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Thank you all for your posts below...
...related to the new house. I really appreciated and enjoyed reading them.
We are so excited. We just got all of the paperwork in the mail yesterday in preparation for the move.
Also, thanks for the well wishes regarding adoption. To answer some of the questions: I think we will look into all the various means to grow our family. I have a friend who works for the Dept of Social Services in that very dept that deals w/ foster care. So I'll make her aware of our intentions and get some advice of the pros and cons.
I think it'll be so hard for me if we had a child in our home from foster care who we'd have to give up later. I'm not sure. But yet, I think if we could give a child a wonderful home life, even for a little while, it would make an impact in both the child's and our lives.
Any other thoughts?
Re: Thank you all for your posts below...
I absolutely think fostering creates a huge impact on the child's life but you are right - I imagine it would be really tough to see them go, especially if they must return to a situation that is less than what you believe they deserve (it happens). An organization I am a member of does a lot of work with foster families so I have seen some amazing foster parents and I know they are making a huge difference on lots of children's lives.
I know there can be some awesome support groups for foster parents, hopefully your friend can connect you with some or some current foster parents to answer questions. I know around here they have seminars to let people learn about the process and ask questions, it would be really helpful to go to something like that.
Again, good luck, I wish you all the best and can't wait to see how your family grows!!
Good for you! I have three adopted siblings that my parents took as foster children first. The eldest, my sister, is deaf and native Alaskan and born to a 14 year old mother who drank while she was pregnant. Being deaf, she was shunned in her village and basically ignored for the first few years of life. My parents got her when she was 4 years old (my stepmom is a deaf interpreter and someone who knew that she and my dad took in foster children from time to time found my sister and hooked them together). My sister was officially adopted when she was 8 years old. Her only different ability is hear hearing loss...she's developmentally fine and a very smart and outgoing girl! She just got her driver's liscence last week.
My younger brothers are biologically related and are aged 11 and 6. Long story short their parents were meth addicts that got popped several times for cooking as well. My parents fostered them for 2 years and then adopted them. Aside from some emotional issue (abandonment, anger, etc.) that have greatly improved over time, these two boys are super loving and smart and just love life!
It's been a long journey for my parents and they're in their 50's with four grown kids (me and my twin brother and my stepmom's two kids...we're all in our mid-30's with kids of our own) now raising a 16, 11, and 6 year old. Not the "traditional" family, but one full of love!
TTC/PG Blog | Mommy Blog
Thank you, ladies!
Lori, what a sweet and touching story of your family. What a wonderful impact and mark that you and your parents have made on these children. Thank you for sharing that.
Alyson & Phil | Planning Bio | Married Bio!
Dates & Quinces Blog
I can't wait to see pictures of your new house. Well deserved!
Here is why I have an interest in fostering. I worked with a man and a woman who had several foster children. I found out she fostered when she brought this adorable boy to work. He was the boy version of Libby. He was absolutely perfect. We all loved taking turns snuggling him and talking baby-talk. He was adopted after a few months. We all missed him. I asked my coworker about how they decided to be foster parents and if it was always hard to let them go. She said over the years, they had 28 kids, all ages, all abilities. That was around 1995. I imagine they've doubled that number now. One year, she had 2 boys come back into her care again. The fostering agency said that the mom did it every year... around November... so that the kids would go somewhere else for Christmas. My coworker said that was fine with her. She loved the boys as if they were her own. She knew they'd go. She hoped they would come back whenever there was a need. She had the perfect attitude. She felt that they were placed in her families hands for a reason. She knew that when it was time, they would go. She said that many of them stayed in touch. She, her husband, her 2 sons and her daughter were amazing. All of the kids were blessed to be a part of the family. They figured that yes, it was hard to see them go... but, it was a sadness that was lessened by knowing that they had done something so important - to let the kids know that they were loved - and that the kids brought their family so much joy in the time that they shared.
On the other end of the perfect foster family....
My friends have been together since college. They tried for a family early on. No luck. After years of trying on their own, they went through the whole fertility thing (I want to say nightmare... but, need to clarify, that is specific to their experience... experiences... years turned into a decade). Then, they were done for a few years. Drs still do not know why nothing worked for them. They decided to go all natural, with the attitude that if it was meant to be, it will be. A few years of that and they lost their patience.... back on fertility treatments. By the end of that round, they were frustrated, confused and financially exhausted... and, approaching 40. They decided to call it quits.
They thought about adoption. They thought about fostering.
After much consideration, they fostered two children.
We live across the country, so I only see them once a year. I asked how it went. She said, "They were little Rostafarians! Totally wild! It was the hardest and the happiest time of our lives. I don't think we have what it takes to be a parent."
So-o-o, that's my long winded way of saying that the experience can be very different based on your attitude.
I hope to be a foster parent.
Newlyweds since 2007
Lol! This made me
. I hope we'll get our own "boy version of Libby" with Baby #2...tee hee!
TTC/PG Blog | Mommy Blog
One of my sisters was given up for adoption at birth. We reunited with her about 6 years ago and it's been great. I'm so glad to know her and am very grateful for her family who gave her such a good life. I think adoption is a wonderful thing!!!
I think I would find it hard to be a foster parent, but there are so so many children in the foster care system and they deserve good homes and lots of love, too. It might be difficult emotionally at times, but I'm sure the benefits outweigh the costs, if you can open heart in that way.
Either way, I'm sure you'll be a blessing to any child(ren) you touch!
congrats on the new home!!!! I missed the post below. But yay!!!!
re foster parents. I think it's absolutely awesome if you have the gift. A couple of folks at my church do fostering & ended up adopting some....I see them and they have the gift & it's awesome
But like pp said, it's tough. I worked juvenile dependency with our headquarters in oakland. It was rough. People are messy. (not messy as in not clean... Hehehe)
When I see a messy kid, it would be even worse. They don't always see you're doing good for them. They may be infants in withdrawal.... Some people get into fostering and they shouldn't because they don't go into it with a complete picture... But that makes the good foster parents even more awesome & strong
hawaii 10.2008 plan ;P married bio ???
I lived in a foster home for two years. When I was placed it was a temporary situation but its impact has lasted me a lifetime. I still have contact with my foster family. They gave me the stability I needed in my life at that time and I will be forever grateful to them and I love them like my bio family.
I think it's great that you are even thinking about the possibility! Even if they don't live with you forever, a solid foundation will last a life time
I'm in the process to be a Big Sister...I think its super important for kids to have access to positive role models in their lives.
Congrats on the house!!! I'm really happy for you guys for getting it! That *is* quite a blessing!
I don't have any experience with adoption or foster care but just want to wish you and YH the best in whichever one you guys decide to go with.