June 2009 Weddings
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WWYD?

I think I've mentioned my neighbor issues before but this situation is different. The couple that lives downstairs is very early twenties, constantly on again off again (currently off) from what we see on her FB status (she's from DH's hometown and he was friends with her older sister). They have some really nasty fights where the guy totally loses his shiit and screams obscenities and slams the doors etc. It's annoying to hear but what can you do? Well last night, we were sound asleep and he woke us up at 4:30am with another one of these rage style screaming tantrums at her. I mean, lots of "eff you, you're a selfish biitch, blah blah, scream scream, slam slam" business. We could hear her half yelling/half crying at him to stop. It was over after about 10 minutes but man was it naaaasty. It seems to me that he's staying there despite the two of them breaking up but I think this might be the source of the argument. Well, seems that way from the snippets I get between the expletives. Honestly it made me sick to my stomach to listen to and I seriously am worried about this girl. I don't want to be THAT neighbor that knew something was very wrong but never said anything until after he's beat the crap out of her or worse. This guy has serious anger/rage issues.

Our current plan is for DH to talk to the officers he works with, then maybe go to the apt. manager. DH works for the police dept. and knows quite a few of the family violence people, so he's going to ask their opinion. I'm wondering if its worth it to mention it to the apartment manager too? She's very nice and very discreet so I'm comfortable telling her - just not sure if she can do anything. I'm 99% sure this guy is not on the lease and it's technically only her apartment. I don't want to get her in trouble at all - but her (ex)BF has got to go. Nobody should have to live like that, and it's ridiculous for me to lose sleep due to his issues.

WWYD?


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Re: WWYD?

  • Screaming obscenities in the middle of the night is disturbing the peace. If this were ongoing and causing me concern, I would call the police next time it starts up.  Doesn't always solve anything, but at least it would let them know that people are aware of what's going on. Plus, depending on the situation when the police arrive, they're likely to escort him from the premises to "cool off".
    We have so much time, and so little to do! Strike that, reverse it.
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  • Ditto Leigha. 

     

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    Lucy Elizabeth 10.27.12
  • I agree I would call the police if I heard them fighting like that in the middle of the night.  Not only because I was worried about her but also because I would be pissed that I had to listen to it again. 
  • Ditto Leigha.  I would let the apt. manager know from the perspective of "He is disruptive to me" but if you end up helping someone out of a bad situation they aren't able to help themselves out of, icing on the cake.
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  • I think your DH's plan sounds solid.

    As far as telling the apartment manager, I agree with everyone else -- the only thing that "matters" is that he's being loud and disruptive to you as a resident. Intent and situation "don't matter," just the yelling does. That is something that should be brought the your manager's attention.

    (I put "matter" and "don't matter" in quotes because obviously I think the situation itself is horrible and important, but in the grand scheme of things, he could be shouting about sporting events or at a spider on the floor or at something entirely irrelevant -- the point is, if it's at 4:30 a.m. and it's loud enough to wake you, that should be brought to the manager's attention.)

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  • Update:

    DH went and talked with some detectives he knows over at the domestic/family violence unit. When he gave them this guy's name, they were like, "oh yeah, we've dealt with him before." UGH. Dude has past assault charges and there was a recent situation involving the girl he lives with and another girl he was cheating on her with. Apparently girl B vandalized girl A's car with condoms and spermicide? WEIRD.

    Long story short - the detectives said they'd go check on things with these two today and I'll stop by and talk to the apt. manager this afternoon. 

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