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Feeling bad for myself
J and I had a talk last night about he misses the more physical aspect of our relationship. Since my pain problem started, our sex life has petered out a lot.
But for the last couple of months I've really been putting in an effort. Maybe not always sex, but doing something physical together at least three times a week. Sometimes it's not quite that much because I'm hurting, but I really do try. And I've had some other health problems that have complicated things further but I'm getting past those now.
So now I feel like awful because that part of our relationship is hurting. I feel like my efforts were crap. And I'm afraid that if my improvement plateaus and this is just how my back is going to be this way, we're in trouble.
He didn't mean to make me feel bad. He understands why, but it does make his feelings any less valid.
(His mild jerkiness is not related to this issue. That's probably because he's purposely working too much overtime.)
Re: Feeling bad for myself
Thanks, ladies. It just felt like "Chalk up one more thing I can't do right because of my stupid back." But you're right, Lorelai, it's a good thing that we can have honest conversations like these, even if it hurts a little sometimes.
He knows I'm trying and he appreciates that. He just misses us being close in that way.
awwwwwwwwe I am sorry you are having to deal with this.
DH and I go through lulls and I dont have a back issue as an excuse.
Infact...this might make you laugh...Last night DH wanted some sexy time. I told him no because I ate to much corn....I told him I couldnt handle one more thing in me!!! graphic I know, but I seriously ate 3 ears of corn and was beyond full! lol I am pretty sure I am the first woman to use the excuse "I ate to much corn" as a reason for no nooky
I know your efforts seems like nothing right now but you are trying and that means a lot. Have you found other ways to connect that isnt exactly sexy time.
I am putting the corn excuse away to be brought out when I have nothing else to say. Thanks agent.