friends have guys that only go down when they are in the shower or freshly clean. Have you tried that? or flavored lubes for him? You need to stop going down on him if he refuses for you.
ditto and same here!
my DH asked me to do it more often. I told him when I actually got sex more often this would naturally happen for him. He got the hint.
I thought most guys really liked this because they really like the view and seeing their girl get off from that vantage point...
Weird, has he said why he doesn't like it?
I'm confused why you married him then? I mean, I'm not that into oral, but that would be offensive to me, and whether or not you had sexual relations before marriage, I'd think you'd discuss things like that.
Obviously, what's done is done, but while this is really ***-ish of him, I also think its pretty lame to expect someone to change after you married him.
Have you told him how this makes you feel?
Have you ever done 69? That way he gets what he wants and you get what you want. A compromise.
Young and in Love.
11.07.09
Um....NO.
There definitely needs to be a compromise. Your H sounds like a selfish prick...
Just to play devil's advocate here but what if things were reversed and it was you who hated going down? Would anyone on here be saying he should stop going down on you until you start doing it to him? Would anyone on her advocate forcing you to do it? Would anyone on here call you a selfish jerk for not doing your H even though he does you?
Seriously, think about how you would want him to handle things if it were reversed.
You can also find out what it is about going down on you that he doesn't like. I mean no offense but is it just you or does he have a problem with all vajayjays? Maybe there's an odor or taste that makes him gag. Maybe he has some kind of religious hang up about it. Maybe there's too much hair. You will never know until you ask him.
I would totally say that.
This. I really only like receiving oral after a shower! Maybe this would help him? I'd just ask. I personally don't like giving oral, but I do it for my H because he likes it and I love to do something like that for him. I'm sad for you that your husband can't feel the same way!