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s/o Budget - Combining finances
MH and I have been wanting to combine finances for a while. We are both extremely different in our approach to money, and we've been procrastinating to avoid conflict. He's a planner, I am not. He makes spreadsheets and reconciles receipts, I have a general idea of how much goes in and the receipts live on the bottom of my purse or in my car. We know what each other makes and has in our accounts - we even bought a house together but we can't seem to get over this hurdle. (The hurdle is probably more me afraid of being confined to a strict budget or having new "rules") So far it works separately since we support 2 households (due to working and long-distance commuting) but we're hoping to become more of a single unit for finances.
So, I'd love to hear how you did it...
Did you combine your finances? Exclusively joint account(s), or joint plus separate accounts?
When did you combine your finances? (Before or after getting married)
Is one person in charge of the household money/budget?
Any issues or tips when you did?
Re: s/o Budget - Combining finances
We combined our finances. We chose joint accounts. And we did this before we got married.
I'm the one in charge of paying bills and maintaining the budget, though MH is responsible for his credit cards. He knows his budget for the month and must also let me know when he needs to pay them.
When we decided to combine we had a talk and decided that I should be the main person in charge since I'm more of the planner/cheapskate than he is. But as time has gone on, I noticed that I started to become the "bad guy" when I told him we couldn't afford things he wanted to buy. Since he wasn't in charge of the budget, he didn't know where we stood, but to him since he's bringing in a good chunk of money each month he should be able to spend how he wants. But we addressed this and now I show him exactly what are budgets are and where we stand so he has a better understanding of things. It's worked a lot better for us.
It was just hard since he was raised much differently than I was in regards to money. So talk it out (communication is key!), be patient with each other and work together as a team. Good luck
Did you combine your finances? Exclusively joint account(s), or joint plus separate accounts? We have a joint account for household expenses (mortgage, utilities, groceries, etc) that I manage and we each have individual accounts.
When did you combine your finances? (Before or after getting married) We did it when we bought our house - about 2 years before our wedding.
Is one person in charge of the household money/budget? Not really. Like I mentioned, I manage the joint account but since I lost my 'big girl' job I have to tell him when I need him to put more money in it.
Any issues or tips when you did? Patience and communication is key. I do NOT like sharing finances at all since I'd not shared finances ever and I was 33 when we did. I hate feeling like I have to consult someone for my purchases. I don't think we'd do well if we combined everything - this saves us arguments, I'm sure.
Did you combine your finances? Exclusively joint account(s), or joint plus separate accounts? We have a joint savings account that we deposit into every month or withdraw from as needed and that account is used to pay our mortgage. We have separate checking accounts, MH pays all bills, I buy groceries. There are five of us so groceries aren't cheap, and MH is very generous sneaking cash into my purse often
When did you combine your finances? (Before or after getting married) We did it when we bought our house, about 16 mos before we got married, though I wasn't contributing anything because I was still living in and paying the mortgage on my house.
Is one person in charge of the household money/budget? I guess MH is. I check our savings account when I transfer money into it, but that's about the extent of my involvement. Just as long as more is going in than coming out each month, it's all good.
Any issues or tips when you did? I am like Amy where I do NOT like sharing finances at all. After 30 something years, it is huge to do so. We had a really tough time from late 2008 until this year. MH was only working part time because of the economy. I really had to step up and contribute a lot more money per month plus we all but depleted our savings account. Once a week, MH was spending money to go golfing, but I never once said a word about it. Did I like it? No. Was $40 - $60 a week going to make or break us, no. He was so depressed and golfing made him feel good for a day. Like it was his therapy. I am so glad that I chose to keep my mouth shut, because he is still appreciative that I didn't give him a hard time about it. I mention this only because my 'tip' would be that no matter how bad things are, it is just money. Not worth arguing over or nit picking purchases.
Did you combine your finances? Exclusively joint account(s), or joint plus separate accounts? We have a joint account for household expenses (mortgage, bills, etc - basically anything that's not "fun money") and we each have individual accounts (for the fun money). We don't see each others' statements for the individual accounts, and can spend them as we please. So I save it for dinner or trips with girlfriends, new clothes or shoes, pedicures, gifts for MH, etc - anything that's for/from "me" instead of "us".
When did you combine your finances? (Before or after getting married) Right after getting married, since we put all our wedding gift money into that account
Is one person in charge of the household money/budget? Not really. We try to set aside time to review our finances together once a month. I would say I keep a closer eye on things though, on a more regular basis. We each know how much goes in and roughly how much goes out every month.
Any issues or tips when you did? Both our paychecks (after 401k contributions) go into the joint account, and we have automatic deposits into our respective brokerage firms for monthly investments, as well as automatic deposits into our separate accounts. Our retirement and brokerage accounts are separate, mostly b/c we have pretty different investing strategies and didn't see the need to combine them - so much hassle
We still view them as "our" money and not "yours" and "mine". Also, our paychecks go into our joint account first, since the idea is that one day, I may stop working - but I would still get my "allowance".
I definitely agree with pp that communication is key. Good luck!
Did you combine your finances? Exclusively joint account(s), or joint plus separate accounts? Currently we have a joint account plus separate savings accounts (a e-fund that's in my name just because I already had the account established and we still haven't gotten around to adding his name to it, plus a savings account in his name that he uses to sock away his fun money until he spends it).
When did you combine your finances? (Before or after getting married) After getting married, when we bought our house. Until then we had separate accounts with a single joint savings account that we used for projects.
Is one person in charge of the household money/budget? Me, for the most part. I set the budget and track expenses (in a general way) and tell him when he needs to stop spending money.
Any issues or tips when you did? Not really - it was a very smooth transition for us because even though we'd had separate accounts previously, we'd shared our money and already considered it joint funds (which I think is important if you're going to do this).
We combined ours into ONE account while we were still engaged. We figured since we already owned a condo and we were saving for the wedding.
I'm primarily in charge of the account, I look at it to be sure all the bills came out and I pay any bills that come in. I'm more of a planer and like to look at the accounts more than DH does. That's why I was the one that became in charge of them. That said, we don't balance using the receipts, we pretty much just know what should have come out and what should be going in... I used to be more like your DH with the receipts and stuff but once we were planning the wedding and super busy with stuff, I just gave up on that
I'm fine without doing that part of it. I just watch it and be sure things are ok... That said we also have a joint savings acct if needed but we TRY very hard not to dig into it. We plan vacations and don't dip into savings for them, we just plan and save in our regular acct and when we have enough money, we book the tickets and such.
We have a "rule" that we have to have a discussion if we're going to be spending over $200 in one place on one thing, unless it's a gift for the other person.
We haven't had any real issues so I don't have any major suggestions. We're both more savers than spenders so that works in our favor I'm sure.
Did you combine your finances? Exclusively joint account(s), or joint plus separate accounts?
We have joint checking account with a local bank and a joint savings with ING.
When did you combine your finances? (Before or after getting married)
Before we were married and just co-habitating we had a joint checking and separate accounts for savings and checking but once we were married it made more sense to combine it all.
Is one person in charge of the household money/budget?
We are both responsible for our money/budget but since Libby was born J takes care of paying the bills whereas before, we shared that chore.
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we still haven't officially combined. we just have separate checking and savings accounts at the same bank but they are linked together and we both have access to them. It works for us b/c DH never uses his debit card and meticulously balances his checkbook. I never have cash, always use my debit, and log onto my account about every other day to get a rough estimate of how much I have coming in and out and make sure I don't see any fraudulent charges.
My method drives him nuts so he doesn't want to touch my checking account. I pay all our bills just because I like writing checks and filing papers in our files at home so he transfers funds as needed into my account for those bills.
someday we might just combine a little more, but then I think why b/c it would be about the same but difficult for both of us to get use to.
hi hi hi great poll!
Did you combine your finances? Exclusively joint account(s), or joint plus separate accounts?
we have our own accounts from before we were married. we also have a joint ING acccount for household stuffs. we have automatic deductions that are equal that go to the ING account. whatever is leftover, in our individual accounts, we are free to spend how we want without questions.
When did you combine your finances? (Before or after getting married)
we combined the week after we were married. we weren't living together before we got married and i had a mortgage while mh did not.
Is one person in charge of the household money/budget?
mh is in charge of the accounts and making sure everything is paid on time. we meet every week or so and do little check ins. we both have access to teh account and look on line and such. i am the penny pincher budgeter though. so he pays stuffs, and i make sure we are in out budget.
Any issues or tips when you did?
i think mh and i balance each other out. he's a free spirit when it comes to money, and i'm the tightwad. hahaha which works out because i balance him out where he doens't go crazy spending everything. and he balances me out because i get to have a little financial freedom and not feel guilty if i want to buy a fancy dessert once in a while (mostly every few months).
at the same time, we put our household and stuff first. we sit down every once in a while and discuss our financial goals and how we put them realities.
honestly, i've heard so many variations of how couples manage money. and what i find is that whateever system works for your particular situation is great as long as the expectations are clearly defined and followed and also when communication is present.
hawaii 10.2008 plan ;P married bio ???