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::slaps forehead:: and vents
My cousin is having a baby. She's due at the end of October. I've been a little upset at her (and trying to get over it because I'm being petty) about her pregnancy. I found out through her SIL's posting on facebook that she is pregnant. NOT from my cousin that she was pregnant (she called me shortly after the post, but it still p!ssed me off). There was also some jealousy there that she was pregnant on my part and DH was dragging his feet on TTC. Anyway, she got married last year and is a few years younger than me. I'm also not positive that she's the best person to have a child right now. She loves to party (has since stopped since she got pg) and I'm pretty sure she was using pot up until she started trying. DH and I saw her and her husband this weekend. My cousin announced she is having a boy. My first thought was why is this the first I'm hearing of this. Then I did the math and realized this is a little early for her to know this. I asked her how she knew and she said she saw a penis on the 8 week ultrasound. Ummm...okay? I swear the girl hasn't picked up a pregnancy book. She seemed clueless about this whole process. She bragged about her OB/GYN saying she has gained too much weight already and said she eats whatever she wants and has not worked out once since she got her BFP. WTF?
She later talked about how her and her husband are moving out of their rental home into an apartment and they can't afford to buy a house because they have bad credit. She talks a lot about never having any money (I was supposed to go have dinner with her and I had to offer to buy because she couldn't afford to buy herself dinner), but they bought a brand new acura last year. I'm just all around annoyed with her. She has 4 cats and just now realized she can't care for 4 cats and have a baby. You didn't think of this before you kept bringing cats into your home? She's sent me emails asking what she should do with one of her cats and DH and I had the feeling she was fishing for us to take him. So after all this, her mother asked my grandma when I'm getting pregnant and went on to imply that I would be "copying" by getting pregnant. It should be interesting to hear the comments her mom tells my grandma when we make the announcement in a few weeks.
Anyways, I'm just venting. Thanks for listening. I feel like I don't see her as the good friend I once did just because of all this crap. It just makes me mad that I'm so prepared for this baby (well, as much as I can be) and DH and I have done everything right. We save, we have little debt, we own our house, we project our budget into the future, etc. and she just decided she wanted to be a mommy and bam, pregnant.
Re: ::slaps forehead:: and vents
Oh girl. Don't even get me started on people who get pregnant and "should" not be. Or people who "try" and should not. Or people who have a baby already and can barely afford that one, but still feel entitled to a dozen more.
And knowing it's a boy because she saw a penis at the 8 wk ultrasound??? WTF? The girl has a lot to learn.
Just know you can only control what YOU do.
Let us know the reaction when your make your announcement.
hugs. Good luck with that.
I hate to pull out such a cliche line, but I do feel sorry for your cousin's baby if they truly are in such dire financial straits.
I completely agree with everything Elisa said! I have a few "friends" who are pregnant and can nowhere afford a baby, but started trying because they "wanted" one right at that moment! It's one of those things where people think they're entitled to everything they want right when they want it. It sucks, but you can't control it. Like Elisa said, you can only control what you do.
Good for you for doing everything the "right" way. You know that your baby will be well cared for and you will provide everything you can for him/her. I would just focus on that great place that you guys are in right now and hopefully her reaction to your news is good and won't get you down.
On a side note--I'm currently annoyed by my cousin, who's kid is about a year old. She gets free child care through the state, WIC, etc. And just booked a super nice cruise for the fall. I want to go on a cruise too, but can't afford it right now because I'm trying to do everything the "right" way--save up a good emergency fund so we can have a baby, pay our mortgage, go to school, etc. I'm just jealous I guess.
But now I just have to take Elisa's advice too, and know that I can only control my own life.
So after all this, her mother asked my grandma when I'm getting pregnant and went on to imply that I would be "copying" by getting pregnant. It should be interesting to hear the comments her mom tells my grandma when we make the announcement in a few weeks.
Whaaat? How is getting pregnant copying? It's not really something you can plan to a T, ya know? I think I know where your cousin's problems started. Anyway, I'm sure a lot of what you're feeling may be related to pregnancy hormones. Honestly, though, don't worry about what she does with her life. It's unfortunate that she thought it was okay to have a baby when they can barely afford a dinner out, but that's all on them.
But in reality, it's not. It's on taxpayers if she ends up qualifying for aid.
Like Michelle mentioned, her cousin gets "free" childcare and WIC, but she can afford to go on a cruise???!!!??
It seems like the planners get the raw end of the deal.