October 2009 Weddings
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would you be offended??

Here's the back story.  One branch of my cousins on my dad's side grew up far away from us (but still in the same state) and we didn't see them much.  My sister and I both got married last year and cousins came to both which I'm so happy about because they're tons of fun and I missed them terribly!  One of them is getting married this summer and I plan to be there.  Here's where it gets a little complicated.  Because they're from a pretty small tight knit community, most of their hometown is coming to the wedding.  Guest list is at 400 or close to it.  There isn't a church big enough that they liked so they're going to bride's hometown church... 90 miles away from the reception in Sioux Falls. 

So - I am driving from here to Sioux Falls which is easily 3 hours and then drive another hour and a half to get to the church, another hour and a half back, and then leave and drive another 3 hours back home again the next day.  If you were the bridal couple, would you be offended if we just said we'd be at the reception?  I want to be there to celebrate with them but it is really a ton of road time. 

 

Re: would you be offended??

  • Wait, is the reception an hour and a half away from where the ceremony is or just an hour and a half away from where you're staying in Sioux Falls?  If it's the former, I know they want to accommodate a large number of people, but that's downright inconsiderate.

    If that is the case, I would not be offended if you only attended the reception.  I think they're expecting a lot from people to spend 3 hours total driving time for their wedding and should understand if people aren't up to it.

    image
    Knitting Blog
    Updated 3-12
  • The Reception is an hour and a half away from the ceremony...  I agree, inconsiderate but wasn't sure if I was alone in that sentiment.  I couldn't dream of asking any of my guests to stay at the hotel block in Sioux Falls, drive the hour and a half for a 30 minute ceremony and then ask them to drive another hour and a half back. 
  • Yikes.  What were they thinking?  It would have been kinder to scale back the guest list than make everyone drive that much.

    I think you're totally within reason to skip the ceremony and I doubt you'll be the only one to do so.  But then with 400 people in attendance, I doubt you'll be missed THAT much. Stick out tongue

    image
    Knitting Blog
    Updated 3-12
  • Their plans are definitely inconsiderate as Reine pointed out and you're already feeling.  Just go to the reception--if they get upset, explain your POV (and explain it probably applies to multiple people).  They're crazy for thinking it's ok to do that to people.  Why don't they hold the ceremony at the reception site since the reception site is big enough?
    Matt loves Munkii!!!
  • From what I hear, the reception site is the kind of place where they hang jackelopes on the walls... Tongue Tied  Could be an interesting weekend!   I have until August to put on my party face.  Party!!!
  • Yyyyyyeah... gotta agree on the inconsiderate part.  That's pretty lame.  Is there really no place closer? 

    I wouldn't be surprised if there are 400 people at the wedding and 100 at the reception just because of this. 

  • What's a jackelope?
  • imageCipolla2Be:
    What's a jackelope?

    image 

    image
    Knitting Blog
    Updated 3-12
  • Seriously, Cipolla?  "What is a jackelope?" (said in snotty, toned voice)  You are soooo unworldly!  They're cute, cuddly, and have horns!  What's not to love? 

    Witty, take pictures, pretty, pretty please.  Dress up the jackelope for me :) 

    Matt loves Munkii!!!
  • imagemunkii:

    Witty, take pictures, pretty, pretty please.  Dress up the jackelope for me :) 

    This times a million!

    And you are completely within reason to only attend the reception. Their request is ridiculous.

  • imageReinedumonde:

    imageCipolla2Be:
    What's a jackelope?

    image 

    LOL.....I wasn't expecting a picture....ok a jack rabbit and an antelope....Got it.  And I agree with everything that was said.  They should know better than to inconvenience EVERYONE like that.  I would just go to the reception,  unless they reimburse you for mileage...

  • imagemunkii:

    Seriously, Cipolla?  "What is a jackelope?" (said in snotty, toned voice)  You are soooo unworldly!  They're cute, cuddly, and have horns!  What's not to love? 

    Witty, take pictures, pretty, pretty please.  Dress up the jackelope for me :) 

    BAHAHAHA!....said exactly in a snotty toned voice...  I didn't know what the crap they were! 

  • Better idea, request "Run Like an Antelope" starting at minute 8.30.  Take the jackelopes off the wall and start dancing with them.  Your H can take pics of that.
    Matt loves Munkii!!!
  • imagewittyschaffy:
    From what I hear, the reception site is the kind of place where they hang jackelopes on the walls... Tongue Tied  Could be an interesting weekend!   I have until August to put on my party face.  Party!!!

    Jackelopes?  Are they also serving turducken? Giving out "Singing Bass" as wedding favors?

  • My cousin is the groom and his mother is pretty horrified but can't do much about it since she's the mom of the groom.  The bride also thinks that they're going to get all dressed up in their nice outfits, take pictures in Sioux Falls by the river (which is actually really really pretty), and THEN drive over to the church for more photos.  hmmm, rumpled much are we??

     I'll totally take pictures of this event!  Lol - I might just take down a jackelope if there is enough liquid courage involved.  My family is pretty crazy so I might actually get help from my Aunts and Uncles!  Stick out tongue

  • Sorry to chime in late here, and I think we're all in agreement that it's totally cool for you to just got to the reception given the drive time involved. I would like to say that I use the term "jackelope" frequently as my go-to insult. Example: "That guy is such a jackelope! Does he really think he's funny??". It's more effective than "jackass" because it's unexpected. that is all. Devil
    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers 
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    After 22 cycles and 4 failed IUIs, Serafina joined our family through IVF/ICSI, born 8.28.12
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  • Does anyone else think of the stupid Jackelope sketches they used to do on America's Funniest Home videos when they hear "jackelope?"  Just me?
  • imageKaren2905:
    Does anyone else think of the stupid Jackelope sketches they used to do on America's Funniest Home videos when they hear "jackelope?"  Just me?

     That's the only time I ever heard of them!  Smile

  • Wow. I can't believe anyone would do this to their guests. Why didn't they just have it at a nearby church and invite a smaller number of people to just the ceremony and then the rest to the huge reception at the jackalope lodge??  This almost sounds like something that would be on "My Big Redneck Wedding" or whatever that show is called.  I would just go to the reception and not worry about the bride being offended- she obviously isn't looking at this from her guests' perspective.
  • I sorta suspect they knew this was going to be a problem a while ago because they were very interested in how my DH and I did our wedding (private ceremony, big party) and if people made a fuss (they did but I don't give two cents about the people who raised heck and they can be babies on their own).  I guess they ultimately decided they wanted the whole nine yards. 

    It is their wedding, they get to do it their way, but it isn't really very kind to the people who want to help them celebrate and support them as they make that giant leap into coupledom.

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