April 2008 Weddings
Dear Community,

Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.

If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.

Thank you.

Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.

"Friend" vent - thanks FB!

So my oldest friend (friends for 20 yrs) got engaged last week. I kind of wish I didn't check FB on my downtime, but not sure if I would have known any other way. I find out on FB because I'm friends with his woman on there. I text him right away and he was like sorry, she's just that fast, I asked like 2 seconds ago... I was able to not dwell on it during vacation, but now it's kind of bugging me. I mean, we've been friends 20 yrs, I'm the only one of his friends who gave a gift for his baby shower, who wished him a happy birthday and I get treated like an acquaintance. Oh, and also, I didn't find out they had the baby until a thank you note w/a baby pic in it a month after it happened. And I didn't know about the baby thing except for FB. Wow, now after getting that out, I realize exactly the advice I've been giving others. It's really a slap in the face to finally realize I have no real friends anymore.

Re: "Friend" vent - thanks FB!

  • I am so so sorry Nicole. I hate that for you...I just don't understand people some times!
  • Oh Nicole I'm sorry your friend is being like that. It's really hard when friends grow up and move on or away and struggle to keep in touch. It's sad. It really is. I'm sorry he's not keeping up his end of the friendship and keeping in touch with you and sharing his exciting news. Hang in there, hopefully he'll come around but you've always got us :)
  • Aw...that really sucks Nicole! I hate that you are going through this. I know how you feel, and my advice would be that if your friend is worth fighting for than fight! Good luck girl!
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker BabyFruit Ticker
  • It sucks to feel like close friends have pulled away, but all relationships ebb and flow.  This may just be a temporary thing.  Just try to be there for him when he needs it and keep reaching out every now and then so you guys can still connect sometimes. 

    My BFF from third grade and I have a pretty big fight a few years ago and it took us a year to even talk to each other again.  But there was a bond there that neither of us really wanted to let go, so we started building our friendship again.  It took some time and there were some bumps, but we're doing really well now.

    Also, I feel like I'm in the middle of it with my other BFF.  There was a huge misunderstanding last year and things have just been going back and forth with her.  I am just riding it out to see what happens, but I am hoping things come around like it did with my other friend.

    Long post I know, but I just want to emphasize that I understand!  :)

  • I am so sorry that you are going through this. I am struggling myself with changing friendships. What I have continued to tell myself is that people grow and change as do friendships/relationships. Hopefully you can stay connected with him for important events and occasions, even though you may not be as close as you once were. My mom always tells me that if you have 1-2 truly great friends in your life as an adult, you are blessed. When I consider this board and the amazing women on it, I realize how blessed we all are!
  • Do you measure the value/depth of your friendship by how soon someone shares info with you? It sounds like your friend is just not the type to share news quickly and that you aren't in contact very often. That sucks but it doesn't mean he's not your friend. I can understand feeling hurt but it sounds like you may be overreacting a little. Are you going to end the friendship or talk to him about it?

  • Thanks ladies. I think I'll try to talk to him about it. Kendra, I probably wouldn't have been so upset, but we have a ton of friends in common that he told when stuff was going on. I had also just talked with him 2 weeks prior to the birth and let him know to text or something when the baby was born. I don't know, it's just hard seeing everyone else keep in touch, even when he moved out of state, but when I did, it seemed like people only talk to me when I ask to get together because I'm going to be back in the area.
  • imageMrs.Bunches:
    Thanks ladies. I think I'll try to talk to him about it. Kendra, I probably wouldn't have been so upset, but we have a ton of friends in common that he told when stuff was going on. I had also just talked with him 2 weeks prior to the birth and let him know to text or something when the baby was born. I don't know, it's just hard seeing everyone else keep in touch, even when he moved out of state, but when I did, it seemed like people only talk to me when I ask to get together because I'm going to be back in the area.
    I completely understand how you feel. Since moving a couple hours from all of my friends, I am the one who always has to initiate get togethers and conversations...no one calls me or comes to see me...yet I am also the one that gets crap dumped on her for not talking enough or visiting enough. Ugh. I feel ya, and I sympathize.
Sign In or Register to comment.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards