Sex & Romance
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
on top....
I'm usually just a lurker but I need advice. I've always been awkward on top, and the only way either of us gets any pleasure is if he's always doing all the work. I know woman on top is supposed to be enjoyable for both parties, and I've heard even more so with women but it just hasn't worked. I feel like my legs are too short and I just can't get down a rhythm. Any advice would be appreciated. I would love to make this work, but any time I try we both just end up frustrated. thanks!!
Re: on top....
I'm on a mac so I can't make these links clicky. I'm glad someone had posted this site the other day because explaining these positions will be difficult.
I suggest trying this first on the couch. It took me a while and some practice to be comfortable and enjoy on top but this one is definitely my personal best/fav
http://www.sexinfo101.com/kneelingmastery.shtml
you can also try this so that he can give you some support and guidance on how much to thrust.
http://www.sexinfo101.com/sp_asiancowgirl.shtml
And reverse can be good too, it can take me a couple mins to figure out where exactly it feels good. Again he should be guiding you to what feels good.
http://www.sexinfo101.com/sp_rodeo.shtml
Try to relax and make it a light hearted and a fun experiment. Just try them every so often and you'll get better with practice. Good luck!!
I agree with PP.
Relax and just do what feels right with your body. I imagine the biggest inhibitor to performing in this position, is your mind. Just let go and enjoy yourself. Experiment with different variations that may feel better then the typical positions and you'll find some that may suit you better.
IMHO the first thing you need to do is forget every woman-on-top sex scene you've seen in the movies. Then, like the pp's mentioned, experiment with different angles to see what works best for you. Try leaning way down so your chest almost touches his--that's my favorite variation.
And don't feel frustrated. If things don't work out, just switch positions and try again next time. Good luck!
Ditto.
Try different angles to see which one works the best for you. Also, don't worry about finding the perfect rhythm at first. Like everything in life, being on top does take practice to get right. Once you get the right angle and rhythm down I'm sure you'll love it. GL!
You might try this one as well. It lacks the intimacy of a face-to-face position, but it gives a very different angle. It's a good workout for your quads, too.
http://www.sexinfo101.com/lapdance.shtml
It definitely just takes some experimenting to see what angles work for you. There are some that don't work as well for me because my knees suck, so we avoid those or only go with them for a few minutes for variety.
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Well yes, the fact that he can watch you is the entire basis of the appeal for men for the woman being on top. Turning the lights off takes that away and makes it all about you. Lovely.
TTC #1 since January 2013
My husband also enjoys me being on top (both facing him, and facing away) and neither really do it for me. On Top Facing Away (I think is called reverse cowgirl) is hard to get into position for. It takes time to guide him and then to be able to get my legs in a place where I can comfortably perform. Facing him, I feel so self-concious that it's hard to enjoy as much as I should. He enjoys every inch of my body, but I'm not in the same shape I was back in H.S. when we met, so the little pudgy belly (not pregnant) takes away my concentration.
One thing we did try last night was using a chair while I'm on top. We used a straight back kitchen chair with a cushion for him to sit on. I then tried both facing him and facing away. It's much easier this way, b/c it's like sitting on his lap. With him sitting up rather than lying back, the penetration is deeper and angled closer to the G-Spot. Facing away from him, your legs do all the work and it's a killer workout. I can definately feel the soreness in my calves today.
My suggestion is to try them a few times a week for only a few minutes at a time until you get comfortable with a position you like. If after trying them you really don't like them, discuss with the SO a position you would both be comfortable with and try that instead.
Kama Sutra books are your friends. Plus, lots of stuff on the internet to give ideas.
Give her a break. If she's self-conscious and needs the lights off before she builds up her confidence, what's it to you?
Thank you for the back up
. I like to imagine that this sight is to help each other, not to bring each other down.
Sex is not a one-way street in our house.
And yet you said he can "kiss it for a few minutes". That part sounds entirely one-way.
And my point was, "I always feel like he's watching me" would be true. He's a man. Men tend to be highly visual. If he's watching you, that's a GOOD thing!
TTC #1 since January 2013
If you are having trouble getting a rhythm, one thing to do is strengthen your legs. We took some time off of working out and "going for a ride" is way harder if your quads are out of shape!
One of my favorites is on the couch with a pillow behind his back. DH can help guide my hips and I can hold onto the back for support or lean back and put my hands on his knees.
I too concur that it?s not our place to criticize one another for trying to give or receive information from others that would be of help in their solving a problem by giving advice on how to get to the end of that problem. We should all instead strive earnestly in helping others? by supplying them with this help, advice and our experiences to reach their goal(s). We as women should work together as do men ? helping each other to reach those full potentials we all possess as individuals.
Too all those women who give advise without being looked upon as wanting rewards of being always right I commend you all. I for one think if you have experiences in an area that will lead another to achieve a climax in their sex life or other fields then you should be able to share it with others without feeling guilty in your posting. Let us all strive to help one another not cut each other down.
This young lady has an image of herself that need support not criticisms ? so let?s build her ego up to the point that she is able to have the lights on and welcome that in her marriage with her husband. I see she needs a positive outlook about her body image ? now let us all try helping her realize her worth as a woman.
Thank you,
~~Emily~~
agree 100%