Hawaii Nesties
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
"Adults Only" brides, now Moms Q:
Hi girls!
So...a funny situation that I wanted your opinions on. We were recently invited to a wedding out of state. On the invitation insert, it states that the wedding & reception are "adults only". I remember this being a hot topic when we were all over on TK.
So now, 2+ years post wedding, we have a 1 year old, so I see it our options are:
Option a- Leave the baby at home. Option b - bring E to the desitnation, but I'll stay in the hotel or wander around the city w E while my H attends the wedding.
I'm pretty sure I'm going to go w/ option B.
My question to you guys is: Did you have an "Adults only" wedding. If so and you're a mom now, if you had to do over, would you? What are your other thoughts around it?
Arrived 4.5 weeks early due to PROM
Cerclage placed @ 21w6d due to CI (IC)
Cerclage placed @ 21w6d due to CI (IC)
Re: "Adults Only" brides, now Moms Q:
For me: I did not have an adults only wedding, personally I think that weddings are a family affair and families include little ones.
As a mom, I'm irritated at the idea of being forced to leave my child if I did want to attend the wedding and the idea of bringing her with us out of state and leaving her with a sitter that I personally don't know from a hole in the ground seems totally absurd. I'm sure I would be less irritated at the adults only part if the wedding was local, I mean, I could easily drop her w/ a sitter for an evening. But multiple days? Um, no thanks (I'm sure I'll change my mind when she starts talking back though
Cerclage placed @ 21w6d due to CI (IC)
We did not have an adults only wedding but we did only have one child at our wedding/reception. My friends were mostly pregnant at the time. My sister has two girls and wanted to come without them... it was HER choice entirely! She said she wanted to come and have fun without them, they were 10 and 4 at the time and stayed with their father.
We are attending a wedding this summer and its for a good friend of mine. It's in the town I grew up in and my family still lives there. I've decided on my own to leave Bella with my mom for the reception (I think we may skip the actual ceremony because I don't want to leave her for a bunch of hours!)... I want to go to the reception with just my hubs
We've only been on 3 dates since Bella was born and that will be #4 and she'll be 11 months old! Crazy but really no one here offers to watch her.
If I were going out of town to a place where no family was, I would just not go to the wedding and DH could go alone if he wanted... more than likely we would just not go at all. We're a family, 3 of us, take us all or leave us all...
we did not have an adults only reception but i also didn't have a lot of friends w/kids... we invited a lot of my cousins but being that it was a DW we knew most wouldn't attend and the ones that did were in high school or college, not infants.
i can see how someone who did have an adults only reception might feel differently after having a child though. having a baby forces you to re-frame everything in your whole life and it's not something you always think about when you don't have kids.
if i lived near my parents i would consider option (a) and leave her w/them but since our family is far away from us i would definitely do option (b)
Jaime & Brent
Oahu, Hawaii | Sept. 9, 2005
My Food Blog - Good Eats 'n Sweet Treats
The whole concept of an "adults only" wedding is so foreign to me since Hawaii is such a family oriented place and all the weddings I've ever been to were big family affairs.
I would go with option B, as well. But if it was a local wedding, I'd leave the baby with a friend or family member. We were actually just in Hawaii for a wedding and decided to leave Kaya with my BFF so we didn't have to worry about her crying or fussing. It ended up being a good thing because the reception was outdoors under a tent and it was windy, raining and freezing. (Yes, freezing, in Hawaii. Really it was probably in the 60s but I was COLD.)
Cerclage placed @ 21w6d due to CI (IC)
That's funny... I would feel the same! We had some kids at our wedding, but most of our friends were too young to have kids yet. The ones who did brought their kids with them. And 99.9% of our guest list was local, so it wasn't a big deal to ask for a baby-sitter. I agree with pp, if it was a local wedding, I'd leave Brooke home with our families. If it were a destination wedding, I'd have Vance go and I'd hang around at the hotel or something...
CLICK for blog
Malia & Dave & Alexa
Happily married since 2-17-08! Three since 9-9-09!
Baby Blog
I think the "Adults Only" thing depends on the type of wedding...
We did not have an adults only wedding because, like you, I think weddings are family affairs. But also, our wedding was very conducive to kids because it was informal, outdoors and fun.
However, I was recently in a wedding that was very fancy and formal, and I could not really have imagined children there. I would have been uncomfortable bringing my child -- what if he cried? what if he spit up? how would that look/sound amidst all the fanciness?!?! And since it was a close friend and not a DW, I would have been OK going without my child -- it's just a night and a fun date for me and DH.
Personally, I don't know if I'd be comfortable traveling OOT without my child (at least till he's much older)... and if only one of us was going to go to the wedding, I don't know if I'd spend the money to travel as a family.
We're going to an "adults only" wedding in Beverly Hills in August. Due to my work schedule we're arriving in CA the same day as the wedding. It will be Libby's first time on an airplane. My BFF will pick us up and Libby will stay with her while we attend the wedding. The wedding is 5-11 p.m. so I imagine we'll be away from Libby from about 3 p.m. until midnight. I pray that this all works out...eek! Thankfully, my BFF has three kids of her own and shoudn't be phased by Libby, even if she's cranky. But if it's bad, I have no qualms about ditching the wedding early.
To answer your questions...we had kids at our wedding and would do it again. Even the first time I was married, it was a super formal evening event and there were babies there. My nephew started up during the ceremony and was swiftly taken out of the sanctuary...sure there were little baby cries on the video for half a second but I didn't care...I think it's silly to exclude children from a family celebration like a wedding.
TTC/PG Blog | Mommy Blog
That's an option, but then E looks at me and does something all cute like and I'm all, "ok I'll just put you in my pocket and carry you with me everywhere for the rest of my life. And you just stay this size and be this sweet, deal??" Cause, ya know, that's reasonable
Cerclage placed @ 21w6d due to CI (IC)
We had an adults only wedding and reception. I wouldn't change a thing. However, as a mom, I know how important it is to be there for your little one. And as an adult, I know I need a break too. So, it can go either way.
How well do you know the bride and groom? If I didn't know them too well or if they are more connected with DH, then I would bring E with you and have DH go to the wedding.
HTH