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This is sad. Please help.

Putting myself out there, so please be helpful, not mean. I wouldn't write this if I didn't want help. 

I don't really like my dog. At all. It was a gradual transition starting before C was born. Never thought I'd be one of "those" people... but really, he just *annoys* me now. He doesn't listen. His training hasn't "stuck." He is loud, he smells bad, he gets on my nerves. He barks and grumbles at the stupidest things, when he used to be quieter.

I don't like taking him for walks, because he is not a good walker. We use a Halti after the Gentle Leader became ineffective. It seriously makes my blood pressure go through the roof. He is not a good running partner, but needs exercise like that. We do not have a fenced yard, so he needs an escort anytime he goes out. This especially sucks when DH travels and C is already in bed.

He freaks out at motorcycles and other animals and eventually rips off his cable in the backyard and runs after things. He got hit by a car last year doing this. We're on our fourth or fifth tie-out system, each one "stronger" than the last. Our yard is not really fence-friendly, or I would have installed one ages ago. He ruins food just when we think he's past that stage--he turns 7 tomorrow. His hair is *every*where, including IN my food, and I hate it.

But I don't feel like we can get rid of him. First, because we committed to having him when we adopted him in 2005. Second, because Caleb *adores* him. Third, because I think he's so naughty that his new owners would also want to get rid of him, and that's not fair to him. I wish I liked him more. But not wanting to spend time with him, when I'm already so beyond busy with work, DS, and everything else on my plate, makes it hard to improve our "relationship." I've just stopped caring. I yell at him a lot. He used to be my buddy, but now I really just don't like him. 

I'm kind of sad it's gotten like this, but I honestly do not know how to make it better. I actually didn't remember that tomorrow is his b-day until I started typing this. Animal lovers everywhere are gasping in horror. Please direct your frustration and gall towards constructive solutions. For Sam's sake... 

Re: This is sad. Please help.

  • Would you be interested in committing some time and money into intensive one-on-one training with a professional trainer?  I don't have any recommendations, but others may.  I think that might help to some degree, especially if after the training you remain committed to working with him.

    What about hiring a dog walker to give him some exercise everyday?  Again, that would require some costs, but it would probably make you both happier.  Or you could take him to doggie daycare to give him exercise and get him out from under your feet.

    I don't really have any other suggestions, but I do think its great that you're interested in working through these challenges and don't want to just get rid of him.  I wish you lots of luck and hope you find some solutions very soon!

  • I have no suggestions, but I understand the frustration.  And I will offer a big hug too :)
  • imageKasa:

    Would you be interested in committing some time and money into intensive one-on-one training with a professional trainer?  I don't have any recommendations, but others may.  I think that might help to some degree, especially if after the training you remain committed to working with him.

    What about hiring a dog walker to give him some exercise everyday?  Again, that would require some costs, but it would probably make you both happier.  Or you could take him to doggie daycare to give him exercise and get him out from under your feet.

    I don't really have any other suggestions, but I do think its great that you're interested in working through these challenges and don't want to just get rid of him.  I wish you lots of luck and hope you find some solutions very soon!

    We've done the pro training thing :( but it was in a class with others

    He is a bad walker and I would be afraid of someone else dealing with him

    He goes to Camp Bow Wow once a week, used to be 3x when I was working FT

    The one-on-one training is a good idea. I was also considering something like BarkBusters? 

  • I think some intensive dog training *may* help. 

    Have you thought about taking him to doggie day care a day or two a week?  If Z is left home and not exercised enough, he becomes a little demon.  (A ripping a curtain rod off the wall demon...)  Camp Bow Wow in Kentwood is $15.00 for a whole day on Mondays (normally $25).  After 8 hours of running and playing, Z's a contented and (sort of) relaxed pup the whole next day. 

    Instead of a gentle leader/halti, we've been using the Easy Walk harness.  I swear by the thing...  If the dog pulls in front of you too much, the harness steers/turns him to facing you (and away from what he wants).  Z was difficult to walk beforehand, and now he's much better (not perfect, but better).  We can take him running and hiking without incident now. 

     

    I don't have any suggestions for the fuzz issue-- other than to see if he can be shaved.  My parents take their (super fluffy) golden retreiver to Posh Pets in Alger Heights, and have her shaved each summer.  They do a nice job, and Rox is a happier, cleaner dog because of it.

    Sorry things are tough w/ your dog.  Hopefully, everything can be worked out.  (And you get lots of credit for not giving up!)

  • Crud.  You're doing Bow Wow.  I've heard good things about Bark Busters.  There's a guy in Zeeland who is supposed to be good too-- http://www.k9specialist.net/    (Harbor Humane referred to him as their "Dog Whisperer.")
  • ChymesChymes member

    I don't have a dog, so I don't have personal experience with them, but I've heard good things about the local dog-walking company called "Frances Walks Your Dog." You may have seen their "ad" in puzzle form in the Cheetah bathroom. Smile I know you said you wouldn't want someone else to have to deal with his bad walking habits, but they are professionals. Also, it couldn't hurt to just call them up and explain your problems, and see if they have any advice or suggestions. They are a dog-care company, after all...

    I'm sorry this is the reality for you. Crying But I'm so impressed that you want to make it better.

    image
  • imagelzalewski:
    Crud.  You're doing Bow Wow.  I've heard good things about Bark Busters.  There's a guy in Zeeland who is supposed to be good too-- http://www.k9specialist.net/    (Harbor Humane referred to him as their "Dog Whisperer.")

    Thanks for the link!

     

  • imageChymes:

    I don't have a dog, so I don't have personal experience with them, but I've heard good things about the local dog-walking company called "Frances Walks Your Dog." You may have seen their "ad" in puzzle form in the Cheetah bathroom. Smile I know you said you wouldn't want someone else to have to deal with his bad walking habits, but they are professionals. Also, it couldn't hurt to just call them up and explain your problems, and see if they have any advice or suggestions. They are a dog-care company, after all...

    I'm sorry this is the reality for you. Crying But I'm so impressed that you want to make it better.

    What do you know, we're heading to le Cheetah tonight :) Thanks for the rec :) 

  • I could have written this post Kate, seriously.  I feel EXACTLY the same way.  And when I came home from the store yesterday and she had gotten into the garbage and there were diapers and food all over my NEW CARPET I could have killed her. 

    Big, big hugs.  I wish I had advice, but I only have sympathy.  

    IMG_0888edit Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • Getting him shaved is a good idea, to help with the hair problem.

    Also, as far as the barking, I have a friend who had good results using a citronella collar for her dog.  It's far more humane than an electric collar, but it was affective because apparently dogs hate the smell of citronella.  The collar would spray citronella when the dog barked.

  • imagefreeburger16:

    I could have written this post Kate, seriously.  I feel EXACTLY the same way.  And when I came home from the store yesterday and she had gotten into the garbage and there were diapers and food all over my NEW CARPET I could have killed her. 

    Big, big hugs.  I wish I had advice, but I only have sympathy.  

    Thank you (and Em!).  

  • If you are committed to keeping him then I really think you 1) need to do some more training with him and 2) enforce what you learn in trianing.  Remember, the training is for you, not the dog.  My friend used Victoria Swanson from Good Little Dog in GR.  She will come to your house to do 1 on 1 training and comes highly recommended.  GL!
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  • imagefreeburger16:

    Big, big hugs.  I wish I had advice, but I only have sympathy.  

    x 2.

    It must have something to do with having a baby, because I am feeling similar.

  • imageDesmond&MollyJones*:
    imagefreeburger16:

    Big, big hugs.  I wish I had advice, but I only have sympathy.  

    x 2.

    It must have something to do with having a baby, because I am feeling similar.

    For me, it does because I feel similarly about my cats.  My animals were my babies until I had Ben.  Now they are a nuisance.  I feel horrible about it, but it's true.  I'm not going to get rid of them, but they definitely don't get the attention they deserve anymore :(

    IMG_0888edit Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • imagefreeburger16:
    imageDesmond&MollyJones*:
    imagefreeburger16:

    Big, big hugs.  I wish I had advice, but I only have sympathy.  

    x 2.

    It must have something to do with having a baby, because I am feeling similar.

    For me, it does because I feel similarly about my cats.  My animals were my babies until I had Ben.  Now they are a nuisance.  I feel horrible about it, but it's true.  I'm not going to get rid of them, but they definitely don't get the attention they deserve anymore :(

    I am so glad I am not the only one that feels this way.  And I am SO thankful for my H because if it wasn't for him, they wouldn't get near enough attention that they need.

  • imageDesmond&MollyJones*:
    imagefreeburger16:
    imageDesmond&MollyJones*:
    imagefreeburger16:

    Big, big hugs.  I wish I had advice, but I only have sympathy.  

    x 2.

    It must have something to do with having a baby, because I am feeling similar.

    For me, it does because I feel similarly about my cats.  My animals were my babies until I had Ben.  Now they are a nuisance.  I feel horrible about it, but it's true.  I'm not going to get rid of them, but they definitely don't get the attention they deserve anymore :(

    I am so glad I am not the only one that feels this way.  And I am SO thankful for my H because if it wasn't for him, they wouldn't get near enough attention that they need.

    Same here. DH walks Sam every night, when he's home.  

  • imageGRKaters:
    imageDesmond&MollyJones*:
    imagefreeburger16:
    imageDesmond&MollyJones*:
    imagefreeburger16:

    Big, big hugs.  I wish I had advice, but I only have sympathy.  

    x 2.

    It must have something to do with having a baby, because I am feeling similar.

    For me, it does because I feel similarly about my cats.  My animals were my babies until I had Ben.  Now they are a nuisance.  I feel horrible about it, but it's true.  I'm not going to get rid of them, but they definitely don't get the attention they deserve anymore :(

    I am so glad I am not the only one that feels this way.  And I am SO thankful for my H because if it wasn't for him, they wouldn't get near enough attention that they need.

    Same here. DH walks Sam every night, when he's home.  

    Yep, DH is the only reason poor Meeko gets any attention other than Ben trying to ride her and pull her tail.  

    I want to shave her (she sheds enough for 5 dogs, I kid you not) so that I will feel less stress and anger towards her, but Adam is against it because she will look silly.  I may do it anyway...

    IMG_0888edit Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • KATERS - I know how you feel. I used to love our cat Buster but now he is a major pain in the arse. He bites and swats all the time, he is an ahole of a cat, isn't that friendly to our other cat, etc. He likes to poop in corners and doesn't care about anythng. I am seriously thinking about giving him to someone else. I don't know what to do aboiut him either and he is a cat.

    image
  • imagefreeburger16:

    I want to shave her (she sheds enough for 5 dogs, I kid you not) so that I will feel less stress and anger towards her, but Adam is against it because she will look silly.  I may do it anyway...

    I did with mine.  They look silly, but we've grown to love the way they look now and its so much cleaner :-)

  • Honestly people being "annoyed" with their pets after having kids is a HUGE pet peeve of mine. I guess I just don't get it. I made a birthday cake for my dog after having a kid. I think Kita has it better now then she did before. LOL!

    It's good to see that you're willing to keep Sam but it's going to take a lot of work. If you're not willing to put time and energy into it then I suggest finding him a home that is willing to work with him. Yelling at him is just going to make things worse. Just like a child, animals will take any attention they can get....even if it's bad attention.

    For the tie out issue I suggest getting a very, very, very long plastic coated chain. Put a eye hook into the back of your house (or your garage) and hook Sam up that way. He will have a heck of a time pulling that out! With this option he can spend sometime outside and you don't have to "babysit" him. If that won't work I suggest looking into cementing something into the ground.

    One-on-one training does WONDERS for situations like this. You have to be willing to take the time to do it though. Changes won't happen over night but they will happen. Also you and your hubby have to be on the same page as far as dos & don'ts, commands, ect.

    The fur thing is just part of being a dog. Not much you can do there other then have him groomed.

    If you can swing it, send him to doggy daycare another day or two a week. If the place you're going is too expensive check out other places. I believe The Paw Place in Grandville is a little cheaper (they used to be $15 a day).

    Good luck! I hope you can get back to a loving relationship with your dog.

    Ben & Shana - August 27, 2005
  • I'm SO there with you. It's not that I love my dog less, but her messes/needs/wants require time away from my baby and/or require me to lose my valuable ME time to do things for the dog after Mere is in bed. 

    The hair absolutely drives me NUTS. It drove me nuts before, but now I have a baby crawling around on a floor I CANNOT keep clean. I vacuum every day. Every. single. day. Still, Mere finds clumps of it all over. Lola is going to be groomed next week and if it doesn't cut it down enough, she'll be shaved. Like Freeburger's (I think??) H, I think my dog would look so stupid shaved, but it might be necessary to keep my sanity!

    We also found that Lola is special needs (she has Addison's Disease), which means that her body doesn't produce a hormone to deal with stress. She gets a shot once a month (trip to the vet!) that keeps it under control on a daily basis... unless she stresses out. Thunderstorms, staying overnight somewhere, etc., give her a stress attack which results in diarrhea in my house. It's terrible. So, on top of changing dirty diapers, I clean up dog shiit on a regular basis. 

    I don't know how you do it without a fenced yard. I'd try the cemented stake soon. I'd go nuts having to go out all the time with my dog.  

    That said, I won't get rid of her. She's part of the family. And, like Caleb, Mere loves her and I'm confident that they will be best friends soon.

    Also, I've discovered that it's not necessarily the dog that makes me crazy, but the extra stress I put on myself now that I have Meredith (ya know, keep the house clean, groceries, baby stuff, laundry, work). My normal stress level is just higher now.

    Hang in there lady.  

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  • I just want to say that I totally understand where you are coming from, we recently went through this too, and made the tough decision to give him away. I hope it gets better for you.  However, in the end you do need to do what is best for you and your family. Best of luck!  
  • In addition to everyone else's suggestions, I would suggest trying a supplement for Sam (like Shed No More or something similar - i think as long as it has omega 3's it will work).  It sounds crazy and I was really skeptical, but a friend recommended to me a couple months ago to help stop our dogs shedding and it actually worked!  Our dog still sheds a little but it really, really cut down on the amount of hair.
  • imageLara05:
    In addition to everyone else's suggestions, I would suggest trying a supplement for Sam (like Shed No More or something similar - i think as long as it has omega 3's it will work).  It sounds crazy and I was really skeptical, but a friend recommended to me a couple months ago to help stop our dogs shedding and it actually worked!  Our dog still sheds a little but it really, really cut down on the amount of hair.
    Linatone for dogs works really well to help with shedding. I had completely forgot about it till you mention this.
    Ben & Shana - August 27, 2005
  • Everyone gave great suggestions.  You are not a bad person for not loving your dog, you're just not a dog person - they're not for everyone. 

    One additional suggestion, I know big cities have dog walkers, but there might be something like that in GR too.  Just to take a little stress off of you maybe.

    Oh, and actually, if you want to try a citronella collar for the barking - we have one you can try out.  We got it for Toby but his lion's mane prevented the stuff from actually getting to his nose when he barked.  So it's just sitting in a drawer unused and I'd be happy to let you give it a go and see if it works for your pup.

     

  • imageMrsJuliD:

    Everyone gave great suggestions.  You are not a bad person for not loving your dog, you're just not a dog person - they're not for everyone. 

    One additional suggestion, I know big cities have dog walkers, but there might be something like that in GR too.  Just to take a little stress off of you maybe.

    Oh, and actually, if you want to try a citronella collar for the barking - we have one you can try out.  We got it for Toby but his lion's mane prevented the stuff from actually getting to his nose when he barked.  So it's just sitting in a drawer unused and I'd be happy to let you give it a go and see if it works for your pup.

     

    Thanks :) I will let you know! 

  • It's pricey but we have Scout at boarding school through Kim's K-9 Training (  www.kimsk9.com  )  SHe is great!  There are a few different training options but we chose the 4 week boarding so that she could work with him on his evening/crate training, too (plus, we're gone half of this month).  We take him there for doggie day care 2-3 days a week and it is WELL worth it.  He gets to play and is so tired when he comes home. The are just on the Beltine accross from Lowe's.  She's on facebook, too.
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