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Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Doing things backwards....
My man and I are closing on a house in a few weeks and I'm ecstatic HOWEVER...we haven't officially picked a wedding date (shooting for July 2011).
I just wonder how people manage to "live the dream" and own a home AND save for a wedding? I'm not counting on our parents to pay for any of it...so I'm just wondering how on earth people manage to pay a mortgage/rent, misc. bills, take trips, etc. AND save for a wedding?! Tell me your secrets! 
Re: Doing things backwards....
Hi there! We are kind of in the same boat, but different.
My SO and I just bought a house and are thinking about next summer to get married. But it's a second time around for both of us, so we are all about doing something simple here or going to Mexico or Costa Rica and tying the knot there. So we're probably not going to have to save as much as a traditional wedding, but even a small one is going to cost $$$. We are just trying to save up a good emergency savings as well as having a "vacation" fund and a "future" fund (wedding and baby most likely) that we put money towards each month.
Not sure if that helps, but just wanted you to know you aren't alone!
Congrats on the new house! I had just bought a house and was starting to remodel it when DH proposed. We basically took all of his commission checks and saved those for the wedding and used our regular paychecks to finish up the house. We also were in 3 other weddings within 5 weeks of ours all in different states. It was tough and we ended up having to put some wedding/travel expenses on CC's. I would not suggest doing that if you can help it!
We also delayed our honeymoon for a couple months so we could save up and pay cash for that. I'm so glad we did.
Congrats on the house, that is always fun!
I'd say set a budget and save a given amount each month. Also if you are paid bi-weekly then 2 months a year you will get 3 paychecks, so save those "extra" checks.
Congrats on the new house!!!
I actually did the wedding then house thing in the "not backwards" order. Which is unusual for me.
But I woudl say just keep saving. I'm a big believer in doing what fits you and your life. A lot of wedding-related costs are not really needs, they are wants. Just be honest with yourself and your FI about what you need in a wedding and what are big wants and what are little wants.
We did things completely backwards...we bought our first six months before DH proposed. We'd talked about getting married, but it was one of those "eh, someday we'll do that" plans. We were engaged for 15 months before the wedding.
Like pp said, you need to set a realistic budget and stick to it...prioritize things. Personally, I think my house is way more important than a party, but not everyone sees it that way. Don't get me wrong...our wedding turned out fabulous - but way more formal than I'd anticipated, but if I had a do-over, I'd focus more on what WE wanted (barefoot on the beach) than what we felt we had to do (big, white wedding).
.: Diary of a Recovering Runner :.
I remember when we bought our house, I felt like I was hemmoraging money the first few months. We needed a garden hose, we needed a kitchen trash can, we needed paintbrushes and tools. So I totally have been in that stage where you feel like it's impossible to save.
I am a big believer in rolling with the punches. Just handle things as they come up. and you have the luxury of time to save even more for the wedding and time to hunt for deals.
Congrats on the house! I hope that my hubs and I can jump on that band wagon soon!
When we got married I was so young (still am lol) that I just planned it all myself. One tip that I have to save money is to search the internet. We got our save the date cards 20% off and our invitations 30% off just by searching around. I got my dress for pretty cheap by buying off the rack and getting it tailored to fit, it also might help to find a venue that offers a lot of the things you need, such as the ceremony place and reception place, ours also included dinner and a grooms cake plus like 4 hours of dancing with their DJ.
Make sure that you know how much you want to spend and stick to it! It's actually a lot of fun to do things yourself because then your wedding is more personal and not only looks good, and the way you want it. But it also reflects you and your hubby more as a couple.
The biggest advice I can give is stay calm throughout, roll with the punches in the wedding planning part and even on the big day, things may not be as perfect as you want, but in the end, all that matters is that your married, happy and in love. Not how the flowers looked, you'll probably only vaguely remember that part anyways.
Good luck and I hope that I helped a little.