Hawaii Nesties
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
How do you feel...
... about honeymoon registries? I mod over on the knot's honeymoon board, and it's a super contentious issue. Is it any better or worse than a regular department store registry?
Re: How do you feel...
Personally, I'm not a fan. Just because I feel like a wedding gift should be something the couple would treasure during their marriage. And yes, I guess a honeymoon memory could be treasured, I'd rather get a couple an actual tangible gift. If not, I'd give them money to do with what they choose. If they choose to use it for a honeymoon, I suppose that's fine. But I guess I feel honeymoons are so transient. Wonderful, but fleeting. Not really what I want to convey in a wedding gift, you know?
However, I'm not one to criticize and say they're tacky. It's not that....I'm just not a fan because I'd prefer to give other gifts. And, after all, gifts are not only about the receiver, but the giver as well.
TTC/PG Blog | Mommy Blog
ditto.
I have strange hang ups about them too though and would rather just buy a tangible gift.
We had a honeymoon registry, but we did not have a traditional gift registry. And if there hadn't been the pressure to have a registry in the first place, we would've gone without one. (I think asking for gifts is pretty weird.)
Personally, I cherish my honeymoon memories much more than I would a kitchen mixer or fancy silver frame. We talk about it and, to this day, still enjoy that amazing experience. That being said, I totally don't mind regular gift registries and I gift from them whenever friends are registered -- but for me and DH, we are more "experience" people than "things" people and we didn't want or need any tangible gifts. The only thing we bought after our wedding was an SLR.. and that was used to enjoy on our honeymoon!
I also don't get why honeymoon registries might be considered tacky -- I consider them very practical (something we were going to spend on anyway) and I totally thought about the people who gifted us when we enjoyed our travel experiences. I'm usually more put off by gift registries where the price tags are all really high, or where people register for a ton of random things they're not likely to enjoy (like my friend who registered for an asparagus steamer and a ton of bakeware when she doesn't even cook).
At the end of the day, though, whatever people will truly appreciate should be fine... it's their celebration and their new life, after all. You can always choose not to participate.
this is totally a point I was going to make but didn't know how to say it.
We have 2 sets of friends getting married this summer/fall. One said they have everything they need/want for their home (and they really do - so jealous of their house and entertaining capabilities!). In that instance I totally understand it. Couple number 2 set up a HM registry and then 6 different store registries, I don't mean to judge but holy smokes the whole situation seems a little tacky - so I guess it wasn't the HM part that I had a problem with....
To me, registries are all the same.
I don't really mind any kind of registry. I've done honeymoon, and photographer registries (on top traditional) and cash gifts as well. To me, a wedding gift is a wedding gift, no matter what shape or form. If I contributed to a miniscule% of their mortgate if they had a mortgage registry, I'd be happy with that. I've also paid to go to a reception (cultural thing) so I'm pretty open to anything.
We were one of the "tackies" that had a honeymoon registry and a gift registry
I will say the honeymoon registry freaking rocked. We had an AMAZING time and will cherish those memories much more than my Crate and Barrel avocado slicer or lemon juicer (don't get me wrong, I totally appreciate all gifts). The honeymoon registry allowed us to see one of the wonders of the world...that to me is almost priceless. Our gift givers were also super excited to know that they sent us to an awesome place.
We also had a money dance :::gasp::: Never knew it was tacky til the Knot. I think whatever works for the couple is fine. I think the Knot/Nest/Bumpt gets a herd mentality and will pounce on what 'they' think is tacky/right/wrong.
To each their own but I don't understand why peeps get their panties in a bundle over things that don't really concern them. If they don't like it, don't contribute/give.
My long winded two cents...
It's funny, because I'm on the opposite end of things - I hate all registries. So every time I weigh in on the debate, everyone thinks I'm crazy. I just think it's tacky to ask for specific gifts! Without asking for specific stuff, we got really thoughtful things like a gorgeous handmade quilt (which must have taken a year to do) and a carved wooden love spoon and some original art! I'm so glad we didn't go the usual route.
Alyson & Phil | Planning Bio | Married Bio!
Dates & Quinces Blog
We had a honeymoon registry.
We were together 5 years before we got married and have lived together pretty much the whole duration of our relationship. Because of that, we did not need anything because we had everything we needed for our home. We knew that people would rather purchase a gift rather than contributing $$ for a trip so with that we just registered for new towels or sheets to refresh a room or something that I normally wouldn't buy for our home.
I could go either way really with it, but I'm not a registry person either. It makes me feel wierd asking for things.
| Olowalu, Maui ~ August 6, 2008 |
| Family of 4 ~ April 2, 2011 |
| Family of 5 - October 24, 2012 |
I'd probably give a cash gift before getting something from a honeymoon registry, especially if it's one that has fees for each 'purchase'. The way I see it, the couple gets the money to pay for the activities so why not just give them the money in a card instead of going through something unnecessary like a honeymoon registry?
I felt really strange putting together registries for our wedding and for the baby. I hate asking for stuff. Even if John asks me what I want for my birthday, I'll say, 'Oh nothing,' even if there's something I want because I just feel weird saying, 'Yeah, get me this.'
Then again, I live in Hawaii and I'd say that majority of the locals have absolutely no problem with giving cash gifts so that has a lot to do with the way I feel about registries.
For our wedding, we just did a normal gift registry from one place (to make things easy) just for those who wanted to use it. Some people just ended up getting us whatever they felt like/wanted that weren't on our registry and we appreciated them the same. In fact, MH and I sometimes comment that some of the best/most useful gifts we got weren't ones that we registered or thought that we wanted/needed.
So, I personally feel that whatever floats the couple's boat is fine. If they want funds towards their honeymoon, then so be it. If they want gifts, then so be that. Even though I know that the important thing in gift-giving is that it's the thought that counts, I really would prefer to give them something that they'll like or find very useful (on top of the thought that counts). So it's easier for me, as a gift-giver, to know what they want ahead of time, whether it be a wish list, a gift registry, or money for their honeymoon. I don't feel like it's "tacky" or not to do it one way or another because there's no pressure (IMO) to use the registries, even though I always follow registries when purchasing gifts only because I prefer to do so.