December 2007 Weddings
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
WWYD? Loooong
DH has a group of guys he has been friends with since middle school. All of us get along and enjoy one another's company, with the exception of one couple. They drive all the wives crazy, the husband is a vulgar, arrogant idiot, and their two children are complete heathens. Both of their sons were "accidents" (if you can call using no form of bc an accident), and you can tell it by the way they deal with their kids. We simply put up with them when necessary to please our husbands because they have been friends for so long.
One of the other couples had a birthday party for their 6 yo daughter today. I had to work, but I dropped off DH and L and picked them up afterward. I was only there 15 minutes, but from the minute I walked in the door, I was annoyed and could tell all the other adults were too. I snapped at the guy before I'd even been there 10 minutes because he was laughing and telling DH he should put a pillow over his head and plug his ears at night when L cries, so I have to get up with him.
When we left, I told DH I really didn't want to invite them do L's 1st birthday, but he says we have to. I have no desire to deal with them or their annoying kids, and I don't want my guests being held hostage by their screaming, bratty sons while the parents sit by and completely ignore it! I would feel like a terrible hostess knowing my guests were miserable. Not to mention, at L's party, there will be a lot more kids, and a lot of our friends from church. There is no telling what would come out of this guy's mouth, and I'd rather not be associated with him, or his wife that insults me every other time she sees me.
I told him that if I do invite them, he can not expect me to deal with them nicely. If I get annoyed, I'm going to tell them. I'm pregnant, I don't like them to begin with, and it certainly wouldn't be the first time I said something ugly to his "friend."
Ugh, so do I just go with it and invite them? Or fight it tooth-and-nail and refuse? But...if I do that, DH could just invite them himself. Uggggh.
One of the other couples had a birthday party for their 6 yo daughter today. I had to work, but I dropped off DH and L and picked them up afterward. I was only there 15 minutes, but from the minute I walked in the door, I was annoyed and could tell all the other adults were too. I snapped at the guy before I'd even been there 10 minutes because he was laughing and telling DH he should put a pillow over his head and plug his ears at night when L cries, so I have to get up with him.
When we left, I told DH I really didn't want to invite them do L's 1st birthday, but he says we have to. I have no desire to deal with them or their annoying kids, and I don't want my guests being held hostage by their screaming, bratty sons while the parents sit by and completely ignore it! I would feel like a terrible hostess knowing my guests were miserable. Not to mention, at L's party, there will be a lot more kids, and a lot of our friends from church. There is no telling what would come out of this guy's mouth, and I'd rather not be associated with him, or his wife that insults me every other time she sees me.
I told him that if I do invite them, he can not expect me to deal with them nicely. If I get annoyed, I'm going to tell them. I'm pregnant, I don't like them to begin with, and it certainly wouldn't be the first time I said something ugly to his "friend."
Ugh, so do I just go with it and invite them? Or fight it tooth-and-nail and refuse? But...if I do that, DH could just invite them himself. Uggggh.
Re: WWYD? Loooong
Why don't all of the wives and the kids not go to things for this couple? All the men can go, and you ladies dont have to deal with their immaturity and rudeness. Eventually, no one in your group will be friends with them anymore.
eta* Basically ditto what Brandi said
And, I wouldn't send them an invite. Who wants that behavior at their party?!
I wouldn't invite them. Don't care what DH would say. Maybe sware their invite must have just been lost in the mail. Do whatcha gotta do!
i think you know we're all going to support you and say dont invite them... but we're not in the situation and we know how important your hubby is to you. and if he wants him there....that's a difficult battle to choose.
for instance, dh wanted ALL of his college buddies to be invited to our wedding - even though he knew we were limited on # of guests. i tried so hard to tell him no we didnt have room and all they would do is come and drink our booze and leave....but i love my hubby and he was insistent that his "friends" be invited so we did (even though it meant having to take some families off the list that i've known since i was a kid) sure enough they came, drank our booze, ate our food then left - 3/4 of them didnt even bother to bring a gift.......but the battle wasnt worth it to me (though i did try to change his mind 5 or 6 times!!)
but dh's friends arent necessarily obnoxious... this guy sounds like a real jerkwad. did you tell yh the reasonings you gave us or did you just say you didnt want to invite him? i would have a good heart to heart with him and have him explain WHY the family should be invited - not just "cuz" and not just "because i've known him since middle school"... WHY would he want someone like that around your church friends, around the upbringing of your precious baby?? if he cannot assure you that the guy will be on his best behavior, you cannot assure yh that the guy will be invited!
Baby #2 - D&E - 10/1/10 @ 19w2d - thanatophoric dysplasia confirmed.
Charlotte Lillian will be forever in our hearts.
Baby #3 - Little Bean - natural miscarriage - 1/17/11 @ 5w5d
i wouldn't invite them. they need to realize their behavior is unacceptable and their kids' behavior is unacceptable. when they stop being included in things like this, maybe they'll get the picture. as long as every one pretends it's one big happy group of friends, they'll continue acting the way they do.
this is your kid's 1st birthday and you don't want it ruined with their inability to behave in public.