ok this is for both the moms and the moms to be....
i have two different scenarios for you and every time it happens i think i need to write a post about it...but then i forget LOL
this happened today so i'm posting right away before i forget to again ![]()
scenario #1
your baby is either quietly sleeping or contently playing on his/her bouncer/swing/activity mat so you finally decide to take that shower that you've been putting off ![]()
you get a fresh set of clothes out, undress, and as you turn on the shower water and take a step into the shower/tub, you hear the baby start to cry!! what do you do? do you stop, get re-dressed and go attend to your baby? or do you jump into the shower, take the quickest shower in history, figuring "it's now or never" for the shower...and then get to your baby? ![]()
scenario #2
this one starts out the same...
your baby is either quietly sleeping or contently playing on his/her
bouncer/swing/activity mat so you finally decide to take that shower
that you've been putting off ![]()
this time you actually get into the shower and start washing your hair. you finish washing your hair and put the conditioner in and let it sit for a few minutes while you shave. then you start shaving. it's been over a week (or more
) since you last shaved your legs and of course at this point you hear the baby start to cry! what do you do? quickly rinse the conditioner out of your hair and leave your legs half shaved and run to the baby? or do you finish shaving (which will take several more minutes) while you can hear your baby wailing, and then get to him/her?
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I have to say that a nice LONG, hot shower is one of the only times i feel i have any good "me time" so it totally sucks when I am in the middle of a shower and have to cut it short. usually miss A is really good about entertaining herself and playing on her activity mat while i shower, but occasionally she'll start crying. for scenario #1, i always stop, get re-dressed and attend to her and just shower later. for scenario #2 i usually rush through the rest of my shower and get out... and i don't bother to finish shaving LOL
i should also mention that when she was under 3 months, i never showered while i was home alone w/her (i'd wait for DH to come home). she was too young to entertain herself and i always worried i would wake her by turning on the shower...or even if i didn't, i didn't want scenario #2 to happen and have her wailing while i rush out of the shower before i am done. now that she is a little older, i am ok w/her crying for a little bit, but i still rush to get to her. I just hate hearing her cry!! that is one thing that i did not anticipate before being a mom... how hard it would be to hear your baby cry. I swear that 1 minute feels like 10!!!
Re: BR poll - WWYD?
In both cases I would probably hop out naked/wet to spy on the baby (his bassinet and crib are 2 seconds away) to assess the crying and possibly see if I could soothe him quickly -- like with a paci. If he seemed OK even with the crying, I'd probably jump back in and quickly finish my shower.
Showers are precious to me b/c I feel like hell w/o them, so I'd do my best to get them done as long as baby was safe!
I'm not a mom yet, but I've always imagined I would try to get the baby happy/playing in the bathroom doorway or just outside it (in a bouncy chair or something else that prevents wandering/falling), then get into the shower and probably sing the entire time I was in there so the LO would know I wasn't really gone! If crying started, I could peek out to see if I really needed to exit the shower or just let him/her cry for a few more minutes.
I should note that I take 3-minute showers on normal days, so I'm never in there for long.
This is what I would do. When DD was little, she wanted to held all of the time. For the most part, if she wasn't in my arms, she was crying. I eventually learned that although I hated to hear her cry, sometimes letting her cry it out was the best solution. Now that she is a toddler, if she gets cranky as I'm about to shower I just let join me. She loves to sit at the bottom and splash!
haha, the second scenario just happened to me today. I couldn't wait to take a shower b/c we were going over to my friends house for a "play date" (aka mom's gtg since they babes are too young to "play"). I finished as quickly as I possibly could. I knew he was safely strapped into his rocker (like a bouncy) right in the doorway and had just been fed and changed - I peeked out, made eye contact and then tried to sing, he was still crying, but at least he knew I was close by and the cries were not very intense.
For the first scenario, that is a little harder. At Jack's age I feel like I need to comfort him right away and for as long as necessary - in the coming months I might assess the situation, make sure he has toys, paci, soothe for a little while etc if I thought it would help and and hope I could calm him quickly. I would make sure he's close (either in the bathroom or in the doorway and could hear me at all times just to know I'm close by). I do that even now, sometimes if I'm changing his diaper in his crib he can't see me as I move across the room, but I keep talking to him and that seems to keep him calm.
At his current age if he's not already in the bathroom with me (I usually lay him on a towel or blanket, he's awake and happy and I keep him happy by singing in my horrible off key voice, haha) I would put my robe back on and soothe as long as needed and hope a nap comes easily and then try for a shower again later.
Cute poll
In scenario one I probably would have gotten out of the shower with a towel on and checked on her to see if there was a problem... if she needed to be soothed or if she was just fussing for no reason (and might settle down on her own). If she settles down on her own then I would rush to shower.
In scenario 2, I probably would have started talking and singing to her and see if she would calm down while I RUSHED to finish my shower. I would also try to read the cry ... if your baby is anything like Brooke, she has a cry which means if-you-don't-come-get-me-now-I'll-cry-louder and a fussy/tantrum-ish cry that will settle on its own if no one pays attention.
And I agree-- it is SO hard to hear them cry!
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I get a kick out of this post! Kai is over 2 and I STILL dont get a shower or bath to myself. He is usually at the door crying or yelling "Mom". So I cave out of habit of doing scenario # 1 since he was born.
I would say that I wish I was stronger and let him cry but I still cant. However when I needed that spa day (i.e. shower) I would but him on the floor by the shower or in that little bouncer thingy. It worked long enough as long as I kept talking to him and he could hear my voice.
Hmm. I have different answers for different ages!
0-2 months (on maternity leave): I had either my mom of DH at home with me, so I was able to give her to someone when I took a shower.
2-4 months (still on maternity leave): I put Alexa in her infant bouncer and put the bouncer in the bathroom doorway or in the bathroom with me. Usually I did this when she napped. If she woke up when I got in, I'd wait. If she woke up as I showered, I'd finish quickly, but I'd still finish. So that means I'd let her fuss a little. She rarely screamed, usually just a little fussing. I wasn't about to jump out all wet and soapy! She was always OK and I could see her! Singing didn't work...
4-6 months (still on maternity leave): Alexa started to get into more of a routine around 3 months, which is when we also transitioned her to her crib. So I would time my shower with her first nap. Once she was in her crib and asleep, I'd jump in. I usually had plenty of time. If it was not nap time but I needed to shower, I'd put her mobile on and be fast. If she started to cry as I jumped in, I'd grab my towel and go check on her, wind up the mobile again, and be faster. If I was showering and I heard her cry, I'd finish up quickly. Either case, I'd finish up and dry off and if that meant that she'd cry or fuss for a few minutes, that's fine. Not ideal, but OK.
I would note that I showered every day but about two days while out on maternity leave. I shaved every day. I washed my hair every over day (it's long and doesn't need daily washing).
6-8 months (back at work, present day): I shower before Alexa wakes up, while she is having her morning nap or I put her in her crib with a paci and a bunch of toys and she just plays. No crying... If she wakes up, she hangs out or fusses a little, never screams immediately upon awakening. If she did, I'd probably think she made a big explosive diaper, so I'd hurry up so I'd have the joy of attending to her... or if DH is home, I'd slow down so that he would have the pleasure of finding out the source of her screaming. :-)
Malia & Dave & Alexa
Happily married since 2-17-08! Three since 9-9-09!
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I would do what you do but I've never taken a shower with Ashton awake and not in the bathroom with me either in his bouncer when he was little or in his jumparoo now that he is old. I usually will wait until he is asleep if I can. In the mornings I pray he stays asleep while I am in the shower. If he wakes up I finish as fast as I can.
I too love my long, hot showers so I'd rather wait until Adam gets home so I get to enjoy it.
This is my approach as well. Luckily, I can get a nice long shower most days since I either nurse her back to sleep in the morning before showering or she's still sleeping so I can get up, shower and then crawl back into bed for 15-20 minutes and nurse her. Some evenings I'll leave her with DH or my mom and have a shower. And lately, I just get into the bath with her...I don't get a nice relaxing bath or anything but at least I get a little cleaner while giving her a bath too!
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