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BR: I feel so bad for my cousin (kinda long)
so the background on my cousin... she married her HS sweetheart. back in HS when they were dating her father didn't like the guy and told her to stop dating him. well, you know how teens are...she wasn't going to have it and continued dating him behind her father's back. fast forward to her graduate years and she finally tells her dad that they are still dating. at this point she is about to graduate from dental school and he has already graduated with an engineering degree and working at a great high paying job. her dad is furious that she has been dating him behind his back this whole time and as an excuse says that this man is not "good enough" for his daughter b/c he is "just an engineer." (we come from a huge family of doctors and dentists...her father is a doctor, her brother is a doctor, and her sister was in dental school until she met her husband and they got married at which point she became a SAHM.) so the poor guy wanted to show my uncle that he is willing to do anything for my cousin b/c he loves her, so he quits his job and enrolls in dental school!!! despite all this, her father is still not willing to forgive the fact that they have been going behind his back this whole time. so, a few years ago, they finally got engaged and got married, w/o her father's approval. everyone in the family begged him to forgive them and put it behind him but he won't let go of the grudge and refused to even go to their wedding.
my grandma passed away last year and one of her dying wishes was for her son to forgive his daughter and to put this all behind them but even then my uncle refused to talk to my cousin at the funeral 
so the current situation.... after her DH graduated from dental school they got stationed about an hour from palm springs, CA b/c her DH had to pay for dental school through a contract w/the navy. they are living there now and her parents and sister live here in Dallas. she just had her baby last Friday via induction/c-section and I just got off the phone w/mom to find out that her mom isn't coming out to CA to help her after all. i asked my mom why, when her mom just retired a few months ago and has plenty of time and money.... my mom then informs me that my uncle won't "allow" my aunt to make the trip out there...b/c he is still holding this grudge against my cousin. OMG!!! i don't even get him not wanting to know his own grandchild in the first place, but i really don't get him not allowing his wife to... i am soooo mad and sad for her. thankfully, while her immediately family is in dallas, the rest of our extended family is in CA about 2 hrs away so they are all going to take turns to come visit her and help her out...but i still feel so bad for her. this is supposed to be such a happy time for them and instead she has to deal with this crap from her dad again. i swear he is going to go to his grave upset with her and i feel so badly for both of them.
i've already called and left a message w/my cousin to let her know that i'm here if she needs someone to talk to but i wish i could do more. i don't really think there is much that anyone can do to change my uncle's mind so i guess there is really no point in this post, except to kind of vent about my stupid uncle ...
Re: BR: I feel so bad for my cousin (kinda long)
That's awful. This grudge reminds me of somefthing similar going on between Joseph's father and half-sister...it's sad because his health is failing and in all likelihood he'll die without resolving it because he's so stubborn. and her mother has taken her husband's side in al of it and is not talking to my SIL either.
Hopefully your cousin can let it go as much as she can...and surround herself with people her love her unconditionally. She has a loving husband who obviously would go to the ends of the earth for her and now they have their own child to focus on and love. Her father is the one who is losing out...and for her mother...I cannot imagine what it must be like to be torn between her husband and her own child and now grandchild. I could never turn my back on Libby, even if Joseph did.
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