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Little help please, never want sex :/
Ok so I have never talked about this on an open forum, generally just with my fiance, but I am hoping to get a little more insight.
So for a little background. I have always dealt with anxiety and depression, but I am at the point now where I am not on any medication (they often made me feel nothing(blank-no emotion) and trying to stay pretty even. The last year I have gone through about 4 different kinds of BC and two kinds of anx/dep meds, before quitting the meds all together and going back to the very first BC pill I have ever taken.
Once I started back on the original pill my skin cleared up (...small sign of good hormone balance..) and I felt a little bit better, HOWEVER
I literally NEVER want to have sex with my fiance.I cant get into it, I feel like I have no drive and that nothing feels good. Even if we do try to start i dont want to continue. Some times I even catch myself not wanting to kiss or me intimate in any way. I try to notice when im being like this and counter it but its not helping. My fiance has been very very supportive and sweet through this whole process but I feel so bad putting him though this and im frustrated because I can remember that back in the day we use to have a wonderful sex life. UGH just wondering if any one has some advice while I am waiting to go back and see my doctor (lol she's on maternity leave 
Re: Little help please, never want sex :/
hey I know how you feel, one thing you might want to talk to your doctor about is do you have any illnesses like Endometriosis or PCOS both cause huge lack of sex drive and until you get to meet up with your Doc read this site it http://www.themarriagebed.com/pages/problem/desire/lackdesire.shtml
(the marrige bed)
Thank you so much, you know what now that I think about it I had PCOS but I have been on the pill for such a long time to try and ease it and I havent had any flare ups recently so I thought all was fine, believe me I dont miss being doubled over in pain from cysts bursting...but I never really thought about it recently.
Thank you! Ill look into it.
I worry that you swapped in and out of meds awfully quickly. To go through that many different BCPs and mood stabilizers makes me wonder if you were able to really give any of them a reasonable amount of time.
What about a non-hormonal kind of birth control? With that set of chemicals out of your body, you can focus on a mood stabilizer that doesn't leave you feeling fuzzy.
Finally, when you were last taking this BCP, how was your sex drive?
This is what you might see as a silly and useless side note, but studies show woman who read "romance novels" are 30% more sexually active. I had a problem with never wanting sex but it was because of the particular birth control I was on. Might help, might be useless, jus thought I'd throw it out there
Thank you! Not useless at all, I will take all the advice I can get
I was on the various kinds of meds for about 3 months or longer a piece since most only took 2 to take effect. I am a very sensitive person so I can tell easily when my moods are off or how I am feeling.
I really do want to stop taking the pill but I wont really do that until september when my fi and I are married. (with backup bc condoms ect, to hold off in the kid department). But im not sure what I should do right now, even with the fact that I dont even want to be all cuddly or kiss that often...just seems like a big snowball effect to me, but its a hard rut to get out of.
You said you used to have great sex? What changed? Just the meds? Was there anything else that's happened between when you two were having great sex and now?
BTW have you tried exercising? Sounds a little strange but it's helped my mood a ton. Endorphins and all that, ya know.
to try*
Just a little update
Went to the doctors and we went over everything that has been going on(depression, no sex ect ect) and we decided to try wellbutrin, so we will see how that works.
Also to pp I really do need to start working out more, I have heard it does make you feel better, and it wouldnt kill me to lose a few pounds
Last night fi and I went out for the first time in a while and it was really nice to change the pace and re connect. I tried to loosen up have a few glasses of wine...still no action...BUT we were both very happy and I think it was a step in the right direction.
Thank you all for the support and info. It really has helped even just to get it out there and talk about it.
I have never had any long term medical issues that required medication, and BC was the first med that I started taking on a regular basis. Pre-BC, we had a great sex life. We've been married a little over a year, and since I've been on the BC, our sex life has been much less than great. I count down the days until we decide to TTC so I can stop taking the BC and hopefully get my drive back.
After reading the posts in this thread, I'm starting to think that my lack of sex drive might be related to birth control.
Lately I have had a very low libido. I might get in the mood once or twice a month on my own, and it's usually within the few days before or after my period starts. When my husband starts to try and kiss me or get me in the mood, sometimes I start to respond to it, and then get distracted and bored and not at all into it after a few minutes, or sometimes I just can't get my body to respond to him at all, despite my brain telling me I should be able to.
I haven't thought of trying to change my pill, and just considering it scares me - I have had crazy mood swings and terrible irritability and depression from trying out other pills.
These are some things I do to try to get myself in the mood / keep me there. First off, I try to watch porn. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't, I usually have to skip through parts of them just to keep my interest (some of it is just so boring/ridiculous, it gets me even more out of the mood). I have never read a romance novel, but some other books that I read that have sex scenes in them have been able to spark my libido, so I might try them. To keep it going when we are having sex, I really try to focus on what's going on and not get distracted. If I can keep my mind on what he is doing, sometimes it helps me enjoy it more. If that also fails to work, I start trying to create sexual fantasies in my head, or re-enact good porn scenes in my head. Just recently, I have realized that sometimes taking control can help turn me on - my husband is pretty dominating in bed, but if I take over the reins and do things for him, it helps me focus on getting pleasure out of sex.
At times, none of those work at all and it's really frustrating. It upsets me because I feel that this is something I should be enjoying, and I feel like I'm letting my husband down by not wanting to do it - which, of course, makes wanting to have sex harder the next time because I'm associating bad feelings with it.
I might try to change birth control - now that I think about it, I think my libido started to decline after I started it. Otherwise, all I have to say is good luck, I'm trying to hang in there too.