April 2008 Weddings
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Annoyed with my mom

So I told my mom yesterday that I'm pregnant. She said she had a feeling I was pregnant and was happy, but not overly excited. My mom isn't an overly excited person anyways. We went out to dinner and we were talking about baby names. I said our boy will be Jack. She insisted his name should be Jackson. I said I don't like that name and just want him to be Jack. Then she said people will think his name is John if I don't name him Jackson. I said those people can think what they want. My kids name is going to be Jack. There's plenty of kids named Jack out there and who cares what people think? Then I mentioned my girl names and said Caroline was my first choice. She then laughed and said "You naming her after Caroline on Little House on the Prairie?" WTF? I've never even seen that show and why would I name her after that? I told her that. I said we would call her Carrie and she said "Oh, like Carrie on Sex and the City?" Again, WTF? I let her comments slide off my back, but I'm still really annoyed today. She had something to say about every name I mentioned. Why does she have to interject her opinion on my kids name? It's not her baby... I'm wondering if I should say somethiing to her? I value her opinion, but don't need her little snide comments about our choices for the next eight months. Note: I'm super close to my mom, so it's not like we have a distant relationship or get into arguments.

WWA08 do??

Re: Annoyed with my mom

  • I'm sorry to hear that! But congrats & H&H 9 months...I'm only a few days ahead of you! Yay for more A08 babies!
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  • Ugh, the lovely comment to everything convo. If it were me and my mom, I would bite back with sarcastic, semi-joking responses to give a slight warning (sounds like I would do an animal warning growl, lol, not quite though)

     But, since you are close with her, I'd say let yourself calm for a day or two, then just openly discuss what you felt during that conversation, and that you'd appreciate support and not total opposition for everything you express that you have planned for your baby. I hope you're able to talk it out and it's smooth sailing from here on out!

  • I vote for never saying a word to her about names
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  • imageg8orell:
    I'm sorry to hear that! But congrats & H&H 9 months...I'm only a few days ahead of you! Yay for more A08 babies!

    Did I miss a BFP post? Congrats!

     Alicia, I would let the comments slide...don't get too worked up over it. Smile

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  • imageaprilbridezilla19:
    I vote for never saying a word to her about names

     This.  Other than you girls no one knew what Loela's name was going to be, for that reason.  People (even moms- should keep their comments to themselves)

     Or to be a total B (and not saying there is anything is wrong with your name)  If she says anything else about your potential names, I would say " And you think Alicia is any better?" unless it holds deep meaning then bite your tongue

    Party!!!

     

  • I'm close with my mom too. I would have came out & said to her exactly what you told us. I speak my mind to my family. I'm sorry she had snide comments. I love the name Jack!!! Super cute! Does Andrew like the names too?
  • I would say something now. Your mom is going to have a lot of helpful advice, but you don't need to deal with the comments. My mom hated the name Josephine and every time we got together she would think of different variations of the name. I finally said to her, mom, that will be her name if its a girl. And she stopped. Funny thing is that everything josie has that is monogramed is from my mom, so I guess she got over it. And your mom will too! :)
  •     This is such a funny issue- I wanted to name Liam Jack at first- but I was going to name him John with the nickname Jack (Michael's dad and bro are both John, but not nicknamed Jack). Michael's mom (who is divorced from FIL) made a comment that the family has too many Johns already, so we couldn't name him John.

    1. As if this decision has anything to do with her.

    2. As if it wouldn't be nice for us to name our child in honor of his gpa, uncle (actually her own brother is John too!).

       This was the last conversation we had about names. Well, SHE tried to bring up the conversation for the whole pregnancy. We shot her down again and again.  She refused to believe the truth, which was that we truly waited until we "met" Liam to name him. 

        If there is a #2, there will be no discussion of names again. Period. I am debating whether we would find out the sex the second time too- but if we do, we aren't telling either.

        I agree with Jen that you should tell her now that it is your decision and you don't want input. 

  • jenthjenth member
    I agree with the previous posts, don't talk about names.  I have a sister who was born when I was 16 and my parents asked my other sister and I for input on a name; what a fiasco!  LOL. (Especially with us being teenagers, the reaction to most of the names my parents were considering was pretty bad.  And I'm sure we were pretty mean.) They gave up and didn't even tell us what her name would be until after she was born and it worked a lot better. 
  • imageAndie41:

    imageg8orell:
    I'm sorry to hear that! But congrats & H&H 9 months...I'm only a few days ahead of you! Yay for more A08 babies!

    Did I miss a BFP post? Congrats!

     

    This is exactly what I was wondering!! Congrats!

    Alicia, if it is bothering you that much then I would definitely say something to her and if she wants to keep on then no more baby name talk!!

  • I'm sorry your mom is not as supportive as you'd like. My mom makes comments like that but she's really supportive. I just ignore her and share less with her when I feel like I can't take her comments.
  • This is hard for me especially since I'm sure I'll be talking to my mom about these kinds of things, but it may be a good idea to keep your name ideas to yourself.  If you and DH like it that's all that matters.  Don't give the naysayers a chance to ruin your happiness and excitement.  In this case, since it's your mom, I think I'd be up front about it and tell her how it hurt your feelings.  Hopefully she'll apologize and be understanding. 
  • I agree with pp...I would just let it go and keep names to yourself from here on out. If your mom brings it up again, just tell her that you have some names picked out already and are keeping it a surprise until the baby is born. That is what we are doing with our next!
  • imageaprilbridezilla19:
    I vote for never saying a word to her about names

    Ditto...I hate the conflicting meanings of names to other people. If it's a name that you love, then use it.

    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
  • Moms will be moms and interject their opinion even if it's not wanted or warranted. I'm sorry she's not overly excited, but hopefully she'll get that way.

    If you want to say something now is the time because the longer it goes on the worse it's going to be. Just be polite and say while I value your opinion if you don't like our choice just remember that this is our child and any and all decisions will be made by Andrew and myself. Short, sweet, and too the point.

    And I'm sorry she's opinionated about the names. I think Jack's a fine name and I know people with that name and they might actually be named Jackson but I donno, but I will say I never met a Jack and wondered if his name was John. I think Caroline is a beautiful name and it's just fine to be named after LHOTP because I'm named after the baby (Carrie Ann) and I for one love my name no matter where it comes from (thought people think I get my name from the song) 

  • I think both of those names are beautiful. 

    You have a long ways to go, so you may even change your mind.  Either way, I would totally keep names to myself too.  Don't people always give unsolicited advice for anything and everything?  I imagine it feels way worse when it's about your own child but either remind yourself to block it out, or don't bring up the topic with people who will assert their opinions on everything.  Hard thing to do with Mom, I know.

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