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Poll: Stay at home husband

I was doing some thinking today and was wondering everyone's opinion on stay at home husbands.  I should mention DH is not going to be a SAHH anytime in the near future, but it may be an option for us later on down the road depending on where we are living and after we start our family. 

If you had the option of having DH be a stay at home husband would you take it?

Do you think DH would like being a stay at home husband?

If DH decided to be a stay at home husband would he want a part-time / weekend job?

Re: Poll: Stay at home husband

  • I'm no more against the idea of a SAHD than I am a SAHM - whatever works best for the family. In our situation, DH currently makes about 18K more than I do a year, has better benefits, and a more secure job - so that is not in the future for us. I do think that with the cost of childcare that in many cases it makes sense for the person with the smaller salary to stay home, regardless of who it is.
  • If you had the option of having DH be a stay at home husband would you take it? I don't know exactly how to answer this & be PC. Other than saying No.

    Do you think DH would like being a stay at home husband? Mmm... yeah I'm sure he would for the first few months. Then I know he would get bored and want to do something else.

    If DH decided to be a stay at home husband would he want a part-time / weekend job? Part-time, yes. Weekend, no. Just knowing Ted how I do, I know he would have to be making some $$ and contributing financially or he would feel like a failure. Plus he would never hear the end of it from his dad.

  • Well, if Alex stayed home, that would make two of us...  :)If you had the option of having DH be a stay at home husband would you take it? If money were no object, I'd love to have him home more. Or always. Or part time. It would be more than I see him now!Do you think DH would like being a stay at home husband? We've joked about it (he's the primary money maker, so at this point, it is just jokes), and he says that he would love to stay at home and raise the kids. What do I think? I think he'd get bored after about a month. He is a busybody and a workaholic. I don't think he'd last...If DH decided to be a stay at home husband would he want a part-time / weekend job? I cannot imagine him not working. Even when we're on vacation, he works. It is just part of his DNA. I think he'd at least need to work part-time, for his sanity. And probably mine.
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  • imagehawaiianbride08:
    I'm no more against the idea of a SAHD than I am a SAHM - whatever works best for the family. In our situation, DH currently makes about 18K more than I do a year, has better benefits, and a more secure job - so that is not in the future for us. I do think that with the cost of childcare that in many cases it makes sense for the person with the smaller salary to stay home, regardless of who it is.

    There's a difference between a sahDAD and sahHUSBAND. 

    Personally...and I know I'm not in the norm here...but I think that both parties should contribute.  So no, I'm not a fan of either house wives or house husbands.  If he's working his butt off...then I feel I should be as well and vice versa...only fair.  My DH wouldn't stay at home anyway...he's one of those workaholics.

  • we have talked about this so many times and if i was the bread winner then he would be a SAHD.  with that being said...

    If you had the option of having DH be a stay at home husband would you take it? in a heart beat, if we had kids and brought home the bacon.

    Do you think DH would like being a stay at home husband? he would love it!  it reality, we know that i will be the SAHM though.

    If DH decided to be a stay at home husband would he want a part-time / weekend job? i think he would want a PT job once the kid(s) where in school and then be off when they got out.

     

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  • imagekingpepsisgirl:

    imagehawaiianbride08:
    I'm no more against the idea of a SAHD than I am a SAHM - whatever works best for the family. In our situation, DH currently makes about 18K more than I do a year, has better benefits, and a more secure job - so that is not in the future for us. I do think that with the cost of childcare that in many cases it makes sense for the person with the smaller salary to stay home, regardless of who it is.

    There's a difference between a sahDAD and sahHUSBAND. 

    Personally...and I know I'm not in the norm here...but I think that both parties should contribute.  So no, I'm not a fan of either house wives or house husbands.  If he's working his butt off...then I feel I should be as well and vice versa...only fair.  My DH wouldn't stay at home anyway...he's one of those workaholics.

    Woops, misread it! I, like you, disagree with a stay at home spouse if there are no kids. At least - the intention of it. There are circumstances where one spouse cannot find a job or whatever when this is what must be. That said, I think my DH would do better as a SAHH than I would as a SAHW simply because he is happier having lots of time to himself than I am and he wouldn't miss being surrounded by people all of the time.

  • I'm taking this as a Stay at Home Dad approach... 

    If you had the option of having DH be a stay at home husband would you take it?  Nope.

    Do you think DH would like being a stay at home husband?  Nope.

    If DH decided to be a stay at home husband would he want a part-time / weekend job?  Nope, he'd want to be out golfing.

  • So my brother was a SAHD for awhile because it is what worked for their family.  My SIL was active military and it was cheaper for him to stay at home.  He is at home again right now but that is because he went back to school after he lost his job.  I think he gets bored now that my nephew is older though.

    My Dad is a SAHH now.  He worked all the time and my mother stayed home with us when we were really little.  Now my mom is a travel nurse so its hard for him to get a job when they move every 3-6 months.  He gets really bored and that is one of the reasons he moved here for 2 months.  (He only stayed in St Croix for 4 months and was bored out of his mind and really lonely).  So he moved here and is helping me out until mom gets her next job in June.

    My DH wants to be a SAHD.  I wouldn't care if he was.  He is gone all the time with the airline and the guard so it would be nice to see him more.  If I could get a job I loved then I would let him.  I should mention that I don't love being a SAHM, I get really bored and lonely, but I haven't been able to find a job here.  He would work part time, at the Guard.

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  • MissMexMissMex member
      If you had the option of having DH be a stay at home husband would you take it? Well. DH is somewhat at SAHD... He works from home and I didn't want to put E in daycare yet, so he's watching her right now. Do you think DH would like being a stay at home husband? No, DH is an amazing Father, and so good w/ E, but This is def not working. He's not able to get anywork done during the day. It's nearly impossible for him to meet with clients also. If DH decided to be a stay at home husband would he want a part-time / weekend job? He still has his fulltime job, he just doest it at home. Like a lot of the pp's DH's, he world be miserable not working. I think because he's an artist so to speak, he is working 100% of the time. He's basically taken 4 or 5 days off since I've known him. Our vacations are always work related. Hopefully we will figure out a better plan soon. I don't really have a problem with SAHD/ SAHH's. I think its more ideal for at least 1 person to be home, or at lavaiable when childern are home. But we don't live in an ideal world, and this isn't an option for most people.
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  • dh is spending a lot of time at home now doing consulting- I want him to figure out his long term plans and get out- NOW! ;) I kid, I kid...sort of..If you had the option of having DH be a stay at home husband would you take it?  we had discussed this previously and while not out of the realm of a possible scenario (while I was pregnant with P I was completely burnt out mentally and physically) he's the true workaholic in the bunch.  Plus, his passion for his career is 101o% there.  I know very few people who can say that..Do you think DH would like being a stay at home husband? right now he loves being around.  It's the first time he's had the downtime to spend with any of the LO's - but he needs that adrenaline rush of constant pressure (aka work)
    If DH decided to be a stay at home husband would he want a part-time / weekend job? hmm, I can't see him conforming to the SAHD routine, even as a consultant so I'd say maybe? for a short time anyhow.. I get that whole ideology that people suggest both parents or people in a marriage contribute but I actually had  my own $$ coming into our relationship and it was part of the reason I've been able to have the option of SAH - it's not to say I will sah long term, but as someone who deeply values my education I still consider myself ever evolving and look forward to pursuing my next set of challenges...whatever they happen to be in the best way that will suit my family without sacrificing myself, my creativity or my sanity. ;) I think this should hold true (ideally) for any partnership- including marriage..
  • My brother would be the BEST stay at home dad ever.  He already does all the child stuff now plus works.  And I have always said that I would love to have my husband home if possible as my dad rocked/rocks.

    now, when we have kids... FI works from home about 50% of the time now, but you can't really work from home and still be a SAHH, so who knows what will happen. 

    Based on comments FI has made about his loser BIL I doubt he would want to stay home unless we had unlimited funds.  He is very traditional in that respect and thinks its important for him to be earning the bucks.

  • Thanks for all the responses ladies :-)

    DH and I were discussing SAHD last night.  When we start a family there's a chance that DH may be a SAHD and he wasn't really sure how he felt about that.  Its great to see other opionions and POV on the issue :-)

  • Our situation is different from most, but it would never work with DH to be a SAHH. He pays child support for his two sons, and as much as I adore them, I don't see it as my responsibility to pay that if he didn't have an income. Obviously, if something were to happen at his job, that's one thing, but to choose to stay home, I don't think so. And like others mentioned, I think after a while, DH would get bored or spend all the money I was bringing home.  ;)
  • If you had the option of having DH be a stay at home husband would you take it? Yes.  Right now he's the breadwinner in the family so logically speaking I'd most likely be the SAHW/SAHM.  However if something were to change allowing only myself to work, I would have no problem doing it.

    Do you think DH would like being a stay at home husband?  In a heartbeat.   

    If DH decided to be a stay at home husband would he want a part-time / weekend job?  I know if I were the SAHW/SAHM, I would want a pt job when kiddos get older.  I'm not so sure about him. 

  • Jordan would be an awesome SAHD, he has about 700 times more patience than I do :)  We talk about this often when we talk about having kids.  He's all about it and I wouldn't mind either if money wasn't any issue at that point.
  • I'm also taking this as a stay at home dad approach... 

    If you had the option of having DH be a stay at home husband would you take it?

    No, I would be too jealous to let him stay home while I had to go to work.  Additionally, this would never be the case for us since DH makes about $30K more a year than me.  (Sad, but true.)

    Do you think DH would like being a stay at home husband?

    No way.  He would go nuts not working.  I'm actually really worried about his well-being if/when he is laid off.

    If DH decided to be a stay at home husband would he want a part-time / weekend job?

    At the very least.  As I stated above, he would need to work for his own sense of worth.

  • If you had the option of having DH be a stay at home husband would you take it?  Sure, if we were financially able to.  As a teacher, I know this will NEVER happen!

    Do you think DH would like being a stay at home husband? Probably.  He would have to have other things to keep him busy though.

    If DH decided to be a stay at home husband would he want a part-time / weekend job? Yes!!!

  • I'm also taking this as SAHD because I see no reason a person without children should not work.  

    If you had the option of having DH be a stay at home husband would you take it?  I would like to think I'm more liberal than this, but no.  When he figures out how to carry a baby and give birth than maybe.     

    Do you think DH would like being a stay at home husband?  I'm not sure but it wouldn't work.  It's like pulling teeth to get him to do anything around the house and if he wasn't working, I would kill him.

    If DH decided to be a stay at home husband would he want a part-time / weekend job?  Yes, DH would love to work at Starbucks.  Lol.


  • If you had the option of having DH be a stay at home husband would you take it? I don't think so...DH gets a bit depressed when he is not working and he loves to work, so I don't think that I would ever ask him to give up work.

    Do you think DH would like being a stay at home husband? I think he will hate it with passion...hehehe

    If DH decided to be a stay at home husband would he want a part-time / weekend job? Part-time or working from home, yes...not on the weekends.

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  • I could be one with DH's income, but he could not with mine.  Even it if was an option, I don't think either one of us would be a stay at home spouse.  The main reason is we are both afraid of the working spouse losing his/her job.
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