Sex & Romance
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Hi I'm new here and I need some help don't know what to do anymore I feel absolutely terrible

I have no sex drive.  The meer thought of sex bothers me.  When I got pregnant my sex drive went away completely.  By the end of my pregnancy we had sex maybe twice and that was right at the end b/c I heard that it can help the cervix and I was almost 40 weeks along, plus I felt terrible for my fiance. It hurt, and I didn't get mine, but I didn't care. However, now I still don't want to have sex.  We haven't had sex even once since I had DS, whose 4 mnths old next week.  What do I do?  I feel terrible, It makes me cry, I try not to let my fiance see.  He always seems to be mentioning something sexual and I just can't stand it.  I think it's going to cause a huge problem.  I love him so much, but just can't bring myself to do anything sexual.  I don't even want to make out.  I don't want to french kiss, and he's hott!  He's the best looking man I've ever been with.  I think that I look good, I'm in my pre-pregnancy clothes and everything.  I just don't know.  It's not like i'm thinking about sex with anyone else...that's not happening.  I rave about him at work.  When men hit on me I tell them I have the most amazing man ever.  I'm a bartender and I never see a man that looks as good as mine.  It makes me smile, but I still don't want to have sex.  Now i've never been a romantic person, infact romance has always kind of made me uncomfortable.  DF has tried romance, he likes it, I tell him thanks for the sweet stuff and all but it doesn't get me in the mood.  It's actually made me nauseas before, weird huh?  I'm on ortho-tri-cyclen and I've been on it before.  BC has normally never had an effect on me.  I don't know who to talk to.  No one I know has this problem.  I can't take it.  I'm sorry this was so long, but I don't have anyone else to tell....I've been keeping this pent up for awhile hoping it would go away.

Re: Hi I'm new here and I need some help don't know what to do anymore I feel absolutely terrible

  • You should probably talk to your doctor.
  • imagenixandjekyll:
    I have no sex drive.  The meer thought of sex bothers me.  When I got pregnant my sex drive went away completely.  By the end of my pregnancy we had sex maybe twice and that was right at the end b/c I heard that it can help the cervix and I was almost 40 weeks along, plus I felt terrible for my fiance. It hurt, and I didn't get mine, but I didn't care. However, now I still don't want to have sex.  We haven't had sex even once since I had DS, whose 4 mnths old next week.  What do I do?  I feel terrible, It makes me cry, I try not to let my fiance see.  He always seems to be mentioning something sexual and I just can't stand it.  I think it's going to cause a huge problem.  I love him so much, but just can't bring myself to do anything sexual.  I don't even want to make out.  I don't want to french kiss, and he's hott!  He's the best looking man I've ever been with.  I think that I look good, I'm in my pre-pregnancy clothes and everything.  I just don't know.  It's not like i'm thinking about sex with anyone else...that's not happening.  I rave about him at work.  When men hit on me I tell them I have the most amazing man ever.  I'm a bartender and I never see a man that looks as good as mine.  It makes me smile, but I still don't want to have sex.  Now i've never been a romantic person, infact romance has always kind of made me uncomfortable.  DF has tried romance, he likes it, I tell him thanks for the sweet stuff and all but it doesn't get me in the mood.  It's actually made me nauseas before, weird huh?  I'm on ortho-tri-cyclen and I've been on it before.  BC has normally never had an effect on me.  I don't know who to talk to.  No one I know has this problem.  I can't take it.  I'm sorry this was so long, but I don't have anyone else to tell....I've been keeping this pent up for awhile hoping it would go away.

     

    A trip to your gyn is in order.  Your hormones are all whacky because of your pregnancy.

    Please tell him how you're feeling.

     The BCP is probably adding more wood to the fire. Have you guys considered condoms or some other barrier method, like a diaphragm?

    This is fixable. GL.:)

  • I got pregnant by only using condoms and it didn't break lol.  So we'd lake more than one form of BC until one of us gets fixed ha ha.
  • imagenixandjekyll:
    I got pregnant by only using condoms and it didn't break lol.  So we'd lake more than one form of BC until one of us gets fixed ha ha.

    That's an option, too -- either you get a tubal ligation or he gets snipped.

    Or you can use a condom and a diaphragm both together.

  • Could it be PPD?
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  • Definitely sounds like a trip to the doc is order, because it does sound like your hormones are all whacky.  Between the post-baby hormones and the BCP, that's a lot of hormones to deal with.  I suspect that your doc can help you get it all under control.  GL!
    When it's all said and done, what matters most is your relationships with other people; without good friends and family, what's the point?
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  • You just had a baby. Your hormones are all out of whack and your adding more hormones into the mix with your BCP. No wonder you feel crazy. Most women do after having a baby.

     You need to visit with your doctor and have this chat with him. He will be able to give you advice, much better than anyone on this board can.

    If you are positively sure you and your FI don't want anymore children, than one or both of you need to get fixed.

  • imageThe_Quiet_One:
    Definitely sounds like a trip to the doc is order, because it does sound like your hormones are all whacky.  Between the post-baby hormones and the BCP, that's a lot of hormones to deal with.  I suspect that your doc can help you get it all under control.  GL!

     This. :) Good luck!

    "Love is an act of endless forgiveness; a tender look that becomes a habit." Lilypie First Birthday tickers
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