BR: BFing in public

lola808 · May 2010

Are you comfortable doing it? If so, anywhere? Or do you prefer to find a family bathroom/lounge or other quiet place?

Just wondering since it was in the news today:

http://tinyurl.com/2ef94lf

And the topic of an Onion satire piece I got this morning on Facebook:

http://tinyurl.com/3yu3xzp

mie · May 2010

Yes, I am. I do use a cover, though.

lola808 · May 2010

To answer my own question...

I haven't done it yet, since our outings have been really minimal. I'm not sure how comfortable I would be, to be honest -- definitely OK in the family room at the department store, but not necessarily in the heart of the mall. Today we went out and I took a bottle of expressed milk, which worked out well.

I'm not sure what my hang up is, since I have no problem with anyone else's choice... and wouldn't be offended if someone did it around my kids (like was alluded to in the news story).

sanae78 · May 2010

I like where it says they were afraid for their children. Whaaaaaaat???

I've nursed in restaurants, Starbucks, on the airplane, and the Nordstrom lounge. I use a cover, too, and wouldn't feel comfortable without it.

MauiWedding08 · May 2010

I use a cover (muslin swaddle blanket for now, have heard a real cover with a strap will be good when he is older b/c he might try to pull it off) but otherwise I am comfortable nursing just about anywhere.

I have BF'd at a Federal Courthouse, coffee shop, restaurant, church, community meetings, the airport, the mall (<3 the lounge inside the new nordstrom near me), family get togethers and on and on. I refuse to nurse in a normal bathroom - I wouldn't want to eat there, why should Jack? Plus the one time I did it at Macys (there was a bench set up for that purpose but no lounge area) someone came in and stunk up the place - EWWW

There have been a few times I have went to the car. Mostly when I don't have a great nursing outfit on, when I wasn't as good at getting situated, or when we are out with mostly guys (like getting appetizers and drinks after DH's softball games). Also when my FIL was visiting I BF'd in the bedroom - all other times I nurse in my home whenever/wherever regardless of who is here. ...without a cover - if the visitor is uncomfortable they can leave the room or leave the house

That is so ridiculous that she was scared for her children?

redshoegirl · May 2010

In our circumstances, no. HOWEVER - this is only because it would involve tandem nursing. There is nothing subtle about tandem nursing lol! You pretty much have to pull out your boobs and lay them on a table sized pillow. Stick out tongue

That said, I would absolutely give one of them a quick nurse if necessary (although we pack bottles when we take them out) - I'd prefer to use a cover but honestly if they were crying and nursing without one was the only way to calm them, I wouldn't think twice about whipping out the ole boob lol.

vanceandlori · May 2010

I have NEVER nursed in public. I tried once in a Nordstrom family bathroom with Vance cracking up as I tried to figure out how to situate myself and Brooke. He even tried to hold her up as I nursed her ... it was a big fat fail and we both had a good laugh about it later.

With that being said, it wouldn't/doesn't bother me at all if I were to see women BF in public. I actually admire their courage.

Married2MrWright · May 2010

I am fairly comfortable, although around here you never see a nursing mother. I don't use a cover...Libby hates it and with my big bewbies it's nearly impossible to get her latched with it on anyway.

I do the double layer trick...nursing bra, nursing tank (I have to wear both since I am sporting size 40I bewbs) with a loose shirt or tank over the top. When it's time to nurse I unlatch the bra and nursing tank and pull the flaps down. Then I position Libby across my lap and lift the upper shirt up to expose my nipple and get her latched on...her head and body cover everything and it only takes her a second to get latched on...she's not a big fan of the overshirt touching her face and has started pushing the shirt away from her face.

So now I just roll the edge under and give a 1/4 inch distance away from her nose and she seems okay with that. If she's really using her hands to move my shirt around I will use a light blanket and drape it from my opposite shoulder (the non-nursing side across her body and past her shoulders so that if anything were to be exposed it would be somewhat hidden from view.

When I am at home with just J and/or my mom I only wear nursing tanks and just let it all hang out. Its more comfortable for me and Libby and J and my mom could care less about seeing my bewbs. I did the same when our BFFs came to visit, both had nursed their babies and didn't care. One of them came with her hubby and I asked if they'd prefer I go to the other room and they said not to worry about it. I liked that her hubby was cool enough to be okay with it and he never looked at me in a weird way or anything. When my Dad was here I did the double shirt thing and it was fine. Honestly, Libby is so efficient and latches instantly that nothing is really exposed with the double shirt system. Even when she pulls off to "talk" or smile or rest I just pull the over shirt down for that and again, all is covered.

Here's a great video to show you how to do it and give you confidence to NIP:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rrnxtiYmXig

Here's a good video describing different nursing tops:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JXYNAsunNfo

HulaLove · May 2010

I nurse in public. I hate being cooped up at home so it's pretty much necessary.

I definately prepare myself for public nursing though. I wear a nursing tank so nobody sees any skin and I always have my nursing cover in my diaper bag. I also look for quiet areas (I wouldn't feel comfortable on a mallo bench).

However, I'm not always 100% comfortable, I just make myself do it and it's gotten easier. Russ is really supportive about it - he's adamant that I'm feeding our daughter and there's nothing sexual or obscene about it, so it makes it easier with that kind of support.

MrsZiz · May 2010

MauiWedding08:
- I wouldn't want to eat there, why should Jack?
- all other times I nurse in my home whenever/wherever regardless of who is here. ...without a cover - if the visitor is uncomfortable they can leave the room or leave the house

The first thing, so true! I would NEVER eat in a bathroom, why should my child??

As for the other thing she said above, I nurse at home without a cover and am discrete about it (see description below) when visitors are over. If they don't like it or it makes them uncomfortable they can leave the room or not come visit, it makes no difference to me really. We've had plenty of friends over and have watched (well not actually looking but been present in the room) and it never seems to phase any of them, male or female. It does however, make my FIL and my Grand-FIL uncomfortable and they leave the room. They have asked ME before "why don't you just go in the bedroom so you guys are more comfortable" I replied "Oh we're quite comfy here but thanks"... they left the room Otherwise, if it's just her and I or DH is home, the boobies come out without any sort of issue.

I nurse in public, whenever, whereever and I do not use a cover. Bella would gasp for air when she was tiny when I did use a cover, even though I knew she had plenty of air and I held the cover out so it wasn't even touching her, she acted claustrophobic or something. It freaked me out that she acted short of breath and panicked.

That said, I am fairly discrete about the whole thing. I lift my shirt, move my nursing bra and the only thing ever exposed is enough skin/nipple for her to latch on and let me tell you when the girl's hungry there is no wasting time! The process of moving my shirt/bra and getting her latched takes about 3-5 seconds.

There is a picture on my facebook (under the new ones I added) of me nursing her at the Domes in Milwaukee, it's a public place and plenty of people were around. No one even looked twice, I think they thought I was cuddling my sleeping baby My mom snapped the picture and at first I freaked "God mom, no nursing pics", My mom said "oh you can't even tell" and showed me... now it's a moment I treasure, our nursing captured on camera, it's one of the only pictures I have of her nursing and it's a very cherished thing to me.

debbiezoey · May 2010

YIKES! This is in my hometown and has been a SUPER hot topic around here. I feel that whether you are comfortable yourself BF in public or not, they had NO right to tell this mother to stop or move. "Scaring and frightening the other children" is what has been quoted over and over in the local papers!! WTF? I doubt it. I'm sure it was the grown ups doing the complaining!

I just hope it was only the narrow-minded secuity guard that was opposed and not the administration of the mall. When are people going to learn that it is a totally natural process!

Married2MrWright · May 2010

MrsZiz:
it's a moment I treasure, our nursing captured on camera, it's one of the only pictures I have of her nursing and it's a very cherished thing to me.

I would love a pic or two of myself and Libby NIP...hmm...gotta get J to snap one!

Mrs.HulaHunnie · May 2010

vanceandlori:

I have NEVER nursed in public. I tried once in a Nordstrom family bathroom with Vance cracking up as I tried to figure out how to situate myself and Brooke. He even tried to hold her up as I nursed her ... it was a big fat fail and we both had a good laugh about it later.

With that being said, it wouldn't/doesn't bother me at all if I were to see women BF in public. I actually admire their courage.

Haha Lori sometimes I think we are one in the same. I CANNOT nurse without my boppy (found that one out one day at the mall) So Jaylee gets bottles of ebm when we go out. I do admire women who are able to do it.

Married2MrWright · May 2010

debbiezoey:

"Scaring and frightening the other children"

What BS! What exactly about a mother nursing her child is "scaring and frightening to children"? If she were bottle feeding no one would have thought twice. What about taking kids to the zoo and seeing a mama animal nurse her baby? Is that "scaring and frightening"? People are so dang uptight. Ya know what?

Boobs are not for sex (although in this country you'd think that's ALL they're for) they are for nourishing our babies! It's a sad state of affairs we're in when women are told their bewbies are for men/to sell things/sex and that our bodies don't know how to birth babies so we need doctors/medicine to do it for us. Geez...how did we exist before the 19th century?!

Kids see more boob during a Victoria's Secret commerical or god forbid one of the Girl's Gone Wild commercials than when a momma is nursing in public!

MauiWedding08 · May 2010

in my state it's illegal to tell someone to leave, cover up, go to the bathroom etc. I think WA was also one of the first states to explicitly codify the fact that BF isn't "indecent exposure" about 10 years ago.

So I guess I'm lucky in that I see people happily nursing in public - a lot.

When I'm out and about, especially in family situations (mothers groups, church, Tribal community meetings) I almost think of it as important for the children to see how babies can be fed - no bottle needed. I have never had a bad experience and I have overheard many moms using it as a lesson to their child (ex: no you can't play with the baby right now, his mommy is feeding him" sometimes the child ponders it, asks questions, needs further explanation) which I think is awesome. Hopefully when they grow up they won't even think twice about it.

lola808 · May 2010

Thanks for your comments. I guess I don't see it in public very often around here, so I don't feel super confident about taking it up for myself. We'll see how it goes for us as we venture out more and more.

I also completely agree with Lori's comments re: the function and purpose of breasts. I would so rather my daughter grow up with visions of breastfeeding than overly-sexualized images in the media. The former, I think, encourages healthy body perceptions, while the latter feeds into our constant desire to "fix" ourselves and our nation's plastic surgery addiction.

My dad, who is European, used to always say how ironic it was that Americans are OK with depictions of violence and murder on TV, but an exposed breast, even for something as natural as breastfeeding or showering, is worth a censor.

Surfinbride · May 2010

I was very uptight about whipping out a giant boob. I admire those that do it... but, it was not for me. I pumped in order to have a bottle for her in public. It made more sense to me to have a bottle handy. The only trouble that I had was flying after 9/11/2001. DD was born 2 months after. When we flew, it was a pain to get her bottles through security. The training and knowledge is better now that security has been doing it for years... but, in the immediate time after 9/11 it was awful. I BF on the plane as an emergency measure. Awkward. I definitely was not one of the women who proudly nurses wherever she is when it is time to feed the little one.

SirenSong · May 2010

Married2MrWright:
What BS! What exactly about a mother nursing her child is "scaring and frightening to children"? If she were bottle feeding no one would have thought twice. What about taking kids to the zoo and seeing a mama animal nurse her baby? Is that "scaring and frightening"? People are so dang uptight. Ya know what?

Boobs are not for sex (although in this country you'd think that's ALL they're for) they are for nourishing our babies! It's a sad state of affairs we're in when women are told their bewbies are for men/to sell things/sex and that our bodies don't know how to birth babies so we need doctors/medicine to do it for us. Geez...how did we exist before the 19th century?!

Kids see more boob during a Victoria's Secret commerical or god forbid one of the Girl's Gone Wild commercials than when a momma is nursing in public!

A-MEN!

I'm not shy about b/f'ing in public. I don't even bother with nursing tops anymore. I just wear easily accessible tops and lift my boob (well, not all of it...just the nipple area really) up and out of the top for Samara when she needs a feed

I usually turn away from people to do it though, I'm not totally 'in-your-face' with it. People, if they take a good long look, will see the top of my boob (what you would see if I was cleavage-ing up for a night out anyway). They wouldn't be able to see anything else because Samara would be covering anything else that was exposed.

I think the reason why women in our society these days have such difficulties with breastfeeding (usually, not always) at first is because it is such a covered up and hidden part of life. We never watched women breastfeed so we could see how it's done.

Girls growing up in indigenous communities, however, see it done all the time within their tribe. It's just a normal part of life that is on show and they find it's second nature once it comes time for them to breastfeed their own child/ren.

mrspresley · May 2010

when A was younger, it wasn't really possible....well it was manageable, but hard...i have a forceful letdown and when she was younger she'd choke if i didn't nurse her laying down. so while we had to do it when flying w/her at 6wks, she didn't take much and was uncomfortable nursing. now that she is older she can handle it much better and we do better...plus i don't always have to have something (like a pillow or boppy) under her anymore.

as far as comfort goes, i am ok as long as i am somewhat covered...not too comfortable just nursing w/o one...i think the more you do it the more at ease you are with it though!

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